How can I beome a player?

[carlos1223]

I was just wondering how I can get laid. I am a college freshmen and I havent even kissed a girl yet. I heard that everyone gets laid in college cuz everybody gets drunk and goes to parties. The thing is, im a shy quiet guy with "nice guy syndrome" and I have a hard time meeting girls. So I was thinking of joining a frat or something so I could go to more parties. How can I get more girls to like me and want me?

[oppath]

You aren't going to find many people here advising you on how to be a player. That is contrary to the goals of LS. Dating and getting laid, however, we can assist.

 

A frat is one way to meet people and be more social. It's not guaranteed to get you laid. You will have access to women but quite honestly, you can have access to those same women and not be in a frat with better social skills. A frat is not a bad way to go because it does force you to meet and interact with a lot of people. You are forced to get over your anxieties.

 

Otherwise, play IM sports, find some kind of service club at your school that has lots of female participants.

 

Start chatting up everybody at every opportunity. One thing I'd advise is to take your time on the dating and getting laid part. Try to transform yourself from an introvert to an extrovert. That doesn't mean not having quiet time. But you are honestly looking at a 2-3 year journey. Most players underwent that journey. What I am saying is don't get frustrated if you don't date or makeout right away. It will happen, but it is unreasonable to have an expectation of a different girl every week. If you try to be social with everybody, even guys, over time it will pay off.

 

Also, ask DUDES out, not on dates, but to hang out. Invite yourself along, etc. If you can get used to calling a guy and say "want to chill," it makes it 100 times easier asking that of a woman. If you get nervous calling a guy friend you don't know that well, work on that aspect before moving on to women. It sounds counterintuitive but the point is you are improving your general social skills and lessoning anxiety.

[get.mos]

dahling, don't focus on trying to get some. doing so will only add to your frustration. it will happen with time, and when it does, you'll be ready for the experience, and it will be much more rewarding.

[oppath]

dahling, don't focus on trying to get some. doing so will only add to your frustration. it will happen with time, and when it does, you'll be ready for the experience, and it will be much more rewarding.

 

this is not true. Did I evenetually lose my virginity? Yep. First kiss at 20. didn't kiss again until I was 22. Lost my viriginity at 22.5. Didn't have sex again until I was 25. It was not just happening with time. At 24 I realized "I am missing out on a part of life" that I wanted. It was very difficult to get dates and initiate relationships because I had a 6-8 year delay on everyone else. In really subtle ways, that would make it more difficult for me. It took work and was quite a painful journey to learn how to date.

 

I only wish I had started when I was 18. It will not just happen with time. I agree, don't put the pressure on yourself to get laid, that only compounds it. But the OP is shy and seems to feel anxiety around women. He needs to address those things now. His life will be more fruitful if he does.

[Phateless]

I was just wondering how I can get laid. I am a college freshmen and I havent even kissed a girl yet. I heard that everyone gets laid in college cuz everybody gets drunk and goes to parties. The thing is, im a shy quiet guy with "nice guy syndrome" and I have a hard time meeting girls. So I was thinking of joining a frat or something so I could go to more parties. How can I get more girls to like me and want me?

 

It's a long process, but you have to be someone they want to be with, someone with something to offer. Start with no goal other than to talk to people. Just go have conversations. Make sure you talk to one new girl each day (don't try to win her over or ask for her number, just TALK to her) until you become more comfortable around women. This will be a huge help. Other than that, just hang out with your buddies and go places where women are.

 

There are websites that can help, but I can't post them in public (thanks tony) and I can't pm you because your PMs aren't active yet.

 

-get in shape!!

-go salsa/swing dancing every week - most colleges have clubs (GREAT way to meet girls and no pressure)

-convince yourself you don't need a GF

-gently tease and make fun of girls when you talk to them

 

that should give you good head start

[pgam]

Well, it all starts with an attitude.

 

An attitude of, "OK, Who Cares?"

 

Men have a different take on the world at large than women do. I know, you're thinking, “Wow, and this is supposed to help me how?” Wait a second and keep reading.

 

 

I'm going to start out your lessons with step one. How to capitalize on how we, men, see things differently from women. I'm going to show you how to capitalize on this knowledge and make yourself intriguing to them, make them attracted to you. This is a paradigm shift from what you have been lead to believe is the way to capture a lady's attention.

