birdmadgirl Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 Hi, all! Long time, no post. I'm trying to determine whether or not having been given a business card by a member of the opposite sex indicates interest on his part. I see this person occasionally because we live in the same building (I'm sure I'll be asking questions about dating a neighbor if things take that turn). Our encounters are always exceedingly brief but also quite pleasant. By now, I have been able to determine that we're both painfully shy, which is probably why the conversation hasn't been more telling than it has been thus far... well, unless he's not interested, and he may not be. I'm terrible at reading people when it comes to my own interests. Yesterday, our professions caused us to cross paths during a special event in my place of employment. I was shocked to see him, and was visibly anxious. A colleague asked why my face was so red, so I gave her the background story and told her that this individual was in our midst. She laughed and said I should talk to him. After moments of psyching myself up, I approached him in a very casual way and said, "Don't I know you?" He grinned and acknowledged that I did. We discussed the nature of his business here, at which point he asked me if there were certain people he should be meeting or talking to. I gave him a few names and he went across the room to introduce himself to them. He'd come back periodically to talk to me about unrelated things, and then finally, he handed his business card to me, saying, "Hey, let me give you my card. It has all my contact information on it." I struggled for two hours over whether or not I should contact him, and the same colleague I mentioned earlier told me that if he did not want me to contact him, he wouldn't have given me his card. I agreed, so I emailed him. This morning, I noticed that he responded about an hour after I wrote him. I invited him to attend my band's upcoming show, but not in a, "Hey, let's go on a date!" sort of way. It was more, "My band has a show Saturday night. You should come see us! I'll be there and maybe we can chat." He responded with, "What time is it? Hopefully I can come." So... am I reading too much into it? Playing it too cool? Not cool enough? Ordinarily, I would be inclined to think that giving me his business card was a professional move, but I am not in a position to further his career in the least. This is why I feel the gesture may have been friendly, at the very least, and perhaps more than that. Your thoughts...? Thanks in advance!
Lovegod Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 He's definately interested. The business card idea is a bit more on the "professional relationship" side of things, but the information on the card and the purpose of giving it out is what's important. To reaffirm, yes he's interested.
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 Thanks, Lovegod. I've suspected that he might be for a while, but I've never really had an opportunity to investigate without coming across as a stalker. This truly fell into my lap. Well, maybe. I guess we'll see what happens at my show tomorrow night.
Trimmer Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 Of course, every business card has contact information on it, and everyone knows that. The fact that he pointed out "it has my contact information on it" was as close as a shy guy can come to saying "Please contact me" without saying it so directly.
spookie Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 He is without a doubt interested! I'd say he was so professional in the way he asked you to contact him because, after all, you were in a professional situation and he likely didn't want to cross any lines. If I were you I woudln't have invited him out but not to something so specific because he may be busy that night, or woudln't want to come for some other reason that isn't not wanting to see YOU. But hopefully he'll come. Get to know him, take it easy, be friendly, try to have a good time! If nothing else you may find out you have a cool neighbor.
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 If I were you I woudln't have invited him out but not to something so specific because he may be busy that night, or woudln't want to come for some other reason that isn't not wanting to see YOU. *scratches head* So... what you're saying is that you wouldn't have invited him out, or that you wouldn't have invited him to something so specific? Also, are you saying he would want to come if it were only to see me? Or that he wouldn't want to come if it were only to see me? In any case, he has responded twice now and said that he'd like to be there, and even joked about it being his first experience with this type of performance. I am going to pursue it from a friendly angle for now. I'll report back tomorrow with developments! Thanks for your responses!
spookie Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 *scratches head* So... what you're saying is that you wouldn't have invited him out, or that you wouldn't have invited him to something so specific? Also, are you saying he would want to come if it were only to see me? Or that he wouldn't want to come if it were only to see me? In any case, he has responded twice now and said that he'd like to be there, and even joked about it being his first experience with this type of performance. I am going to pursue it from a friendly angle for now. I'll report back tomorrow with developments! Thanks for your responses! Whoops! Typo there. I meant I would have invited him, but to something less specific, which would be more difficult to decline. But it sounds like he plans to come to this, so you have nothing to worry about! Enjoy!
