sungrl Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 i feel like my b/f's personality changes when with his family..he does a lot for his mom and family..but i just notice his personality changes when i am there or when its a family type event like a kids birthday...it almost seems like he shuts down or something and becomes tougher. The thing is..he hardly pays me ANY attention when at these events. I know he is not supposed to be all over me but when speaking to girlfriends they still say their b/f will hold their hand or finger at random times and smile at them and sit near them and not leave them completely alone. if we are eating a meal at his family's place..when he is done he will just get up and enter the tv room and watch tv..i feel like he could invite me and say im watching tv, want to? something like that..and there is a reclining type chair in the room with the tv and a couch behind it...i usually follow him and he sits in that reclyning chair and im on the couch behind him..it almost feels like im alone..he rarely every just sat next to me on the couch to watch tv Another time was at a bbq..i still wasnt comfortable being alone with a whole bunch of his family members at a kids party..i didnt even know where he went but it turned out he went outside with his brother and this other guy to smoke cigars..i came out and sat in an opposite area BY MYSELF and it took him probably 5 minutes to probably come over and sit next to me. he has also made embarrassing comments about me that almost make me feel he is putting me down. one time when driving to his house i ask him if he wants to go to dinner and he said ok..im waiting in the car and he comes out saying my mom made dinner but we can still go out if u want, i really dont care..since he said that--i said lets go out..i kind of wanted alone time. He said so i will tell her you dont want to eat her(in a sarcastic way) i said dont say that--that is rude..cant you just say we had plans? he comes back out a few minutes later saying his sister is leaving so that means she has all this food and noone to eat it with. So at that point i said no problem, lets eat with her. But i said--dont say that mean thing to your mom. 10 minutes later as i am reading my book--my b.f says she doesnt want to eat here, she just is b/c she heard you were eating alone...i looked at him with rage..i couldnt believe he did that and made me look like a piece of crap. The mother just said dont worry, i dont believe him and he said its true..After the meal when his mom wasnt around..i said dont ever do that to me again..and he said he didnt want to hear it and im overreacting..i said you made me look like a piece of sh*t and he said no he didnt..basically he never apologized for that but to me--he was intentionally making his g/f of over 2 years look bad and he was trying to degrade me in some way.
polywog Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 I dunno... sounds like he is being loyal to his family over his new grown-up life with you, his gf. And it sounds as if they're manipulating him, possibly.... not healthy. If I were You I'd try my best to bring it to his attention in a way that isn't so confrontational that he needs to choose between you and them, and see where that goes. He'll be one lonely immature guy of he stays loyal to them at the expense of his SO.
Author sungrl Posted December 6, 2007 Author Posted December 6, 2007 they aren't manipulating him at all..he always did a lot for them..the family isnt really doing anything to them..but he does place them higher than me.
Recommended Posts