Magnatolia Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Hi all, I am working on some exercises and one of them requires me to say hi to a couple of people a day. My problem with saying hi is the following: 1) What if the people don't see me? Should I just say hi so they look then smile and continue on? I'm not too bad if we lock eyes, but it seems that if I am deliberately going to draw their attention by saying hi, then I should have something else to say. Ladies, is this the best thing to do? And do you recommend just saying hi as a friendly way of building my confidence and ability? Any specific tips?
Kamille Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Hi all, I am working on some exercises and one of them requires me to say hi to a couple of people a day. My problem with saying hi is the following: 1) What if the people don't see me? Should I just say hi so they look then smile and continue on? I'm not too bad if we lock eyes, but it seems that if I am deliberately going to draw their attention by saying hi, then I should have something else to say. Ladies, is this the best thing to do? And do you recommend just saying hi as a friendly way of building my confidence and ability? Any specific tips? I think saying hi to people with whom you manage to have eye contact is already more then enough. I know that when I'm in the mood for interacting with strangers, I look up and look around. If I'm all caught up in my own world, and not making eye contact, I prefer not to be disturbed. But if you really want to practice saying hi to people-ladies who aren't looking up, then yes, follow up with something, even if, at first, it's just asking for directions.
polywog Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Well, right now because it's an exercise, you are obviously self-conscious and may have some goofy experiences when you think too much and say "hi". Mishaps, if you will.... not to be taken to heart. I am someone who grew up saying "hi" to people, because that was the norm where I lived in the midwest. After moving east, I've been rebuffed, and even insulted for saying "hi". It was disconcerting, and I felt a bit defeated. But it was them, not me. I was putting myself out there greeting people, and they couldn't handle the midwest friendly gesture of "hi". What I'm saying here to you is, just do it, and don't take it personally when it doesn't get reciprocated. You are practicing a new skill, one that's good, so you need to be easy on yourself and just keep on with it, and develop your intuition. It's practice. And doing it is a good thing that will eventually open things up for you. Bunnies for your courageous act...:bunny: And keep posting for support.
JCD Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 When you see people say "hi, how you doing?" then wait and if they are not open for conversation then continue on. Some of them will say, "I'm doing fine and how about you?" and those are the ones you can talk some more. Some people will not say anything back to you and that's ok. There are people you will connect with and not with others, it's part of life.
Phateless Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Just make eye contact first, say hi and smile, and continue the conversation if you like. It's surprising how many people are receptive to a simple hi.
Author Magnatolia Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 Thanks for the replies. Yeah I think this is a good way to build confidence. I did pretty well today actually. A girl smiled at me and I said hi. Normally I would simply smile back but not say anything. I worked out that I can usually say hi when the situation is ideal. Ideal for me is someone who is not preoccupied (music, friends, phone, etc) and there is few people in ear shot. Pretty stupid things but I guess a lot of people feel the same way. But yeah I don't think interrupting people just to say hi is a good idea. I did catch eyes with one lady and smiled, didn't get it back but I thought it was funny. Like 2 minutes later her partner rocked up and they left.
confused_days Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 hey dude, nice work! Well, i need to improve myself as well, i'll follow your example and try to say hi to as many people as i can from now on Also, what other exercises are you doing to help build confidence?
Author Magnatolia Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 For me, it's not about how many people I can say hi to in a timeframe but more that I can say hi when I want to. Say for example I have a **** day at work I don't want to have a quota of x number of people that I need to say hi to. I'm using a book at the moment called Date to Win for Men by David Wygant. He gives me the impression that he has a better understanding as he has been featured in a few hundred publications. Also he provides the same services for women as well so he's not just a PUA. He offers coaching for both women and men. For exercises I've only just started but it all depends on what is holding you back. I can suggest that you keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities. For example there was a girl I noticed on the train the other day. I didn't say anything but we caught each others eyes. Coincidence led to us walking along the station side by side. So I made some random comment about the trip and we ended up chatting for about 15-20 minutes. Unfortunately she has a bf but hey at least I did it Also take a look at my recent posts as I'm posting questions I get as I go along. Might be something there that can help.
Phateless Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 For me, it's not about how many people I can say hi to in a timeframe but more that I can say hi when I want to. Say for example I have a **** day at work I don't want to have a quota of x number of people that I need to say hi to. I'm using a book at the moment called Date to Win for Men by David Wygant. He gives me the impression that he has a better understanding as he has been featured in a few hundred publications. Also he provides the same services for women as well so he's not just a PUA. He offers coaching for both women and men. For exercises I've only just started but it all depends on what is holding you back. I can suggest that you keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities. For example there was a girl I noticed on the train the other day. I didn't say anything but we caught each others eyes. Coincidence led to us walking along the station side by side. So I made some random comment about the trip and we ended up chatting for about 15-20 minutes. Unfortunately she has a bf but hey at least I did it Also take a look at my recent posts as I'm posting questions I get as I go along. Might be something there that can help. Good for you! I was going to mention checking out the mystery method and attraction forums websites as those can both be a huge help in learning how to interact with women.
Author Magnatolia Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Well I haven't had much luck, but this is mainly due to the fact that I changed position for a week so the only time I see any women around is at train station and they're usually too intent on getting to the station to pay attention to people around them. Or it could just be that I'm not appealing enough to draw their attention lol. But yeah I have a problem with getting a persons attention to say hi. Like if they walk past me should I say morning with a smile? Part of me feels that this is wrong, but then another part thinks that maybe it would make me seem more confident. What do you think?
WaterTiger Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 But yeah I have a problem with getting a persons attention to say hi. Like if they walk past me should I say morning with a smile? Part of me feels that this is wrong.... Why would it be wrong to say "good morning"? Say it boldly and with a genuine smile!
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