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 Whoops! Typo there. I meant I would have invited him, but to something less specific, which would be more difficult to decline. But it sounds like he plans to come to this, so you have nothing to worry about! Enjoy! Gotcha. I thought maybe that's what you meant, but I wanted to be certain. And I see your point. If he doesn't make it, I doubt I'll try to contact him right away, just because I don't want to be seen as pushy. Besides... it's not like I won't see him again. ;-)
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 Update! Not only did this person come to my show, he was the first of my guests to arrive, and he eagerly offered to help us take down our set when we were finished. He left shortly afterwards, but it was encouraging to know that he probably only came to the show to see my band's set and not for the show itself. Before he departed, he told me that he was about to leave to go on vacation until January 1, but that he wanted to get together when he came back. Am I wrong to interpret this as interest? :-P
sumdude Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Update! Not only did this person come to my show, he was the first of my guests to arrive, and he eagerly offered to help us take down our set when we were finished. He left shortly afterwards, but it was encouraging to know that he probably only came to the show to see my band's set and not for the show itself. Before he departed, he told me that he was about to leave to go on vacation until January 1, but that he wanted to get together when he came back. Am I wrong to interpret this as interest? :-P Sounds like a good start..
norajane Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Update! Not only did this person come to my show, he was the first of my guests to arrive, and he eagerly offered to help us take down our set when we were finished. He left shortly afterwards, but it was encouraging to know that he probably only came to the show to see my band's set and not for the show itself. Before he departed, he told me that he was about to leave to go on vacation until January 1, but that he wanted to get together when he came back. Am I wrong to interpret this as interest? :-P ???? What else would you think it was if not interest?? The guy's interested.
spookie Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Update! Not only did this person come to my show, he was the first of my guests to arrive, and he eagerly offered to help us take down our set when we were finished. He left shortly afterwards, but it was encouraging to know that he probably only came to the show to see my band's set and not for the show itself. Before he departed, he told me that he was about to leave to go on vacation until January 1, but that he wanted to get together when he came back. Am I wrong to interpret this as interest? :-P Of course it's interest. I think you need to get some confidence though.
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 ???? What else would you think it was if not interest?? The guy's interested. Well, the interest could be merely platonic. But I suppose it's silly of me to have asked. Thanks!
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 Of course it's interest. I think you need to get some confidence though. Fair enough. Thanks for your reply.
Trimmer Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Not only did this person come to my show, he was the first of my guests to arrive, and he eagerly offered to help us take down our set when we were finished. He left shortly afterwards, but it was encouraging to know that he probably only came to the show to see my band's set and not for the show itself. Before he departed, he told me that he was about to leave to go on vacation until January 1, but that he wanted to get together when he came back. I swear to you, when I made my first post (about how everyone knows what a business card is, so the fact that he pointed out that his had his contact information on it was notable...) I had typed in an additional comment about how "hopefully I can come" really translates to "I'll be there early to get a good seat, and I'll be waiting for you afterward so we can talk again...", and that he was just trying desperately to stay casual when he said "hopefully..." in an offhand way. I took that comment out because I didn't want it to play with your head, in case he didn't actually show... Am I wrong to interpret this as interest? Of course it's interest. I think you need to get some confidence though. I agree - relax and enjoy; enjoy the feeling of having your head in the clouds, but keep your feet on the ground. Don't lose yourself here. He's not interested because you happened to hit a random lucky long-shot chance. He's interested because you are who you are, he noticed, and he wants to learn more. Stay calm, remember who you are, and move forward with confidence in yourself.
Author birdmadgirl Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 Thanks for your reply, Trimmer. The optimist in me had a similar interpretation of the "hopefully..." comment, but again... as it applies to me, I can sometimes analyze things to the point of oblivion. In the few moments I've been able to remain objective, it does seem very obvious that he's interested. It is more difficult, though, when the individual in question is unbelievably shy. Not shy in an offputting way, though. I find it absolutely adorable to hear him stumble over his words when he's speaking to me. As we were standing outside the club Saturday night and he told me about his upcoming travel schedule, he had to start over twice because he had used "um" and "like" to the point that it obliterated what he was trying to say. It is especially interesting that he does this when his career has been built on being able to avoid relying on such conversational crutches. ;-) Today, I find myself thinking about the moments when I looked in his direction from my spot onstage and found him politely bobbing his head in time to the music or smiling at me when I had solos. And it was so sweet when he approached the stage after our set and offered to help me and my bandmates take our equipment outside. I haven't been this giddy in a while.
spookie Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Thanks for your reply, Trimmer. The optimist in me had a similar interpretation of the "hopefully..." comment, but again... as it applies to me, I can sometimes analyze things to the point of oblivion. In the few moments I've been able to remain objective, it does seem very obvious that he's interested. It is more difficult, though, when the individual in question is unbelievably shy. Not shy in an offputting way, though. I find it absolutely adorable to hear him stumble over his words when he's speaking to me. As we were standing outside the club Saturday night and he told me about his upcoming travel schedule, he had to start over twice because he had used "um" and "like" to the point that it obliterated what he was trying to say. It is especially interesting that he does this when his career has been built on being able to avoid relying on such conversational crutches. ;-) Today, I find myself thinking about the moments when I looked in his direction from my spot onstage and found him politely bobbing his head in time to the music or smiling at me when I had solos. And it was so sweet when he approached the stage after our set and offered to help me and my bandmates take our equipment outside. I haven't been this giddy in a while. Aw. He sounds like a really sweet, genuine guy. I think you may have a winner here. Relax and enjoy.
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