sedgwick Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 It's been particularly tough the last couple of days. I really miss him. I keep wanting to have a conversation with him, the kind we used to have when we talked all night. Those nights were magical to me and I thought they were to him too. The thing I wonder most at this point is if he misses me. Does he want me more now that it looks like I've moved on? Does he look at my myspace and see all the pictures I've put up of me having fun? Has he REALLY just forgotten all about me? Has he found someone better? I want to think that the NC thing might have made him miss me. I want to think that any girlfriend he had would be intimidated by me and he'd compare her to me, but maybe he's with some musician and totally happy. It seemed as though he really didn't have the time or energy to have a relationship, so I hope that wouldn't all change for some musician girl. I wonder if he'd be willing to have a relationship if it was based solely around music and music was all they ever talked about. When I think about it realistically, I feel fairly sure he's just traveling and playing music nonstop, but there's this girl he knows that I've just arbitrarily decided he's with. He never talked about her, really, except to tell me when I met her that she was in a band and she was nice. So I'm all, oh, of COURSE she's better than me, she has a guitar, blah blah. I'm trying to talk myself out of these thoughts but it's so hard. God I want to think he at least misses me sometimes.
SYRACUSE03 Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 I've followed some of your posts and you are doing great! We all have setbacks and all wonder. These days will come and go. Keep doing what you are doing. Posting the pics, etc. one thing you did say was "any g/f he had would be intimidated by me" is an awesome line. It shows self confidence which is part of getting your power back. She is not better than you. Replace all that negative garbage with something positive. It sounds corny but we all need to stop beating ourselves up and we need to start today. Things may not be easy right now but keep moving forward even if it is at a snails pace. You say, "God I want to think he at least misses me sometimes." We all do and I'm sure he does at times. I've posted my thoughts and expectations about NC and I truly believe that my view is logical. It may not be right but that's what I see personally in my breakup. Wishing you well and just know that brighter days are ahead for all of us. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1432380#post1432380
SmileyFace82 Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 That is exactly how i feel Sedgewick, apart from that i have now deleted her off my facebook and i know she is dating the guy who got in between us. Maybe she has moved on to something better suited for her, i don't know. But i know she is happy and i feel like ****. Should i be happy for her? I mean i loved her and i still do to be honest. I should wish her the best... and some days i do and other days i feel exactly like you do now... how the hell am i feeling like this and she seems to be having the time of her life. it's been about 3 months now... wow... i mean time has flown by. She's still with this guy so i really just have to accept that she's happy and that she hasn't thought about me for one second. I have been given one great piece of advice though from a close friend though. He said... "Look, maybe she's with someone right now and she's happy and not feeling that loneliness that you do at the moment but there will be a point in the future where she will be lonely, and on her own... and she will start thinking about the good times she had with you... by that time you would've moved on, you will be in a better place and you will be happy." Now, i don't know what's going to happen with her and this guy, but i do know that i am much better than i was a month and two months ago. I do still think about her constantly hence the reason why i deleted her off my facebook. I did the same as you where i just stuck photos up of me having fun but to be honest, i had enough of playing games and "hoping" that she looks at these photos... i've just given up. A part of me now and again just wishes she thinks about me... just a fraction of how much i miss her would be nice... but i guess i will never know. She's moved on good and proper and i'm trying to move on... although much much slower than she has... I don't know why i'm writing all this... but i guess it's just to let you know that i feel exactly the way you do and you're not alone in all of this. Tomorrow is a brand new day... let's start it with a smile on our face.
amythan Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 I am feeling exactly the same. Difference is you follow wise advises from people here and i didn't. I was traying to stay friends, i care so much about him that i wanted to keep him in my life. I think he found someone else and he is pushing me away even as a friend. I understood it is over but it hurts to realize that he doesn't find worth it to keep me in his life. He was my buddy and i am sad as i've never been before. You are doing great and I understand how you feel. NC is the way to go, with my friendly attitude i just made a fool of myself. Stay strong.
carrotgirl Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 God I want to think he at least misses me sometimes. Of course he misses you sometimes. How could he not? {{{{{Sed}}}}
taylor3205 Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 I have been given one great piece of advice though from a close friend though. He said... "Look, maybe she's with someone right now and she's happy and not feeling that loneliness that you do at the moment but there will be a point in the future where she will be lonely, and on her own... and she will start thinking about the good times she had with you... by that time you would've moved on, you will be in a better place and you will be happy." I like this. I know I think I am having it rough (which I am), I think I will never meet anyone as wonderful, caring, loving etc as him and that he will go onto great things and I will be stuck with this heartache forever. Im sure many of us here feel like that. However the reality is, that our exes probably will go through what we are feeling right now at some point in time. It just makes you think, we are all human, and we all suffer loss at some point or another throughout our lifetime. We just have to deal with it as best we can. Everything is temporary, we come into this world alone and we leave it alone. One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
taylor3205 Posted December 6, 2007 Posted December 6, 2007 I have been given one great piece of advice though from a close friend though. He said... "Look, maybe she's with someone right now and she's happy and not feeling that loneliness that you do at the moment but there will be a point in the future where she will be lonely, and on her own... and she will start thinking about the good times she had with you... by that time you would've moved on, you will be in a better place and you will be happy." I like this. I know I think I am having it rough (which I am), I think I will never meet anyone as wonderful, caring, loving etc as him and that he will go onto great things and I will be stuck with this heartache forever. Im sure many of us here feel like that. However the reality is, that our exes probably will go through what we are feeling right now at some point in time. It just makes you think, we are all human, and we all suffer loss at some point or another throughout our lifetime. We just have to deal with it as best we can. Everything is temporary, we come into this world alone and we leave it alone. One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
brothermartin Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Hey SEDGWICK. I feel your pain. More now than ever. But my wishes are a little different than yours. I'm in the anger stage now, and my thoughts for the ex are.... well, lets just say their not what they used to be. But I am sorry that your having a rough time. I do wish, for you, that I could hug it away for you. Hang in there champ!
Author sedgwick Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 i miss him so much. how do you go from loving someone to being totally done with them overnight? i just don't get it. it's like, everything is really good, we have a lot of fun, we're into each other, it feels easy and right, and then all of a sudden i find out that everything i thought was true was a lie. what i thought was mutual was only on my part. i feel a lot of embarrassment about having opened up to him the way i did when it didn't mean anything to him -- or at least it didn't mean what it meant to me. i showed him parts of me i've never shown anyone, he saw me completely exposed and naked, and i said can i trust you and he said yes, and then all of a sudden he had to go because i wasn't a musician?!?!? i feel like i showed him so much of me and now he's just laughing at me. i don't know how you get over the kind of embarrassment i feel.
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