crawfishmaniac1 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 ok so here is the story. my girlfriend of 2 years is a year older than me and graduated from college and is working now. she lives and works an hour away, and we have been fine with the short-distance for about 8 months now. recently she got a new job and went to training about 4 hours away. we still see each other every other weekend or so, but this time was different. she came to visit me a couple days ago and when she got here she said she wasnt staying. she broke up with me that day in a downpour of tears and emotion. she said she didnt have any energy left to keep the relationship together and that i wasnt doing a good enough job of staying in communication. she said i took her forgranted and all that stuff. which i did. she has a hard time telling me exactly how she feels about things, so i wasnt aware of many of the things i was doing wrong. now that i know how she feels about these things i really want a chance to show her that i want to be with her the rest of my life and im willing to work through this---i just dont know how to get her to work on things too. she just seems to have given up, and i cant believe that she would throw away 2 years over a problem that can be fixed easily. some of my girl friends have said its not over and that she is doing this because she wants me to realize how serious things are and she wants me to change, but i just cannot accept the fact that its over for good. im madly in love with this girl and i want to do any and everything i can to get her back. i havent talked to her since she broke up with me (saturday) and it is now monday. I am planning on calling her on tues night and asking if i can meet her to talk. i have a feeling that she wont want to see me (its too soon). the only thing that really sucks is that she goes back to training on friday, so i feel like i have to win her back in a week. I go home for xmas break in 2 weeks so we wont see each other for about a month. we have a dog together, which we havent discussed, and she hasnt brought up picking up any of her stuff. is she really serious that she is done with me for good? or is she looking for me to change and she still wants to be with me? any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. (by the way like a week before this happened everything was pretty much ok, so this is really sudden for me. i really want to make things work with her and i would do anything to get her back) thanks everyone
SadShamrock Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 If you think she wants you to show her that you are really in it for the long haul, go to her. Make an effort to go see her this week. Bring her flowers or anything. Tell her how you feel and tell her that you don't want to lose her. Don't wait though. Honestly, don't do it though unless you are willing to commit afterwards by opening up communication with her- whether it is to be more frequent or to be more open. Don't take her for granted. I'm not saying that this will be enough to win her back, but at least you'll show her the effort.
Author crawfishmaniac1 Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 yeah im definatly not going to give up without a fight. but she is a very strong willed person, and i think she is trying to make a statement to me, but im not sure. i know she still loves me and i just dont know how to show her that breaking up isnt the way to fix things, working together as a couple is the way to make things work. i realize i just screwed up and i want her to give me a chance to show her how much i can change and fix things to make her happy. i have always thought i was going to marry this girl. from the first time i saw her i said i was going to marry her, and thats what i plan on doing. i just really want her to see how much i love her and that i will do whatever it takes to make things better for both of us.
too old for this Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Are you the only one that has "personality flaws" in the relationship? Did she try to bring this up before and you just didn't communicate? My ex broke up with me a couple of times and basically blamed me for not being enough. I did everything to get her back including trying to change myself. Wow, what a mistake. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if she wants you back, maybe you should give her time to contact you. If she's using breaking up with you to get what she wants then it's kind of a game right? Maybe you both need to be better at communicating your wants and needs to each other. True intimacy is a tricky thing. I've found that some people can't handle it at all. Hope it all works out for you.
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