 

Women want a few things out of life, these things have not changed from the time beginning. The fashions change, the status in society change, but when it comes down to it, women want pretty much the same things they've always wanted. A woman desires an alpha male, a man who can look at a situation and be the strength, no matter what. This intrigues her to no end, she is captivated by a dominant male personality. I'm not talking about a guy who is abusive to her, but a guy that gives her a sense of security.

 

 

How often have you seen an attractive woman that was cold, hard and thought “Wow, what a brat?” She is so hot, yet unapproachable. Every desire in you wanted to approach her; she's beautiful, poised, to the naked eye every man's desire. However, watching the way she handles the men that attempt to approach her, you shrink away, not wanting to be another of her “victims.”

 

 

Now here's the attitude part. Don't be like every other guy that attempts to collect her number or email address. Intrigue her. Do something that will captivate her attention. It's a change of attitude. See yourself as the prize, not her. Be honest and approach her with, not a line, but a promise to tell her something that no one has ever told her before.

 

 

She's heard a thousand times how beautiful she is, how stunning her eyes are, how lucky any man would be to be her date. Forget that pile of junk. Simply walk up and intrigue her.

 

 

Let her know that, while most men buy this outer facade of 'I'm cool, I've got it together and I'll select you, not you select me,' you're not fooled for one minute. Be frank, approach her and tell her, “Sweetie, I'm not fooled” When she asks you what you are talking about, tell her you're willing to bet her that you are about to tell her something no guy approaching her has ever told her.

 

 

Make her wait, make her ask you what that might be. When she does ask, take a pause and then finally tell her, “While most guys buy into the air that you give off of the hard, cold woman, it's really hiding that there's a very sensitive woman inside. Someone makes a negative comment and you act like it doesn't bother you in the least. However, you stew on it and re-think the whole situation over and over. Your outside act hides that there is really a very sensitive little girl inside and most people don't get the opportunity to see that part of you.”

 

 

Now just move on to talking about how women play men, the pick up scene and the like, letting her realize that you are an insider that “gets” the whole thing. Do this with the attitude that not only are you on the inside, but you also don't care whether you get to know her more. You're the worthy one, not her.

 

 

Women like to make the attraction of men a game. For them, it makes them the prize and the men attempting to pick them up not worthy. It builds their self esteem and actually brings them that bit of security they seek. When they come across a dominate personality male, it is intriguing to them and they become interested, especially when the male “gets” the act they are putting on, and acts as if they could care less whether she is interested in her or not.

 

 

It's something they desire, to be desired. However, when the object of interest seems to be uninterested, not concerned, it creates a new challenge. No longer are they, the attractive woman, the one being pursued. Instead, they are almost being ignored. This does not happen enough and they are intrigued, whether they want to be or not. Now, this is something that they must have. How on earth is this one guy not trying every trick in the book to make me his? What is so great about him that he has this attitude of “Ok, who cares?”

 

 

Most guys do the same old tired stuff and complement the woman, trying to make themselves attractive this way. However, when you are the confident one, when you are in the driver's seat, it throws them off and they can't help themselves and start to pursue you.

 

 

This technique will work in nearly every situation. Whether it's a cold meet in a club or bar, a first meet on a date for drinks or coffee, or an approach of an online dating profile, develop this attitude and you shall see yourself becoming more attractive to the opposite sex. You get it, they realize it, and it intrigues them.

 

 

 

Anyway, that's enough for now. I don't want to give you too much at this point....

 

 

 

Unless, carlos1223, you desire more. If so, let me know.

[Woggle]

Be completely heartless with women. The less you care about certain women the more they want you. They want the prize and you have to make them keep chasing it. Whatever you do thought don't fall in love. Save that for a woman that is attracted to the nice guy side of you.

[Trialbyfire]

Women want a few things out of life, these things have not changed from the time beginning. The fashions change, the status in society change, but when it comes down to it, women want pretty much the same things they've always wanted. A woman desires an alpha male, a man who can look at a situation and be the strength, no matter what. This intrigues her to no end, she is captivated by a dominant male personality. I'm not talking about a guy who is abusive to her, but a guy that gives her a sense of security.

