Supermannnnn Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 We been together for bout 1 1/2 years. Shes only 19 and im 26. We broke up about 7 days ago. Initially, i tried to get her back until i came to this site. Then i been NC and turned off the phone that we shared. She said she wanted to be single/party etc... She also went back to her EX whom she never " GOT "... " GOT " meaning he never feel in love with her and she has a lot of pride so she always wanted him to fall in love with her. He hurt her/played her etc... She told me deep down inside she knows itll never work with him. She told me this ever since ive known her. She told me she wanted me to wait for her. After finding out that im talking to 2 other females, she came running back. She always buys me things so she came over a few nights ago and bought me a bunch of nice clothes. But i gave it back to her... She told me shes ready to drop everything and be back with me. But in my gut, i felt that she only came back with HALF her heart. Half wanted to still be single and the other half to be with me. I told her no because her actions was showing me how much she still wanted to party and be single... she went home. When she went home she called me and cried all night telling me how shell commit suicide if i leave her. She said shell drop it all for me. How im always in the back of her mind. How i haunt her... And how much she wants everything to be like it was before. How shell dump her EX NOW... I basically told her " NO " and that im pursuing this new relationship with the other female and she went crazy............ But deep down inside i still wanted her back. BUT I ONLY WANT HER BACK WITH 100%... Not half... What should i do? Why is she doing this? Just as i was healing, she pops back in my life and i gotta start all over again. Its hard for me to move on with someone else because im always thinking of her. Any advise?
oppath Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 How the hell could you possibly move on to someone else after 7 days? At most you can have gone on one date in that amount of time and that's not enough time to "start" anything anyways. If this girl broke up with you to be single, you know as well as I do that she means "flirt and date and maybe hookup with other men." Do you want someone who would break up with you for that reason? She's young. She does need to do that. You need to walk away and heal and find someone who is ready for an adult relationship. She's 19. She's not ready. However, you should not be trying to move on to other women or use them as a ploy to get your ex back. You aren't ready, 7 days after you were dumped, to date someone. It's going to take you some time, a couple months, to be ready to date, let alone a serious relationship. In that time, by all means, flirt, meet new people, hook up, go out with a girl or four CASUALLY, but to even suggest that "omg I can't move on to someone else"...why more on to someone else so soon? What's the rush? To prove you are desirable?
Freddy Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Sorry but get rid of her, when she turns 21 you'll be here again.
LakesideDream Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Cake-eater, Cake-eater, Cake-eater! Like so many of each gender, your ex GF wants her cake on the table, and wants to eat it too. I am so tired of these people. You are right to let this one stay gone.
Lee725 Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 We been together for bout 1 1/2 years. Shes only 19 and im 26. We broke up about 7 days ago. Initially, i tried to get her back until i came to this site. Then i been NC and turned off the phone that we shared. Keep up NC. What she is doing is playing with you and she will continue to do this while you allow her to. She said she wanted to be single/party etc... She also went back to her EX whom she never " GOT "... " GOT " meaning he never feel in love with her and she has a lot of pride so she always wanted him to fall in love with her. He hurt her/played her etc... She told me deep down inside she knows itll never work with him. She told me this ever since ive known her. She sounds selfish, "he didnt fall for me, so i am going to work my hardest to make that happen"..... then what? "i've got him so there is no more fun in that i had better move to the next challenge!". uummm i would have bailed at the first conversation about her even wondering why her ex didnt fall for her. This time was about you and her, this kind of conversation about him should have been irrelevant (well in my view). She told me she wanted me to wait for her. After finding out that im talking to 2 other females, she came running back. She always buys me things so she came over a few nights ago and bought me a bunch of nice clothes. But i gave it back to her... She told me shes ready to drop everything and be back with me. Wait for her?? while she goes out and parties?? She has some real head issues going on here, maybe a better way of putting it is "ownership" issues, does she think that she "owns" you and she can put you on the shelf untill such times that she is ready to "play" with you again? She is freaking out because if someone else is playing with her "toy", she might loose it, that is the reason she is running back at the first sniff of you talking with someone else. But in my gut, i felt that she only came back with HALF her heart. Half wanted to still be single and the other half to be with me. I told her no because her actions was showing me how much she still wanted to party and be single... she went home. When she went home she called me and cried all night telling me how shell commit suicide if i leave her. She said shell drop it all for me. How im always in the back of her mind. How i haunt her... And how much she wants everything to be like it was before. How shell dump her EX NOW... Of course she only came back with half her heart, it was only a week ago that she told you she didnt want a stable relationship with you. She could not have possibly gone from the complete "confusion" about what she wants (relationship V partying) to absolutely knowing it is you she wants in one week! she has had 1 1/2 years to work out what she wants, She doesnt want you, but she does not want anyone else to have you. The suicide guilt trip. I am not going to get started on it, but it P***ES me off when people use a serious subject like suicide as a tool to try to manipulate someone back into their lives. She dumped you a week ago and now she plans to kill herself because you refuse to be treated like a toy? PLEASE.......... SHE IS STILL WITH HER EX NOW?????? Oh my Gosh, this girl has some issues, she is going to kill herself because she is now with her EX who she wanted so depserately to be loved by, but while she is trying to convince him to love her, she wants to be with you? I basically told her " NO " and that im pursuing this new relationship with the other female and she went crazy............ But deep down inside i still wanted her back. BUT I ONLY WANT HER BACK WITH 100%... Not half... What should i do? Why is she doing this? Just as i was healing, she pops back in my life and i gotta start all over again. Its hard for me to move on with someone else because im always thinking of her. Any advise? Please do not persue another relationship just yet, give yourself time to heal. If that is what you need to tell her to get her off your back then go for it (although i do not condone Lying). Dont take her back FULL STOP.... There is something a little unsettling about this girl and like another poster said once she is 21 you will be back here. Take some time for you honey, be true and honest to yourself about what you deserve and surely SURELY you deserve someone who is committed to you completely. It is going to take a lot longer than 7 days to heal, but we are here and LS is a great place to off load. Keep us informed and good luck Honey.
icebreaker Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Reading this post screams of one thing.... Histrionic Personilty Disorder. Everything she is doing suggests she has bigger issues than you are aware of. My guess is everything was going great until she knew she had you wrapped. That's when they look for another challenge. And run off and play Only to return once they conquer someone else. They are addicted to the drama and attention given by others. They lure you in with sex and gifts only to spit you out when you are wrapped around their little finger. Keep in mind they prey on people with low self esteem and usually stay with those who don't really care about them. I suggest NC for the purpose it is intended. That is to break you away from her.
Author Supermannnnn Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 Thanks for all the replies... I have been NC since she called me last wednesday.. Today is sunday. 12/9/07... She called me last night again " SAT " and i rejected her call until like the 15th time... She said what are you doing and i said i was sleeping... Then she said ok then ill let you goto sleep.. And i said bye and hung up. Shes told me how she cant sleep at night cuz she thinks about me... We broke up for almost 2 weeks... My heart is starting to heal. There are days when i hurt very bad but today was ok.......... At least now i dont even get the urge to call her anymore... I cant even picture us ever being the same again.......
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