mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 these are the previous threads ,http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t136778/ and yess I am still seeing him... I am loathe to report that I am still hung up on my internet lover. We meet for sex and then he leaves. Its total sensory overload for me because he is here for a few hours, ravishes me and leaves. Then nothing, doesnt call for a few days, he just disappears - its like I don't exist afterwards. When he leaves he also never even says "I'll call you", he just kisses me goodbye and slips away. Yesterday I asked him when I would see him again (we usually see each other once a week) and he said "Oh I dont know about the next 2 weeks, I have a big project on that I have to get in" I said "ok well I'll see you next year" and he said "I'll try and see you before then" "try????????"
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 I'm hooked on all the kissing and joking around and play wrestling and whispering and laughing.
johan Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 I can do all that. Maybe you should be hung up on me instead.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 You know what its like? its like that Seinfeld episode where someone has "no Hand" like no control over the situation. I mean i do , but I dont he has me hooked!! I want to see him all the time, not just this..... its just too much all at once and then nothing.... nothing til my next fix.
johan Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 To me, it's your ego that makes you feel this way. The little rejections trigger this reaction. Through all that, it's kind of hard to tell whether you actually like him. I'll bet you aren't even sure, because I doubt you know him all that well.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 NO, I really do like him. Thats the thing. I have feelings for him in this situation that at the moment is a sex only thing.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 He must know that I like him too. He has this cute thing where he bites his bottom lip i dont know why i like it but i do. I told him yesterday how cute it is, and turned it into a game in bed where if he bit his lip id kiss him. Its sounds dumb i know:love:
johan Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 I can bite my lip, too. If he's playing little games like that, then he probably likes you, too. But I'd recommend you get all that on the table before you go any farther. If he doesn't want to be with you more, then you're going to feel like hell a lot. Kind of like you do now.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 I can bite my lip, too. If he's playing little games like that, then he probably likes you, too. But I'd recommend you get all that on the table before you go any farther. If he doesn't want to be with you more, then you're going to feel like hell a lot. Kind of like you do now. Likes me how? like a girlfriend or a sex friend? I suppose i initiated the game, to see how he would react- and he liked the game, and kissing me when i said how much i liked him biting his lip, saying "why do you like it (cheeky) ( i feel so dumb saying this). He also likes this game where he sucks on my tongue so hard i think im going to lose it. Its very funny and I start screaming but yeah a bit gross... hope no ones eating...
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 I can bite my lip, too. If he's playing little games like that, then he probably likes you, too. But I'd recommend you get all that on the table before you go any farther. If he doesn't want to be with you more, then you're going to feel like hell a lot. Kind of like you do now. I asked him about 2 weeks ago and he said that he was only after sex. Bad relationships previously , a divorce, blah blah blah. We have got a lot more familiar since then and i guess im fooling myself thinkning that will change and am just looking for signs.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 and then after seeing him yesterday and all of that, i send him 2 text messages today and he doesnt even reply..........
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 To me, it's your ego that makes you feel this way. The little rejections trigger this reaction. Through all that, it's kind of hard to tell whether you actually like him. I'll bet you aren't even sure, because I doubt you know him all that well. no I don't know him that well ,but what i do know, I like.
norajane Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Stop chasing him so much and asking when you're going to see him yadda yadda. That won't bring him any closer, if that's what you want. He doesn't want closer, or feeling like he's responsible to anyone or feeling like he owes you responses, etc. You started out as sex buddies, and that's how he likes it...without strings. When you start throwing the strings around him, he wants to detangle and get away, until he's ready for a bit more nookie. Either enjoy it for what it is, or end it if you are developing feelings for him. Because it's not likely to change. When a guy tells you what he thinks (he only wants sex), it's best to believe him. You should also believe guys when they say "I'm not good enough for you" and "you deserver better" and "I'm bad at relationships", etc. Who knows better than they what they're really like?
