4givrnt4gtr Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 So my SO and I went to his building xmas party last nite. I met some of his friends, and hanged out with others we've gone out with before. Well i guess first i had to clarify that he and I had not defined our relationship yet...but still.... When he introduced me to one of his neighboors he introduced me as his "friend". I was mad! We've been going out for 6 months now...i am most definitely not just his friend. He goes "oh hey! this is my friend xxx" I was like whaaat?? uh uh. I took the guys hand and said "hi, i guess today im friend xxx" the guy seemed to also think it was weird he had said friend since we had been kissing and hugging all nite long. My SO immediately said "nahh she's my girlfriend"... THe weird thing about that is that before he had been talking about me to his other neighboors, about how we met, how much he likes me, how he even got us "matching" bracelettes (up until last nite I didnt realize it meant we were together but apparently thats what they mean...no wonder he gets mad when I dont wear it!) ANyway the thing is.... Later we talked about it, he was a bit tipsy but I still had to talk to him. I told him i did not like him introducing me as his friend because clearly we are much more than that. He asked me how I wanted to be introduced and if I wanted him to introduce me as his girlfriend. I said yes and he said that a girlfriend was also a friend so technically he didnt get it wrong. I said i didnt like it and to never do that again. So bassically I should be ok now...but i still cant let it go....and i dont want to beat a dead horse nagging him about it. Specially cuz until last nite we hadnt discussed our status. But still, "friend" seemed pretty....blah...although i dont know what else he could have said... Also, tonight we are going to my office party...so how should I introduce him??? Help?
12asdfg Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 introduce him as your friend and when he complains tell him that if he wants to be your boyfriend then he has to ask you out formally. hopefully, then he will ask you and then there will be no more questions about your status.
Kamille Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Let it go. You can still play with it and introduce him as your friend at the party. But let the rest of it go.
tanbark813 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 He asked me how I wanted to be introduced and if I wanted him to introduce me as his girlfriend. I said yes and he said that a girlfriend was also a friend so technically he didnt get it wrong. I like this guy. I would just let it go if I were you. If you two hadn't defined your relationship yet then I can see him introducing you as his friend. It's easier to say "friend" and do damage control later then say "girlfriend" and run the risk of scaring you off if you didn't want that title. Granted, 6 months is probably long enough to assume the title but he was just playing it safe. Plus, if you two had never had "the talk" up until that point then it's the fault of both of you. It's not just on his shoulders. so how should I introduce him??? Well you got your panties in a bunch for him not saying "girlfriend" so unless you say "boyfriend" then you're just being a hypocrite.
curiousnycgirl Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Interesting I introduced by b/f as my friend, and he was upset too - what is up with that?! I just think of b/f and g/f to be somewhat juvenile terms, we are 42 and 51 years old for goodness sake! It's just a word! Seriously! What else should one say? Significant other? Other half? Better half (not going there)? People get so uptight over stuff that I just don't understand. I agree with Tannie (I usually do) you got your panties in a twist - get over it!
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 I just think of b/f and g/f to be somewhat juvenile terms Woooah that is the exact same thing my guy said way at the beginning when we started dating. Interestingly enough when I talked about that here, i was told he was just playing me and to dump him. (thank god I didnt...we've had an amazing time together so far) But thanks guys...see this is why i ask you all...you help me get back down to earth Thanks
Lauriebell82 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 I don't blame you for being upset, I would get pissed if my boyfriend introduced me as his "friend." However, you guys talked about it, he agreed to not do it again, case closed. He is going to start getting pissed off if you can't let it go. Also DON'T introduce him as your friend just to piss him off. Be proud of him and introduce him as your bf..because you are proud he is! But, overall just let it go. He did it once, you corrected him, case closed. If he keeps doing it, then have a talk with him, but chances are he probably doesn't want to have "the talk" again so he probably will introduce you as his gf from now on.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Interesting I introduced by b/f as my friend, and he was upset too - what is up with that?! About that...the reason why its upsetting is because the relationship you may have is a lot deeper than just a friendship, so when you call your...whatever boyfriend, significant other..whatever you wanna call it, "friend" it feels like you're demoting him and he might as well be just another guy. (thats how i felt anyway) But i guess thats just insecurity..... haha figures.
tanbark813 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 It's just a word! Seriously! What else should one say? Significant other? Other half? Better half (not going there)? My mom (58) introduces her bf (early 60's, I believe) as her "gentleman friend".
oppath Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 I can see how this is annoying but I think you made it too big of a fight. In that situation, smile and say "girlfriend actually" to the person you are introduced to. Then later, calmly say "I'd like for you to introduce me as your girlfriend in that situation. It makes me feel close to you." or blah blah. He'll get the picture. No need for this to be a huge deal. On the other hand...6 months is long enough to discuss "is this a relationship and do we see this becoming serious." If you don't see a future, why is this a big deal? If you do see a future, don't be afraid to clarify your relationship. It's been long enough. And I used to introduce my gf as "my special lady friend" sometimes. Haha. She actually love it for a while.
Recommended Posts