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Sad sonnet.


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Sad sonnet

 

How do I get through this, the insistent sadness?

There’s not a day I don’t feel it, it’s a way of life now.

I wear it like an overcoat, with pockets full of stones,

Only time will tell, and time is all I have left.

 

 

My face is an representation of how my heart is torn,

Smiles are a rare event, and the ones that surface are forced.

Behind my eyes my mind scans my memories,

I do this reluctantly; it stabs my heart to do so.

 

 

To have loved and lost such as I have is weeping sorrow,

Days are filled with the need to cry but the lack of tears.

My heart bursts with a love overload and nowhere to direct it,

All thoughts are pain as they remember her as we were and are no longer.

 

 

I loved her with all I had, I have so much left to give but I can’t,

I am the lone inhabitant of this hinterland, a population of one.

I remember everything down to the most minute detail,

Everything reminds me of something she did, wore or said.

 

 

My life is an unchained melody, I long for what I can’t have,

I’m here because I was left here, deserted by everything I loved.

My dreams are counterfeit happiness, lasting as long as I sleep,

Waking is truth cold and bitter, nothing is as it was or ever will be.

 

 

The love she gave me was a life force, I lack that raison d’etre now,

She’s out there living a life I’m not part of, but she’s still part of me.

The hole in my soul that won’t heal, two worlds that won’t collide,

I can’t forget her, though it would be sweet emancipation to be able to.

 

 

 

 

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