mlchris2 Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 i posted a thread in the Dating forum about my situation about a month back. long story short... fell head over heals for a girl i work with, who ended up having a BF that treats her like crap. now she's engaged. i am happy for her, but im just crushed. before all this happened shes all i would think about. now she's made it clear, without saying anything that it needs to stop. i dont want things to be weird between the two of us. Im not the type to hold a grudge, etc. she still flirts with me a bit and thats not good... for me. i stopped the phone calls and txt. I stopped the IM at work, but she usually starts the conversations now. We stopped going to lunch, she wont let me pick her up a soda at the gas station, we dont hang out anymore. so can you guys give me some pointers on how i can adjust to these changes? the only way i know how is to stop talkin to her until i loose feelings, but shes a great person that i dont want to loose touch with. MC
polywog Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 Well, for now you need to break all contact with her, hard as that sounds. If you keep hearing from her, you'll keep holding on, whether you consciously want to or not. It's going to be a period of withdrawl, so be kind to yourself and keep telling yourself that it's for your own good. Ask her to kindly stop contacting you. Hopefully she'll respect this, but if she doesn't, then please bite the bullet and don't reply or find a way to block her. Frankly, I know you have feelings for her, but it strikes me as very selfish on her part to keep contacting you, like she is getting off on your affection that she will not return, because of her relationship/engagement. It's also possible that she just likes you and feel guilty and is assuaging her guilt by keeping in touch so she can feel like things are "OK". You deserve more than the crumbs she seems to be tossing, don't forget that. Good Luck, and keep posting for strength.
Author mlchris2 Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 stop talking to her - that thought did pass my mind and you're right, that would be so hard for me to do. I do think its the best course of action, though. One thing i really dont understand... Why did she tell me all the things and act the way she did? Why did i fall into the trap, when i knew full well she was involved? Can you shed some light my way... believe me i will. this forum, helped me through a seperation, divorce, dating. i alway return when i need some non-judgemental advice. MC
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