sumdude Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Time for my divorce thread to die.. just like the marriage. Ten months since she moved out.. I hit a pretty big, I guess you'd call a watershed moment a week ago. Where out of the blue I kind of went through the whole slew of emotions I felt all year in an hour or two. They say when you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. In this case when the last feelings about my ex and the marriage died the whole relationship flashed before my eyes. Since then I'm doing really well. My brain just finally stopped with all the nonsense. I've sort of been dating a woman a few weeks but nothing serious.. in fact I could care less right now if I'm seeing someone or not. Sure it would be nice but someone's going to have to seriously knock my socks off to get me to invest myself in them. I'm still working out though slowed down a little. Started taking some Kung Fu classes for the physical and mental exercise. Socializing, just lving my life.. and it's all good. The occasional bout of the lonlies but not really missing her anymore. It's all about me now.. So much good advice I've gotten here.. The last few months I've found myself yelling "Get the hell out of my head!" at moments when I've caught myself thinking about her and missing something that doesn't exist... Reminds me of a couple things Gunny says.. about paying rent for mental space.. I get the rare wacky voice mail from the ex... she is so in a strange different world I just kind of roll my eyes... anyone who can change that much in 10 months is just not terribly stable or sure of her own self. I do actually hope it works out for her but if past performance is a predictor of future behavior... this will run it's course in a few months to a few years. Some people are just chamelions and latch on to something or someone outside of themselves for identity. She rode me and our relationship for all it was worth. When I simply ran out of energy to keep it all going and fell apart for a while she just left me out to pasture and found a new ride. Looking back I'd say I'd still probably do it all over again as crazy as that sounds after all the pain this year. Sure there are thing I wish I had known or done differently at the time but in the end I think I did everything I could and was honorable through it all so I sleep fine at night. To those of you in the early part of a separation/divorce as the one being left, full of doubts, fears, the hurt, the racing heart and thoughts, the self doubt, the self blame... It gets better. Keep your head up and keep climbing.
LostinBama Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Time for my divorce thread to die.. just like the marriage. Ten months since she moved out.. I hit a pretty big, I guess you'd call a watershed moment a week ago. Where out of the blue I kind of went through the whole slew of emotions I felt all year in an hour or two. They say when you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. In this case when the last feelings about my ex and the marriage died the whole relationship flashed before my eyes. Since then I'm doing really well. My brain just finally stopped with all the nonsense. I've sort of been dating a woman a few weeks but nothing serious.. in fact I could care less right now if I'm seeing someone or not. Sure it would be nice but someone's going to have to seriously knock my socks off to get me to invest myself in them. I'm still working out though slowed down a little. Started taking some Kung Fu classes for the physical and mental exercise. Socializing, just lving my life.. and it's all good. The occasional bout of the lonlies but not really missing her anymore. It's all about me now.. So much good advice I've gotten here.. The last few months I've found myself yelling "Get the hell out of my head!" at moments when I've caught myself thinking about her and missing something that doesn't exist... Reminds me of a couple things Gunny says.. about paying rent for mental space.. I get the rare wacky voice mail from the ex... she is so in a strange different world I just kind of roll my eyes... anyone who can change that much in 10 months is just not terribly stable or sure of her own self. I do actually hope it works out for her but if past performance is a predictor of future behavior... this will run it's course in a few months to a few years. Some people are just chamelions and latch on to something or someone outside of themselves for identity. She rode me and our relationship for all it was worth. When I simply ran out of energy to keep it all going and fell apart for a while she just left me out to pasture and found a new ride. Looking back I'd say I'd still probably do it all over again as crazy as that sounds after all the pain this year. Sure there are thing I wish I had known or done differently at the time but in the end I think I did everything I could and was honorable through it all so I sleep fine at night. To those of you in the early part of a separation/divorce as the one being left, full of doubts, fears, the hurt, the racing heart and thoughts, the self doubt, the self blame... It gets better. Keep your head up and keep climbing. Thanks sumdude! That is kind of inspiring for us that are just starting the journey through the mire. Unfortunately, I am nowhere near where you are, but again it is inspiring to know that these feelings will die in time. I do not know where I will be in 2008, but I hope that it is a better year than this one. Thanks again...
T L Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Time for my divorce thread to die.. just like the marriage. Ten months since she moved out.. I hit a pretty big, I guess you'd call a watershed moment a week ago. Where out of the blue I kind of went through the whole slew of emotions I felt all year in an hour or two. They say when you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. In this case when the last feelings about my ex and the marriage died the whole relationship flashed before my eyes. Since then I'm doing really well. My brain just finally stopped with all the nonsense. I've sort of been dating a woman a few weeks but nothing serious.. in fact I could care less right now if I'm seeing someone or not. Sure it would be nice but someone's going to have to seriously knock my socks off to get me to invest myself in them. I'm still working out though slowed down a little. Started taking some Kung Fu classes for the physical and mental exercise. Socializing, just lving my life.. and it's all good. The occasional bout of the lonlies but not really missing her anymore. It's all about me now.. So much good advice I've gotten here.. The last few months I've found myself yelling "Get the hell out of my head!" at moments when I've caught myself thinking about her and missing something that doesn't exist... Reminds me of a couple things Gunny says.. about paying rent for mental space.. I get the rare wacky voice mail from the ex... she is so in a strange different world I just kind of roll my eyes... anyone who can change that much in 10 months is just not terribly stable or sure of her own self. I do actually hope it works out for her but if past performance is a predictor of future behavior... this will run it's course in a few months to a few years. Some people are just chamelions and latch on to something or someone outside of themselves for identity. She rode me and our relationship for all it was worth. When I simply ran out of energy to keep it all going and fell apart for a while she just left me out to pasture and found a new ride. Looking back I'd say I'd still probably do it all over again as crazy as that sounds after all the pain this year. Sure there are thing I wish I had known or done differently at the time but in the end I think I did everything I could and was honorable through it all so I sleep fine at night. To those of you in the early part of a separation/divorce as the one being left, full of doubts, fears, the hurt, the racing heart and thoughts, the self doubt, the self blame... It gets better. Keep your head up and keep climbing. Thanks Sumdude, glad you are getting through it. It helps those of us newer to this nightmare to hear from others such as yourself who are further along the road. Heres to a good 2008 for us all!!!!
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