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Stop chasing him so much and asking when you're going to see him yadda yadda. That won't bring him any closer, if that's what you want. He doesn't want closer, or feeling like he's responsible to anyone or feeling like he owes you responses, etc. You started out as sex buddies, and that's how he likes it...without strings. When you start throwing the strings around him, he wants to detangle and get away, until he's ready for a bit more nookie. Either enjoy it for what it is, or end it if you are developing feelings for him. Because it's not likely to change. When a guy tells you what he thinks (he only wants sex), it's best to believe him. You should also believe guys when they say "I'm not good enough for you" and "you deserver better" and "I'm bad at relationships", etc. Who knows better than they what they're really like? I have totally screwed it up- but hey what does it matter when im not going to get more than sex buddies anyway. I rang and asked him if he just says he is busy as a palm off and he said well if i didnt want to see you i would say so. Well a lot of guys wouldnt - they would just palm you off. So yep Im certainly throwing those strings around arent i? Aunty Flo is here and i am feeling very unwell and irrational.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Either enjoy it for what it is, or end it if you are developing feelings for him. Because it's not likely to change. When a guy tells you what he thinks (he only wants sex), it's best to believe him. I have definately developed feelings for him particularly after yesterday. I wish i didn't feel this way.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 We started talking about yesterday and he said "With you its different, its nice".
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 i just feel so out of control- i have my period, i feel like a monster and im scaring this guy away with my crap, and its 6 months tomorrow that mum died and i just feel so out of control like im always losing everything, and now im scaring him away. I need to go for a very long drive as many kms as possible away from him.
Elyssa Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 If you really want to have any chance at turning the sex arrangement into a relationship you need to stop sounding so needy and hung up on him. You realize this yourself and I understand it may be hard to internalize these feelings and doubts you might have, but if you start demanding things he's not ready to give or taking the fun away of your encounters, he's going to stop seeing you and you're going to be the one getting hurt. Have fun when he's around and don't wait for him to take you on a date because he's already said plainly that he just wants sex. Instead, suggest it yourself. Try to invite him to do things outside your bedroom occasionally so that your relationship begins to acquire a little more substance. Give him a few weeks and then bring up the subject again. If he still gives you the same answer, I'd consider him a hopeless case and then you'd have a choice to face: enjoy the no-strings-attached sex or move on to look for someone who can make you happy. -E
stillafool Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 It sounds like this guy doesn't want to be the BF type and has made it pretty clear. He may be seeing a lot of girls and making them all feel the way he does you. I would not be so available for him. If a guy doesn't want to be with you when you're on your period that's a bad sign. You should ask him to come over and then spring that on him when he wants sex and see what his response is.
SuperFantastico Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Mishy, i thought we already went through all this. You are an addict. Drama's fun sometimes, but come on.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 If a guy doesn't want to be with you when you're on your period that's a bad sign. You should ask him to come over and then spring that on him when he wants sex and see what his response is. No thats not what happened
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Mishy, i thought we already went through all this. You are an addict. Drama's fun sometimes, but come on. thanks...........
SuperFantastico Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Well im not sure what you are looking for people to say. You know hes not interested in you. You know hes either a) playing games or b) really dosnt want anything but sex. The only reason you like him(and i use the term loosely) is because you were insulted by the fact he's only using you for sex. You dont go out with him. You probably havnt learned much of anything from him. Hes frustrating you and you are stuck chasing him to get on even footing. Like 99.99% of the people have said this to you AND you've even admitted as much. So obviously you like that he makes you feel like crap. You like that he makes you feel anything other then boredom. You arnt in love with him, you are saying that so you can tollerate the fact that he is hurting you and that you love it. I dont think this is a healthy thing, but i can really help you anymore then that. Its your choice what to do in the end.
Author mishy Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 thats helpful. I know it sounds like its drama, but its more than that. I spoke to a telephone counsellor yesterday who said its to do with the recent death of my parents. I know its screwed up.
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