Constantly reminded

[Sanslatete]

Another lament -

 

Constantly reminded

 

Constantly reminded by the smallest things, my mind never gives me respite,

The car she drove, the clothes she wore, the songs she liked, her voice in my head,

My dreams haunt me with vivid images, I believe I’m back there, then I awake,

The heartbreak is fresh every morning, just like it all happened the night before.

 

Walking through the streets I remember the places we went, there are so many, avoidance is impossible,

The cafes we had coffee, the shops we browsed around, the benches we chatted on,

Every one a splinter under my nail, a dagger to my heart, broken glass on my bare feet.

Should I decide to avoid the streets of recall, I can’t avoid the things in my head,

 

She still wanders the alleys of my memory, my heart, my soul, my life,

Her perfume wafts through the air as a phantom of pain, I wish I could forget,

Her image is seared into the backs of my eyelids, my brain tattooed with her face.

Every little thing so inconspicuous, is a harbinger of sadness, a plucker of heartstrings,

 

My brain is made up of a billion pictures, a unremitting slide-show of what I had and lost,

Rainy days, sunny days, windy days, summer days, winter days, autumn and spring days,

Every one reminds me, every one hurts me, my heart wounded by a reign of blows so painful.

A casual remark by a stranger, her name in a magazine, music on the radio, an advert on tv,

 

Nothing is without her, everything contains her, she is the world around me, within and without me,

An invisible umbilical cord attaches me to her though she is oblivious, she doesn’t care,

My love is eternal and I wish it would die, it goes on and on, continuing my torment.

Her life goes on as usual, I am no longer part of her thoughts or plans, I am the past,

 

As close as we were we are now distant, it’s hard to accept when you still feel love,

That she’s so devoid of emotion or thought for me yet I still love her like I always did,

My emotion is rejected, my love is a relic, my memories are history, my heart is broken.

I just wish it was all a dream, this part as I write of my feelings, my pain, my dreams,

 

Waking from this would bring so much joy to my heart, it would burst in a thousand reds,

But I know it’s the truth, the lies have been told, the deceit was real, I died in the summertime,

Getting past this is the best I could ask for, until I go out into the street of memories again.

 

John Frehley Dec ’07

[shayna]

This poem speaks of my situation beautifully. My heart is in pain every minute of everyday. Hang in there!

[BalancenLuv20]

You are a gifted writer my friend...there is something to be thankful for...I could actually feel your emotions pour out of that poem......best of luck my friend in your quest to be happy again and traverse along the lonely road to recovery...

[Sanslatete]

Thank you, I just wish this wasn't how I felt. I'd rather write about clouds and bunny-rabbits LOL x

[SmileyFace82]

Mate that is superb. I can absolutely relate to every single word of your poem... I feel you pain.

 

Although i look forward to reading your poem about clouds and bunny-rabbits...

[Slippy72]

Nice read. And the thing is, one day you'll be writing a poem about clouds and bunny rabbits with all this behind you.

[confusedneighbor]

spot on.. I feel EXACTLY the same way.