jayelle88 Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 Ok i feel kinda weird posting my problems online, but none of my friends can really relate to me and you people seem ever so nice, so im gonna hope for some feedback on this.... heres the deal, my b/f and i just broke up about 3 days ago. hes 20 and im 19, we are both in college, but im at home and hes about 2 hours away.this was the end of a 4 year relationship:(... and i was the dumpee if u cant guess. we have both gotten along so well throughout the years, we never got "bored" of each other, most likely because we were best friends for about 5 years before we even started dating, so ive known him for quite sometime(whats that, like 9 years total? lol) he always had a crush on me back when we were kids, and we ended up going out in sophomore year when i found out the little sweet heart waited from 6th grade up til 10th grade for me to be his first girlfriend, and first everything else as well. im saying this just so you can get the idea of what kinda guy he is, not at all the type who would "hit it and quit it". we lasted throughout the first year of college with him being away, and we did well even though the road got kinda rocky(i have a tendency to get jealous at times..) summer comes after and he wasnt even home for that, he was gone for three months straight in england staying with his family and working so he can bulk up his application for an internship the following summer and can be able to say hes worked abroad somewhere else. all is good, i stay loyal to him the whole time and vice versa.....we talked on a web cam and i went through so many phone cards (built up a thousand dollar phone bill...but thats another story...)but it was worth it. he comes home and i see him for three weeks then he goes away for school again, but we were fine those three weeks, until the day before he left. he said he wanted to break up, simply because he could not be physically with me, and he felt it wasnt fair to me because i am loyal to him yet hes leaving me all the time. we go through with the break for about a month...but talk everyday, well i more or less cried everyday when i talked to him, told him i missed him and didnt want to lose him, for about two weeks straight. the month passes and i go up to visit him (stupid me) and he asks me back out again. i said yes of course, but asked him multiple times before hand if he was certain, and wasnt just asking me because im there at the moment. he said he was sure and he wanted to be with me, that he had a hard time sleeping and studying for his classes. we go out for another two months, and we talked but not as frequently as i like, although everything was ok. he comes home for thanksgiving, we hang out almost everyday and have a great time when we are together. then he leaves to go back to school for anther three weeks before coming home for x-mas. we talked the first three days after he left and then suddenly just stopped for two days straight. i was nervous and worried cuz i had a feeling he may be forgetting about me or something, so after those two days i called him and kinda of unintentionally bitched him out. i was upset cuz i found out he had made time to go to parties, go on his myspace and facebook, but didnt even take out 5 mintues out of his day to call me. i told him all i wanted him to do for me was call just for those 5 minutes, tell me that your thinking of me, that you miss me, and you love me and i wont complain, because i do the same for you and i always make sure that you feel wanted by me. that didnt go over well, a day after he broke up with me again, and said he doesnt think i can handle the distance( i was like yeah sure). he says that he most likely wont be home for the summer coming up again but out of state, and that he wont be home for 1 of the three weekshe has off when hes home over x-mas break cuz he will be in england visiting the family again. i knew all of this before hand, but i was trying to make it work and told him i dont mind waiting because i love him and the person he is, so its worth it. he said that he just doenst think its fair to me cuz i want to spend time with him and him with me but he just cant give it to me, and that right now he just wants to be on his own and travel or what not, experience life by himself. he said that hes not doing this because hes unhappy, but because we are seperated at the time and will be until we both graduate college or one of us goes to live with the other(which is something neither of us can do). he said he never gets sick of me and loves the person i am, and has felt this way since he was twelve. i said if your happy, why do you want to risk losing it? he said that he could stay with me until we're both like 28 or so, and be happy this whole time with me and he would probably marry me but that we most likely wouldnt last if we both dont experience other people. yep, hes getting the grass is greener syndrome. he said he thinks we'll probably end up going out again in the future, and he sees himself marrying me. he said he knows im good to him and that he most likely wouldnt get into anything long term with anyone until he was ready to be married. he says he still loves me with all his heart and hopes that we can get together after this "period" in our lives is over, and i was like what? 4 or 5 years from now? and hes like it may not even take that long, it could be a year from now for all we know, and he said hes doing this to try and build a love between us that will last forever, and he wants to see how we both take the seperation. i said its gonna kill me to know your dating someone else, and he said yeah but we both know she wont mean as much to me as you do. ok, enough with all the "he saids". ANYWAYS...hes going to be home again in about a week and a half now, and said he wants to get me a x-mas present still and see me before he leaves for his trip, but i told him we should have NC and see how long the feelings we have for each other actually do last. with my luck, he will most likely come and see me even though i said not to, and any progress i have made coping with it will crumble. i dont want to let him go, i was very happy, and i never felt the need to see other people, i know a good thing when i have it and i give all the love i can when im in a relationship even if im young still. i am loyal to a fault as well:( what do i do? how do i handle this? is NC really a good idea? has anyone else ever experiened this before where you break up but both still love each other? and do the reasons he gave me seem sincere or do they seem like bull****? and lastly, does it seem like theres actually a chance for this to work? has anyone had any sucess in a situation like this? cuz i know it will take me a long time before im completely healed, and i want to deal with this in the right way. thank you for reading all of my crap, i know it was long i truly appreciate it:)
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