 

This part is accurate for most girls/women. The balance of the post refers to girls/women who either have low self-esteem or don't know their self-worth and can be hooked by the ignore, chase me tactics.

 

You'll find the ones who know themselves, will also know what they want and will walk away, rather than pursue a guy who plays this type of game. It's a tactic used by a lot of guys.

 

Men don't bother with this. They have the confidence to back up that sexy alpha maleness.

[Lauriebell82]

Becoming a "player" isn't a great way to go. You sound like a nice guy, I don't think sleeping with a bunch of random skanky girls is going to make you happy in the long run. Like Oppath suggested, becoming more outgoing and social will help you meet more people, and then in turn, more girls.

 

To me, some dude who's trying to get me into bed is a total turnoff. The only girls who really go for that are slutty soriority girls who just sleep with anyone. That's stupid not to mention dangerous. College is a fun time, you should enjoy it. Oppath gave you some real good advice and I agree with it. Make freinds with some guys, who can get you into the "circuit." Go to parties, meet girls. But again, try not to make the purpose and main girl to hook up with as many girls as you can. IMO I don't think nice guys can turn into players..nor should they. Players are real jerks and most girls don't go for that kind of thing. Become more social, join clubs and sports. You could join a frat, but again, there are ways of meeting girls and having a social way without being in one.

 

Get out there and meet people, college is supposed to be the best years of you life, so enjoy them!!!

[get.mos]

this is not true. Did I evenetually lose my virginity? Yep. First kiss at 20. didn't kiss again until I was 22. Lost my viriginity at 22.5. Didn't have sex again until I was 25. It was not just happening with time. At 24 I realized "I am missing out on a part of life" that I wanted. ... I only wish I had started when I was 18. It will not just happen with time. I agree, don't put the pressure on yourself to get laid, that only compounds it.

 

well, i guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

i didn't share my body until i was 24. and it was a great experience, because i was ready. didn't fold under peer pressure, wasn't concerned about my performance. just enjoyed sharing my body and he sharing his in a most intimate way.

 

i kept a journal back then, and in re-reading it, there's a funny sentence i wrote about the experience: he's having a hard time keeping up with me.

 

personally, i think if one focuses on getting some, one can lose focus on just enjoying the experience. and then one wonders why forums like these are so popular...

 

it's friday night; anyone gonna shag styrofoam tonight?

[sumdude]

Concentrate on becoming the best YOU that you can be. When you find that you are happy with yourself, have goals, generally feel good about yourself and life things fall into place. Do work on becomg more social. Talk to people around you. Professors, the checkout people in the stores. Older folks, you can learn a lot from them Get into some study/dicussion groups. Group activities in general. A frat might be a good idea but don't make sex the goal.. think of it as a nice bonus in life and not a need. I realize that at your age it's probably on your mind at least every other minute LOL Just relax. The more you concentrate in it you'll become more frustrated Don't try to become someone that is against your basic nature. I've had freinds who are 'players' and guess what... they're not necessarily any happier as people than those who have fewer experiences. In fact many player types (not all, but a lot) are trying to fill some empty part of themselves not unlike addicts. Plus the stress of juggling names and numbers and multiple relationships is a pain.

 

You want to be someone that girls like to hang out with.. be funny, have good conversations etc. Learn how to flirt. Learn how to spot body language signals. I was a pretty late bloomer. I can look back now and see just how many opportunites I missed from girls who were interested mainly because I didn't know how to read signals and I was too damn worried about it.

 

As far as pgam's post. I think it's fairly true but the point isn't a game tactic but to gain understaning of attraction and motivations. A man who has his life together, is busy and has a lot of options is attractive. Not because he's necessarily playing games but because he sees himself and his time as valuable. Just because a girl is 'hot' doesn't mean she's worth the time and effort. Look at Britney Spears, attractive, rich, etc.. would you really want to be involved with that mess?

 

Keep in mind that people around you are more like you than not.

 

And it's so true, as soon as you stop looking for it, caring that much about it and obsessing about it... suddenly there it is.

[brothermartin]

You dont need to be a playa, man. You just need to relax, be honest about what you want from a girl and from yourself, and then try to find a girl that wants the same thing. Meaning sex. Some girls actually respect and are attracted to honesty. I've found that what makes for a good sexual encounter with the opposite sex is if the woman is comfortable with you.

