shaynej76 Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 About a month ago the women i've been with for 4 years and we have a 7 month old beautiful healthy boy, decided she wasn't happy and wanted out! So I said if I can't make you happy than I don't know what to do. Well we recently moved home to Minnesota from L.A.,quite the change. We both worked at a golf club/Casino and she was a waitress and I the head Chef. I was given many signs of her unhappiness at work and home. I new something was up when she kept her cell in her pocket for days. Well turns out she has been texting a co-worker and later I hack into her MySpace acct and find out that she has been seeing a co-worker of ours. He is a 27 year old that has no DL,and lives with his mom! He also drinks and smokes weed everyday and the reason she left me was because I drank to much!(2-3 times a week) So why go to someone who's worse than me,doesn't make sense. Well she left me her dod and the house we own and stuck me with the baby so she can be a party girl!I asked her many times if she screwed him and she denies everything,well at work I asked one of her friends and he told me yes on several occasions. Well I confronted her and she still denies. Then She finally broke down and told me yes just once! Since then we had a huge fight and I broke her back window out of her Dads car by putting a flower pot in the trunk,It was truly an accident.Well I paid for it and the day after she suddenly has a change of heart and wants to make our family work?!? After a few days she tells me that she is unsure,confused and depressed. I tell her I can forgive her in time but want to make our family cuz I do love her and it will be good for the baby. I have been seeing a pastor for guidence and everyone says to give her another chance but can I live with the thought of her doing this again to me. I sit home everynite with the baby crying and saying to him how sorry I am. I have no social life and she is out partying and maybe screwing him.I dont know. She says i'm pressuring her into makin a decision fast,well I dont understand what theres to think about,we both made mistakes and need to work them out so we can be a happy family forever! What should I do move on or continue to pursue her and try to forgive her? Please tell me:confused:
michael d Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 aloha . sorry you are going thru this......you need to make an appointment to go see a couples counselor. they can help you both to see and understand what is going on . they are trained to mediate and uncover truths about yourselves that will help you proceed. with a third person and a professional, there will be less arguing and more discovery. most insurance covers it too. now, in my opinion she is having a crisis in her life, and if you love her, you should try to help her thru it. be there for her. but can you take her back after this betrayal, that will come down to you. it's very difficult, and i am in the same spot right now my man! it's so torturous to know your wife is out with another i know . as long as you can handle it, try to wait this storm out!!!! help her to come home. good luck buddy. mike d
Author shaynej76 Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 thankyou for your imput, everyone says to wait it out and get some counseling!I do but she is unclear about what she wants. She says that she is confused and stressed out! I understand, I dont want to be a broken family, i was raised by a stepdad and our relationship is horrible and not being with my biological father makes me wonder still today at 31 yrs. old what could of been different! I dont want that for my child! He is already being hurt I can tell cuz when he's at her parents half the time he has Mom,grama grandpa and two uncles to share him and always hold him,well here he only has me!!! So it is really hard on me...I am really hurt by all of this and I don't know if its going to get any better with my boy if she doesnt come home.I love her so much and want this to work so bad.I pray and pray and pray!Just when I think shes coming around she pushes away it is driving me nuts! She said she isnt happy at her parents and a break is good (I agree) but if she gets too use to this lifestyle will she even want to come home,I hope so, Man this is confusing I wish I could just run away and hide forever!!! thanks again
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