sandra Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. we've had our ups and downs, mostly downs. We're incompatible if you will, but love each other very much. Deep inside I know that my family and friends and relative would never have approved us getting married. After a big argument, I broke up with him. This is not the first time I broke up with him. We break up and make up a few days later. However, this time, When I asked him if we can talk about it and work on it the refused. He was so adamant about his decision, i couldn't beileve it. I tried everything I could to try and get him to give me a second chance. He totally refused. During our now 2 weeks break up, I've realized all the things I could have done differently with him. I saw my flaws. I told him that and that I'll make him happy if he can only give me atleast a week to show him that I can really make it work. He didn't even want to talk to me. Finally, I changed my strategy and started saying okay, I can respect his decision but that I still want him in my life atleast as a friend. He really wanted no contact atleast for a little while. But, I figured if I get out of his life now, then he'll never want me back. So, the other day, I asked him if he can bring me some advil because I wasn't feeling well( I just wanted to see him). He came around and we talked, he said that he's deeply affected about all of this but that it had to be done....... that I deserve someone who'll make me happy, somebody stable and blah blah. I wanted to say, I don't care if you're a bum on the street, I still want to be with you. But I held off because that kinda talk seems to drive him away. BUt, before he left, I invited him to a football game I had bought tickets for. He was like "sure thing"! I'm probably setting myself up, he probably doesn't care about me anymore but I just needed him to remember one last great time we spent toghether. Can anybody give me any suggestion. I think I'm desparate at this point
countingufosagain Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 you say that you are not good for each other and have mostly down times, why would you want that back? With regards to your question, it's your desperation that is causing his resistance. Negativity or lack of self during a break up isn't attractive and the constant calling or asking to be together smells of desperation. You need to get your life back in order and be happy to offer value to anyone. Give him time to miss you and work on yourself in the process and maybe he will start remembering the good times. The controlling behavior of asking him to bring Advil and going to a football game will not be a catlyst to bring him back, just the opposite IMHO. I wish you grace in your current situation.
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