Hurtingsomuch

[mo.m427]

On October 27 while away on business, my wife tells me that she likes the way things are and is not sure she want to be with me anymore. I do not know what to do, she now has it convinced that our marriage of 11 years, 13 together is a mistake! She says that it is her, but yet she has made references to things about me. I do not understand,why she want to just let everything go. We have NEVER had any discussions before about her "feeling unhappy". We always looked like the happiest couple when others saw us. I was away on business to help our family, which she encouraged, and now, that we had never been away from eachother for 3 weeks, my business is closing and I have no job, and she tells me that she will go to her moms with our two girls 5 and 2 on x-mas and leave me to be just like she did on new years! She won't go to counseling together, and keeps saying that she will go, but has done nothing and now she says once the hollidays are over, she is going to take the girls and move to her moms! Why would someone not share their feelings and then just say"surprise", and by the way your a nice guy, I am not going to try becasue I already have, share no emotion,affection, or intamacy, and just say its over. I do not know what to do, its been a number of weeks now, all i do is take care of the kids and lokk for jobs, while she works, and when she comes home late from work everyday,its like everything is fine, but when the kids go to bed, she does, probably to avoid me. I am so hurt,lost and lonely.

[curiousnycgirl]

I am so sorry you are going through this. There is really nothing you can do to "make" her talk to you, go to counseling, or change her mind. All you can do at this point is work on yourself.

 

Are you in individual counseling? I think it would really help you.

[mo.m427]

i went to counseling once. did not feel a connection with the couselor, and only feel that I am paying somebody to tell me to give her space when a close friend can do that.