Nur Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 I've known this guy for five and a half years. He liked me for the first three, and we dated for the last two. The past six months we've been broken up. He ended it, saying that he needed time to mature and that he wasn't ready for the level of seriousness that we had. He's remained really close, though, since he now goes to the same college that I do and we're in the same class. We eat meals together regularly, and basically he's my best friend. I still had feelings for him the entire semester, but not desperate love or anything. Just really deep affection. I've known him forever, it seems, and we are close. Besides cuddling once in a while we have ended romantic gestures (at my request). I still give him hugs or kiss him on the cheek, but friendly. Lately, a new guy's entered the scene. (Well, several have, but this is the first one I've been interested in). The day before the new guy (a classmate of ours) asked me out, my ex asked if we should get back together. I was hesitant, since the reason he broke up with me is because he can't handle stress and pushes everything away, and problems like that don't go away in a few months. Also, he keeps waffling on what he feels for me. One week he'll say that he loves me, the next that he's not sure what he feels. That's not good enough for me; I need him to be sure. Anyway, the new guy seems really nice. He also happens to be a mutual friend that my ex thinks a lot of. But ever since we've started "dating," my ex has gotten even more flirty with me. The first time I announced we were going out together he burst into tears, but now, a week later, he's saying that he's totally fine with it and even offered to be the "middle man" between us in case there's any misunderstandings (the role of a "best friend.") He's even asked me to help him find some girls to date. His behavior seems so inconsistant. Sometimes he loves me. Sometimes he's not sure. Sometimes he's jealous. Sometimes he's overjoyed that I like someone. Sometimes he wants to be alone. Sometimes he wants to date as well. I have no idea how to read him. I know he's a really important friend to me, and I still care for him deeply, but I don't even know what I feel toward him. I just hope this situation doesn't mess everything up. I am not really sure how to handle it. I also don't know if I should proceed with dating the new guy, even though I like him, with such strange things going on between me and my ex. I don't want to be unfair to him. I just wish I knew what my ex really felt.
LovesDog Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 Date the new guy. See where it goes. He may be something really special. He may not. The reality is that your best friend/ex needs to see that you are desirable to other men and that you are willing to date them. In return, your ex should be able to sort out his feelings for you. Just don't tell him all the details of your dating, which it seems he wants to know! This would be bad and may turn him against you. It is not his business really. If he figures out that he cannot live without you, he should eventually tell you. Besides, I am betting that you are both still pretty young. Have fun and enjoy your youth! Try not to be so serious. I cannot imagine if I would've married in my early 20's. I would, for sure, have moved on...things are so different now.
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