[tomwiz]

Google mystery method, a friend of mine has become semi-educated in his ways, and if you're after meaningless hookups and stuff like that, that mystery guy kind of knows what he is talking about.

[Phateless]

also consider taking a speech/communication class. it will teach you all sorts of stuff that works wonders for sales and social skills. you'd be surprised...

[sb129]

Where is KMT????- finally he has someone he can take under his wing and advise!!

 

Horniest Man Alive--- YOO HOO! There is a fella here who needs your guidance.

[underpants]

Well,

 

I might be an unusual girl. I am a sucker for the sweet, quiet guy, in the corner.

 

Save all that cocky, arrogant bs for insecure girls that need to be validated by a show.

 

OP you will meet all types of people. You will meet some in class and at other social gatherings and some just on campus walks.

 

Eventually one will notice you. I hope she is a nice girl and you can appreciate her.

 

Don't turn into someone you don't like for the sake of losing your virginity. That is just tragic.

[Lauriebell82]

Well,

 

I might be an unusual girl. I am a sucker for the sweet, quiet guy, in the corner.

 

Save all that cocky, arrogant bs for insecure girls that need to be validated by a show.

 

OP you will meet all types of people. You will meet some in class and at other social gatherings and some just on campus walks.

 

Eventually one will notice you. I hope she is a nice girl and you can appreciate her.

 

Don't turn into someone you don't like for the sake of losing your virginity. That is just tragic.

 

I totally agree with this. Don't try to be someone that you are not, girls DEF. wont go for that. Like I said before, get out there and try to meet people. I know that there are events on campus that you could go to in order to meet people. Get out there and do it! You'll meet tons of girls, but don't make the main goal just to get laid. I think you'd be much happier in a relationship, and I'm sure that getting out there and meeting people will allow you to meet girls who want that too. If you go get trashed at parties you are most likely to just find a bunch of skanky soriority girls, and I think you are better than that. Good luck!

[Lizzie60]

I was just wondering how I can get laid. I am a college freshmen and I havent even kissed a girl yet. I heard that everyone gets laid in college cuz everybody gets drunk and goes to parties. The thing is, im a shy quiet guy with "nice guy syndrome" and I have a hard time meeting girls. So I was thinking of joining a frat or something so I could go to more parties. How can I get more girls to like me and want me?

 

If all you want is to get laid, sweetie, get an older woman... you'll be initiated by the best...

 

No need to get drunk or doped... just be yourself... you need to relax man! What's the hurry?

[FormerNiceGuy]

The trick to being a player is to be in the presence of players. If you hang out with players all the time, you become like them. You've seen how much your friends influence you. You absorb the most from the 5 people you spend the most time with. It sounds shallow, but ever since I've only limited my friends to players, I've gotten laid with women ever since.

 

Tell me who you walk with and I will tell who you are.

 

The power of a player is that he doesn't waste his time on a girl that doesn't want to keep him. He doesn't let rejection affect him. He merely moves on.

 

The key to succeeding with women is stop overanalyzing. Guys always analyze and think to themselves, "Does she like me? She did that..that must mean she likes me, right?"

 

Don't do this.

 

Instead, think to yourself. "I don't give a damn. I'll make a move and THEN I'll find out the quick and easy way."

 

It's better to go for it and get rejected than to never know at all. Wishing, wondering and guessing hurts more.

 

Dont' worry about finding the right girl. Concentrate first on being the right man.

 

Don't be fooled by these people who tell you to just "Be yourself". Because a loser who just "becomes himself" is still a loser. If you want to be a king, you must stand out from the others. What are you doing in your life to stand out from the others?

 

I look at my friends who get laid all the time. They are with beautiful women all the time. What do they have? They have confidence, maturity, charisma, ambition, and courage. They listen. They are good listeners. They are financially secure. They are physically fit. They emanante power. They have a good sense of humor. They know how to flirt with women. They have a "great personality". Women call them romantic and sexual. They aren't insecure. They aren't obsessed about showing off the things they have. They don't care what other people think about them. They are needless. They know they don't need to stick with one woman. In thier mind, they know and have self-respect. They treat the girl like a princess, but with the authority of a prince.

