sevendaysoflonely Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 My bf of 5 months broke up with me 2.5 weeks ago... Details here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t138016/ I plan to call and meet up with him in a month after I've given him time away from me (No contact)... At that time, should I a) just act as a friend, don't mention anything about the relationship, see if he shows any signs of wanting to get back together? Since a lot of people say that your ex would never want you back if you don't look happy and desperate...? OR b) straight-up ask him if he thinks we still have a chance? If there's anything we could work on? I still want to be with him and I miss him a lot...
randuff Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 I would just play it cool. Not mention that you want to get back, kinda like the first time you probably met. See if the spark gets rekindled by him just enjoying your company. Flirt and have fun but I wouldn't just flat out say I want you back. This may not be good advice, I dunno, I am by no means an expert at this by any stretch of the imagination. So how did the meeting of the 2 of you come about anyways? Did you call him or he call you?
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 i am going through NC right now with my bf...we are in a break.. but its hard to do NC because we go to the same school and we see each other every day at lunch...but let me tell you what i do.... well i try so hard to not look at him and make no eye contact...i can see fromthe corner of my eyes that he looks at me...i act like im happy(not a bad actress lol) i tlaugh and joke with my friends...i barely talk to any of his friends...i dont call him or anything.....you see me now i am jumpy and happy..and he has noticed that.. he calls me blocked and stays quiet...he text me the other day pretending he was someone else and was asking me if i had a boyfriend and if i was talking to someone else...and asked if he could call me....when you see him it looks like i was the one who asked for the break because he looks sad all the time.. he looks down when i pass by and stays quiet...he tryes to get near me its kind of funny... our break is due at the end of next week..it was for 3 weeks..if we start talking again i am going to act like nothing just as a friend not mention anything about us unless he does...and that is what you should do also...start fresh..pretend that that is the first time you talk to him...dont look to desperate..act like me...flip the switches make him look desperate and wondering about you....i really didnt think it wouuld work but its going preety well...although im just pretending...lol
Author sevendaysoflonely Posted December 6, 2007 Author Posted December 6, 2007 Thanks for the replies! randuff: Well he called to initiate it for our first date ...I just feel like if I did that then I'd go crazy thinking whether or not he's going to give me another chance. Do I just do it step by step and gradually ease it in? Or should I meet him one more time, if he's still not interested, then go NC and never try ever again? Move on? I don't know if I could stay a friend, he probably doesn't want that. Do I just call once in a while just so he knows I'm still thinking of him, but not too much as to push him away? Da_1_n_OnlyN3na: Thanks for the tip but it won't work in my case because I don't see him at school or anywhere, really. Only if we call each other up to hang out.
randuff Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 If he initiated this meeting then I would go. See what his intentions are and if they are to try again, well there you go. If not then find out what the motives are and then go no contact if he doesn't want to be together.
Author sevendaysoflonely Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Oh I have to clarify that there was no initiation on his part after the break-up. I misunderstood, I thought you were asking about the first date we ever went on.
norajane Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Why do you think he'll want to meet with you in a month? NC isn't about getting people back. It's about helping you to move on by distancing yourself from the person, so you don't have new texts/conversations/whatever to dwell on and agonize about. If you can manage to stay without contact for another month, I'd say keep going and open your eyes for someone you might meet who actually does feel a spark for you and wants you, rather than trying to get someone back who's lost the loving' feeling.
Author sevendaysoflonely Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Thanks for the response norajane Of course in theory the NC moving on thing works... it's just very difficult to implement in real life. I think the reason I want to meet one last time is to either try 1 last time to see if we could salvage anything, talk it through so I can find out why he broke it off and gave up on us.... OR ease into a friendship without talking about our relationship ever again. I see it as, if I'm not talking to him now anyway, there's really nothing much to jeopardize if in fact he doesn't want to continue with a friendship or try again. At least I tried, right?
Recommended Posts