Rewind Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 So I met a guy who I finally clicked with, love talking to, granted he seems to be a little bit too eager than I would like. He has told me how I'm the type of girl he would take home to his parents and he loves talking to me blah,blah. But it hasn't gotten physical yet. So in the the time we have spoken he has made two judgmental comments that on his part he did not know would offend me. I have had work done, as in plastic surgery, as have other people I know. Of course like everything else there are people against it. Now I don't openly disclose this with anyone, actually really only my family knows and one other close friend. Some people are very open with it though. So in conversation he made one comment in particular that really got under my skin. The comment was he knew a woman was a party girl because she had a particular procedure done and went out to bars. It wasn't the bar part it the first mentioning of how she had work done. I almost laughed a little because it was pretty ignorant. I didn't want to get too defensive bc I thought he would probably start to wonder why it was bothering me so much so I just calmly said so you assume she is a party girl bc she had work done? And he was like no it's more like the way she was dressed, I'm assuming which was slutty. Now if things are to progess with me and him he would pretty much end up finding out that I had surgery of course I would have to tell him. He seems like a pretty straight and narrow kind of guy but I can judge at times too, alot of things I pretty much can't bc it would be the pot calling the kettle black lol. I told my cousin the story and she told me to just tell him and the other thought I should not say anything or wait to see if things progress and if and when he does find out he'll be at a lost for words lol. I mean if he truly liked me then this wouldn't matter right? I could turn around and make comments how grown men who are momma's boys are nausauting and alot of women find it to be a huge turnoff. So do I just let this comment go considering he didn't really know it would offend me?
norajane Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 Reading between the lines, it sounds like he said something about a woman had breast enlargement, and then wore revealing (slutty) clothes and went to bars a lot and showed them off for attention. This offended you...because you've had your breasts done and don't want to be stereotyped in the same way as that woman. My guess is that he meant what he said - that it was her actions and choices of clothing after the boob job that made him think she was a slutty party girl, not the boob job itself. You need to be honest with him about what you had done before you have sex with him. He's going to feel like crap if you wait until you're both all turned on and then he touches your breasts and realizes. He'll remember what he said, and he'll feel bad, and that will be the end of his erection. And that will also do some damage to the trust level between you, so ultimately could end the relationship, too.
Star Gazer Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 I'm assuming you haven't had the implants for a long time. I've had breast augmentation too. I've also heard comments like what you heard from about half the guys I've dated who didn't know at the time that I had work done either. You're right, they're ignorant comments to make. THEY are the ones who are ignorant. Try not to let it bother you. I disagree with NJ though about owning up to having had surgery before gettin' it on with this guy. It's really none of his business, it's your body. And I don't really understand why you'd owe any sort of explanation to him in advance. If he gets turned off or gets worried after remembering his comment, who cares? I never tell guys beforehand, and they never ask before hand. Sometimes it comes up afterward, but usually I bring it up in passing and they acknowledge that they've figured it out. I've NEVER had a guy get turned off by my boobs. If anything, they're even more turned on simply because they're playing with big, perfect boobs and are excited that I cared enough about my appearance to do something about it...and they're just excited because they're BOOBS. Boobs, boobs, boobs. There is a huge stereotype about "the type of woman" who gets boobs....your guy's comment is proof of this. When I hear those comments, I laugh to myself at their ignorance. I'm an articulate, smart, successful attorney. I dress conservatively. I don't party. I barely even go out. I don't look for attention. They're proportional to my body. I've actually had two different guys tell me they didn't believe me that they were fake, and this is AFTER they "played" with them. Dudes who claim to be "boob men" often don't know a damn thing! Haha! My BF now is a self-proclaimed boob man, and he loves my boobs. Seriously, don't worry about it. They are a part of you now, so whomever you're with is going to have to love the boobs too. If I were you, I wouldn't tell them beforehand. It would sound as though you were "warning" them or that you had something to apologize for. Men don't apologize for having flat butts or small dicks beforehand, do they? And those things are FLAWS. Your perfectly augmented breasts are not flaws, and nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Be proud. Own those ta-tas. The right guy will love them just as much as you do.
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