sb129 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 scratch, I have to express this because I keep seeing the title of your thread and it makes me cranky. Guide to getting and keeping a man, bothers me. Men are not feral animals, needing to be coerced into being hand fed by kindly treatment. You gentlemen are not porch cats or raccoons. Women don't need to trap and keep you. If this is the way men feel, I'd honestly rather be alone. This thread keeps me wondering- Do women really NEED a guide to "catch him and keep him"? I mean, people have been procreating for centuries. Scratch seems to act like he is peddling some kind of NEW concept. Women should just be themselves and be an all around decent person and they should eventually find what they are looking for, Games will never get you what you want unless you crave drama. Exactly. Well said, to the point, on the money and in less than five lines. Emphasis on good relationship. If one person's continually compromising healthy aspects of their identity (eg confidence, assertiveness...) to prevent their partner from walking, I don't call that a good relationship. I agree with this too. Again- if they are compromising who they are, they aren't being true to themselves, and this is a form of game playing.
LoveLace Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I'm with TBF...the whole "catch him and keep him" thing bothers me, too. Makes me feel like everything I do is going to be labeled as being either right or wrong in some book. As though if I do everything just exactly right I'll end up with a prize valuable jewel you call a boyfriend. Where are the books that make the women look like the big prize? The books that say, "You might not want to do this, but this is what women want, so if you don't accept it you'll be single forever."... Titles like that also make it sounds as though our society of women have apparently been big failures at relationships or something...like we don't know what we're doing...does anyone? Didn't everyone get by without books like this in the 19th Century? Or were most marriages still arranged then?! I'm expected to do duties correctly at my job and school, both of which hand you manuals of guidelines in the beginning, now there's a manual for dating, is there anything I can do my way in life without being told it's wrong or right? Dating advice isn't all bad, a lot of times it makes sense, but things like "Catch him and Keep Him" are insulting in a sense, to both sexes if you ask me....why don't they just make one called "relationships for Dummies"...if they haven't already...
clueless24 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 So this guy and I are classmates (ages 24)and are close friends. He texts me a lot, everyday. sometimes we talk through text for a few hours. recently he started calling me daily, just small talk. but he's often too flaky saying that he would join our other classmates and I for drinks and then end up making other plans without calling to cancle. I am assuming that he does have feelings for me cuz guys just don't do that if they are just interested in just being friends right? However, he often do not respond to my texts. So being ticked off by that, i sometimes dont answer his texts as well. Then he would call, not to ask why i didn't text back but just to make small talk. I usually dont call him unless it is to return his call. I texted him saying i hate it that he doesnt respond sometimes and he said he was sorry he did not get the previous text i was referring to. i dont know if that's true but then he does it again and again. I think he knows that i am attracted to him. it seems like he draws me in and then gives me the cold shoulders. He talks about other girls around me a lot and does not make any effort in pursueing me outside of the texting. He was quite flaky last weekend when he said he would join my friends and I for sushi. I texted him asking if he's going later. he responded hes going to hang out with his friends. i was a little pissed, but i didnt respond to say anything. He called later to say have a good time. Is he playing mind games with me or is he just not romantically interested?
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