Jknoxville32 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Strange situation is forming. I've known this girl for a while, probably a couple years. We've never been close friends but we've joked around and gone to a movie/hung out in groups here and there just as friends. Maybe some light flirting but knowing its not going anywhere. It's always been joked that I've had a thing for her and maybe I did for awhile but I got used to the idea of just being friends and didnt think more about it. She's always been fun to hang around with. So this past weekend we're all hanging out and there are a few drinks involved. We had made some of the normal innuendo throughout the night. She turns to me and asks so when are you taking me out to dinner and us making out afterwards. I think we're joking around so I play along and she goes oh so I guess you arent and I realize she's not kidding (or may not have been) so I say sure we can go out. We end up going out last night and have what I felt was a pretty good time chatting and joking around. Here's the rub, looking back on it I can't differentiate it in any way from the other times we've hung out other than I paid for everything and we had dinner together. At the end of the night when I drop her off she's off inside pretty quickly. No plans of meeting up again or discussion about it, no awkward kiss or not kiss moment, just pull in the driveway and she's out and headed inside. Usually with her there's never any doubt so the ambiguity is both surprising and maybe telling. I've never been around her in this type of situation so maybe she's always reserved on a date in the beginning but she's always had a wild reputation and some pretty out there stories/encounters that i've heard. I went in expecting it to be unexpected and it definitely was. Those that have read my other posts know that I just got out of a whirlwind situation so I'd like to keep things light here but I was surprised at how good things went and wouldnt mind letting things ride to see where it goes. I was very hesitant even to do the date but figured it would be a good idea. So I let things sit today and didnt call. I know the only way to find out is to call and I'm thinking I will tomorrow or Saturday. I'm debating how long to wait, thoughts? Any similar experiences like this where someone seemed one way from everything you've heard and expected and didnt match up? Maybe it was a joke that got out of hand and she never meant it to go to a date scenario. Strange.
norajane Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 The night she asked about going out, she was tipsy and it seemed like a good idea at the time. But when you had your date, she realized it's not what she wants. Let it go. Yeah, call her in a few days, if that's what you normally do. But her running out of the car like that is plenty of SIGNAL that she's not interested in taking things further.
Author Jknoxville32 Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 The night she asked about going out, she was tipsy and it seemed like a good idea at the time. But when you had your date, she realized it's not what she wants. Let it go. Yeah, call her in a few days, if that's what you normally do. But her running out of the car like that is plenty of SIGNAL that she's not interested in taking things further. True and definitely a possibility. That night when she broached going out she left saying she'd call the next day to let me know when she was off work. She did and that was when she was sober so she continued on with it. If she hadn't called I was going to let it go. She was in a pretty good mood on the phone and we joked around, it didnt seem like she wanted to get off the phone or not talk. Not denying that what you said is possible, it definitely is. Just wanted to throw out a bit more info to fill in a gap I left.
norajane Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 She may have wanted to give it a chance, and I'm sure she turned it over in her mind throughout dinner. But, like I said, she ran out of the car, and that's the bottom line, for whatever reason, it wasn't working for her. She didn't SAY it because that would have made things awkward and she didn't want to do that, and she didn't want you to feel rejected because she does like you, but not in THAT way. I have done exactly this before, so I'm speaking from experience.
pgam Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Do as you are doing, play it cool. Don't call her til Saturday, if you even do. Sure, she was a bit tipsy, but she made the first move. You had a "normal" time out until the end, when she bolted. However, there is attraction between you two and she acknowledged it by asking you to ask her out. Now, she's had second thoughts. Let her. Let her stew on it. If I were you, I would not call her. She made the first move, now let her make the second. If this is intended to be, let it happen, don't push it. Remain friends as you were, or let it develop into something more, but do not push it. PLAY IT COOL As you mentioned, you are just out of a whirlwind situation, so just let things happen as they will. However, you will only make matters worse, especially if she's having second thoughts, by calling her. Just let it play out as it will. By doing this you will appear needy or clingy. She will appreciate this and you will come out smelling like a rose. As you probably know, women don't like guys to act like wusses. Playing things cool will put you in the driver's seat, if you want something to happen. If you want to remain friends, then by playing it cool like this, she won't feel threatened by you seeming to be needy.
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