He tell me to not write, next day he write me.

[AliciaLikesYou]

Hey,

Alicia here, with again, problem with my insecure SO.

I came to realise that it's not my fault if he is having trust issue, but because he is having a hard time trusting me because of his past.

 

So, 2 days ago, everything was fine.

He asked me to stay home with him but I said no, My friend needed me, and me only and it was planned since 1 week.

He snapped and told me it was over and told me to lose his number, to not contact him ever again, he delete me off msn.

 

He does that sometimes but next day, text me and it goes back to normal. I got used to it and I don't worry anymore.

 

But this time it's different.

 

So he snap at me, I wait.

The next day he is online (I see he added me back) and I log in a game we both play and see he is on my account. He knows I am having a hard time doing something and he decided to help me. I think it's nice so I leave a message to him on msn, saying "Hey i see youre on my account, take your time and tell me when youre done"

1h30 later, he log out of the game. Tell me *F*** yourself* and log out.

I dont hear from him after that and he deleted me again.

 

In the night, I am in this game, and i keep getting disconnected. I change my pw and write him a mail saying "Hey i changed my pw, ill tell you the new one when i see you later"

 

He reply with "told you to not talk to me, stop now i am sick of you.. etc etc etc"

 

So, I wait.. and in the night I see he deleted all his online profile. Facebook, myspace etc and that he registered to the army.

He told me before he wanted to join the army but his father didnt let him, and tonight he did.

I panic, wonder why he is destroying everything.

I go to bed.

Today, nothing.. but i see he added me back.. again.. but i do not talk to him.

 

Tonight he mail me, saying "i hope you have a miserable life"

 

And now i dont know what to think.

He keep telling me to leave him alone, which I do. And when I do, he does everything to get my attention back.

Knowing him, he does it the mean way, to make sure I will reply.

 

What does it mean? never seen him like that before.

Help me understand please.

 

Thank you,

Alicia

[Phateless]

Uhmm, he's a nut, and you can do better. Seriously, why would you want to be with someone who pulls this crap all the time? It's only gonna get worse, the longer you're with him. He's insecure, immature, etc.

 

Tell him to grow up and have fun in the army.

[AliciaLikesYou]

He is under a lot of stress right now..

And imature.. We are both young.. I don't think people are in their first relationship knowing everything...

 

I don't think someone should dumb their boyfriend when they are stressed and need their girlfriend to tru something rough.....

[Phateless]

He is under a lot of stress right now..

And imature.. We are both young.. I don't think people are in their first relationship knowing everything...

 

I don't think someone should dumb their boyfriend when they are stressed and need their girlfriend to tru something rough.....

 

This goes far beyond being stressed. You're making excuses for him because you love him. If you have to learn the hard way, so be it. I just hope that you learn from this and don't pick someone just like him as the next guy.

[littlekitty]

I agree. It's immature, disrespectful, abusive behaviour. And it's not acceptable.

 

Help him learn it's not acceptable by dumping his ass. You might save someone else the hurt in the future, and you can move on to find someone who will treat you with respect and care which is what we all deserve.

[Phateless]

I agree. It's immature, disrespectful, abusive behaviour. And it's not acceptable.

 

Help him learn it's not acceptable by dumping his ass. You might save someone else the hurt in the future, and you can move on to find someone who will treat you with respect and care which is what we all deserve.

 

She's not ready yet. She doesn't want to move on.

[littlekitty]

She's not ready yet. She doesn't want to move on.

 

That appears to be true. But she's just compounding the problem by letting him get away with it. Therefore appearing to say it's acceptable behaviour.

 

She asked what his behaviour meant, we've told her. It's up to her as to how she now uses that information.

 

I suspect you're right, and she'll wait for him to 'come around' and they'll continue in this cycle. Been there, done that myself many moons ago.

 

You can't force someone to see the light. You can only hold up to their eyes and hope they do!!

[Phateless]

He is under a lot of stress right now..

And imature.. We are both young.. I don't think people are in their first relationship knowing everything...

 

I don't think someone should dumb their boyfriend when they are stressed and need their girlfriend to tru something rough.....

 

I'm 27 years old. When I was 18 and depressed and insane, I did all sorts of crazy things, including lashing out at the people I love. One of my best buddies went through a period where he would ride the half-hour on his motorcycle home from a party, drunk as a skunk, at 130 mph in the rain. No joke! We were all going through a rough time. NEVER did anybody I know act as volatile as your bf here is. That's just a character flaw in him that will never change.

 

It's your choice whether to stay or leave, but you need to realize that this behavior will continue forever, and probably get worse. Has he hit you yet?

[AliciaLikesYou]

I'm 27 years old. When I was 18 and depressed and insane, I did all sorts of crazy things, including lashing out at the people I love. One of my best buddies went through a period where he would ride the half-hour on his motorcycle home from a party, drunk as a skunk, at 130 mph in the rain. No joke! We were all going through a rough time. NEVER did anybody I know act as volatile as your bf here is. That's just a character flaw in him that will never change.

 

It's your choice whether to stay or leave, but you need to realize that this behavior will continue forever, and probably get worse. Has he hit you yet?

 

No

but listen, I came here to ask if he needed me or not.. what what he is doing means he wanna talk to me or not.. if he wants me to fight it or not..

 

I get that what you are saying.. but, I still chose to stay with him until he goes tru better stuff..

He got arrested driving 3 months ago and his bestfriend lied about something and now he is the one with trouble.

He keeps fighting with his dad..

That's no bull**** that he is under a lot of stress, he is for real..

The main reason of me being here, is to know what the mix messages means.

[Phateless]

No

but listen, I came here to ask if he needed me or not.. what what he is doing means he wanna talk to me or not.. if he wants me to fight it or not..

 

I get that what you are saying.. but, I still chose to stay with him until he goes tru better stuff..

He got arrested driving 3 months ago and his bestfriend lied about something and now he is the one with trouble.

He keeps fighting with his dad..

That's no bull**** that he is under a lot of stress, he is for real..

The main reason of me being here, is to know what the mix messages means.

 

I don't think he knows what he wants. He sounds impulsive and irrational. If you back off for a few days and quit trying to contact him he might come back, or he might not. My whole point is that this guy is so unpredictable, nobody knows what he's up to. People with their head on straight don't get arrested in the first place. You're not ready to see it, but he's never gonna finish sorting through all his stuff and turn around. I don't know if he wants you around or not. The best way to get him to come back to you is to ignore him completely. After a few days he'll most likely be freaking out trying to get himself back into your life.