 

Whenever you deal with women, NEVER treat them above you. And NEVER treat them below you. Treat them the same as you. As equals.

 

Probably the most underrated skill in being a player is your skill and aptitude in conversation. Players have a magnetic personality and they can talk to anyone. They can talk to strangers. They don't have to just talk to a girl. They can talk to anyone and carry a conversation. Guys who DON'T know how to talk to "regular people" can't suddenly expect to speak and seduce beautiful women right off the bat.

 

Guys try to find an easy way out. They want a pickup line. They want a pickup line book.

 

Pickup lines are for guys who don't know how to talk. And pickup lines that work are for stupid women who fall for these pickup lines.

 

Women aren't that stupid. They can tell if you're being insincere.

 

No.

 

First, you learn to talk to regular people and learn to keep normal people interested. Then, when you can do that, then you go for women that you want and the only difference you add is a tinge of sexuality.

 

Learn to talk to normal people and then when you can do that..and keep them interested..then go for women...

 

The man who thinks he can't get a girl and the man who thinks he can get any girl...is both right. It's all in the way you think.

 

Women can smell desperation. Remove this desperation and you remove all obstacles.

 

I know everything I am saying will contradict with the advice of most women. I know there will be people who will disagree with what I say. But I go with what I've seen has given me results.

 

I used to be the guy who used to sit on a bench and get advice from women....and then I realized that their advice never got me laid. Then I saw the player who gave me his advice. He was always with beautiful women..and the advice he told me totally went against everything that other women have told me.

 

And then I learned a cardinal truth.

 

Never ask advice women about advice about women. You don't ask fish how to fish.

 

Women..and the game...is like a ton of presents under a Christmas tree. When a child looks for a present, she sees the gift that stands out from the rest.

 

What makes you stand out from your competition?

[CD111]

Whoa whoa whoa, the last thing you want to do is tell a girl she is totally putting up a front and is a scared little girl inside. LOL, if some guy had the audacity to tell me that I would probably laugh in his face. Now, there is definitely some truth in the fact that women want a man who is there equal, at least that is the way I feel. However, if you tell a chick that 1) she is just totally putting up a front with her persona and then give her the impression that she wants an equal what are you saying about yourself. LOL. There is also some truth about intrigue and not seeming desperate. Women can smell desperation and insincerity like dogs can smell fear. So get some confidence and be comfortable with yourself. Yes become an extrovert, it takes time, but learn to have a conversation with anyone, male or female. There is always something to talk about....ALWAYS. It definitely takes some times but is well worth it and a skill you can use for a lifetime. You want to get laid. First off get some trendy clothes that fit whatever your style maybe. Second, go to places where girls are and just talk to them. You are in school, talking about how freaking busy you are and how you can't believe who much the last two weeks have sucked...blah blah blah...or figure out what the girl's major is and then tell her whether you have taken a class in that subject, about a particular prof or anything she can relate to. If you can dance that is a definite plus, your task of getting laid is much easier and without as many words. LOL. Take things slow, don't expect to hope in the sack next weekend. Hit the makeout phase first and master that art. GO TO PARTIES and don't get so wasted that you end up being "THAT GUY" and make a fool of yourself at every party, once in a while is ok. It shows that you can let loose. If you do end up acting like an idiot, just laugh it off, the less of a deal you make out of it the less people will talk about it. To me it seems like all you want to do is get laid...quanity verses quality. Another big help is don't go for the hottest chick, she has every guy chasing her. Go for her not so hot yet still attractive friend and your chances of getting some increase exponentially. Good luck with that.

[fral945]

Never ask advice women about advice about women. You don't ask fish how to fish.

 

I love that line.

[Woggle]

If a man wants to find a good quality women that is worth his effort he should just be himself and be natural around women. Also take a look at the women you are persuing. Most women who have men crawling all over them really don't have much to offer beyond looks. They are drama wrapped in a pretty package. Look for women that actually have something going on besides looks and a flirty attitude. Too many men forget to look beneath the surface and end up regretting it later. If you want high quality women go where the high quality women tend to be. Like attracts like and most of the women going for jerks happen to be jerks themselves.