raidsniffer Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 This question had arised while talking to a friend about past relationships and how and why we are the way we are today. I am aware that past relationships have affected my personality and the way I am today. I don't know if it's because I've learned to let go or simply learned to block or forget but it seems like my past relationships are taking a toll on me. I'm a lot more guarded and closed, always fearing to get into a relationship because of the emotional and physical strain of a break up. Is there anyway to rid of the past and become somewhat normal again or is this just something i have to deal with?
jayelle88 Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 well, i think its completely normal to be more cautious about getting into a relationship, you've been hurt and you dont want it to happen again. i think its ok to feel that way too....as long as it doesnt become so overwhelming to the point to where you can't even date anymore. if thats the case, then you need to re-wire your mind to think "ive been hurt before, yeah, but that just means it wasnt meant to work out for me, and that there is something more out there waiting for me that wont ever break my heart." if your too afraid to look for it because you dont want heartbreak again, how are you ever going to find that special person? its all a matter of making lemonade out of life when it throws you lemons:) i know this is easier said then done and all, but trust me, i know how u feel, i just got dumped and it was a 4 year relationship. its VERY hard, but u cant sell yourself short, you gotta get back out there and conquer the world of love:p someone somewhere is bound to give you what you want, need and deserve.
superm0nkey Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Go see a counsellor, it isn't healthy for you or your future partners to be carrying around baggage about the past. After getting dumped by my ex-fiance I made the decision to talk to someone about it and it really helped me get some perspective on the situation. Something else good came out of it - I began to understand that the painful experiences I'd had in the past (even the ones unrelated to romantic relationships) were affecting my life in the present day. You might just find out that the reason you're guarded and closed off is deeper seated than just being burned by ex-partners. Good luck!
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