Way to Go Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 I am in a LT relationship and feel totally trapped. I am totally in love with her and feel that the feeling is not mutual. I am emotionally drained. I am sitting up at 3am once again, sick to my stomach. I feel that I can't live with or without her. She claims that she is in love with me and that things would be different if we were married. I don't want to make that commitment until things are different. I am a totally affectionate person and she is the complete opposite. I wish I had the nerve to break up with her but I don't think I can handle it emotionally. Either way I can't handle the endless tape and questions that I constantly think about. Any suggestions on what to do will be greatly appreciated.
Leia Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 I don't think there is anything you can do about it. If you're total opposites, I don't see that it can work. I am saying this from my own experience. I know "opposites attract" but I don't think it's a go for long term relationship.
purplegurl Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 i can totally relate to what ur going through.... i was with my ex for 3 years and i was madly in love with him....but there was always this nagging doubt in my mind that he wasnt affectionate enuf...sometimes i even felt that he wasnt that much into me. Although wenever i tried talkin to him abt it he always denied it and would be loving for a short time.and unfortunately me in my lovestruck state believed him totally. so in the end he dumped me for another gurl......and u wont believe wat he said....that he was totally in love with her....not only that he had never felt like this about me even once in the 3 yrs we wre together. i dont kno how to advise you...just try and be a lil cautious.and if the relationship is still lacking affection then its better to get out before u r dumped.i kno its seems impossible to imagine doing such a thing if u are totally committed to someone......but in the end u have to realise that if a gurl really loves you she would be affectionate towards you atleast.
Leia Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 so in the end he dumped me for another gurl......and u wont believe wat he said....that he was totally in love with her....not only that he had never felt like this about me even once in the 3 yrs we wre together. That totally sucks!!!! I would hate to be in your place. What a moron! It's a good thing he's your ex now!
kymberann Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 I don't want to make that commitment until things are different. What is it that has to be different? Does it have to be different prior to getting married or when the mariage happens. Has your girl friend given you details as to what needs to be different? (other than the marriage) And would you really commit if she didn't change but you did? You are already seeing warning signs. THat is why you are feeling the way you are. Remember marriage is not a deal maker or breaker, with signs like this it only dooms what is to come. Marriage is not an end all be all either. I think you are right, many people trap others by doing the "things would be different if we were married". If you see it now it will only get worse. HAve you suggessted a break? You can be strong enough, you came here to get some feedback! You will find what works for you! Best
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