bandgeek0203 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Who should be doing the calling to initiate dates, say after the third date? What do you usually do?
Dynamo Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Who should be doing the calling to initiate dates, say after the third date? What do you usually do? Uhm, does it matter? I don't think one person should be doing all the initiating - both parties should show interest, and to show interest they should take initiative.
Lovegod Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Usually the guy has to. Sorry pal, but that's life. Usually women will phone their friends, but not their dates. So if you're getting phone calls from a woman, there's a pretty good chance she's only your friend and nothing more. But occasionally, you'll luck out and get a woman who enjoys calling her date.
Krytie TV Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 After three dates, if I had been doing all the initiating, I would be about at that point where I'd sit back and see if the girl is going to give any indication that she actually cares or not. It's good for women to at least try at some point, otherwise I see them as selfish. I should note, however, that my last third date was over a year ago
LoveLace Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 After three dates, if I had been doing all the initiating, I would be about at that point where I'd sit back and see if the girl is going to give any indication that she actually cares or not. It's good for women to at least try at some point, otherwise I see them as selfish. I think this is ok. If the guy does the majority of inititating in the beginning, I think a woman should pick up on the gesture, just in a smaller form. A variety of this going back and forth would be ideal.
Pyro Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Who should be doing the calling to initiate dates, say after the third date? What do you usually do? Both sides should be calling, but it seems like that the guy will do the majority of calling, but the girl should as well because it shows the guy that she is just as interested as he is.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 why does it matter who initiates first? if both of you have a lot in common and have chemistry after the first date then it shouldnt matter. Dont make it a competition or put more in to the situation that doesnt have to be
Krytie TV Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 why does it matter who initiates first? if both of you have a lot in common and have chemistry after the first date then it shouldnt matter. Dont make it a competition or put more in to the situation that doesnt have to be OK, dreamland warning. It matters because some people have a fundamental problem with having to be the ones to initiate almost all of the time. I personally cannot stand a partner who expects me to do the calling and to make all of the plans. To me, that says that person in passive and boring/uncaring. Who wants someone like that? It's good to know your limit and your expectations of others when going in.
Dynamo Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 OK, dreamland warning. It matters because some people have a fundamental problem with having to be the ones to initiate almost all of the time. I personally cannot stand a partner who expects me to do the calling and to make all of the plans. To me, that says that person in passive and boring/uncaring. Who wants someone like that? It's good to know your limit and your expectations of others when going in. As far as I can tell, EYECANDY000 didn't say that, just that it doesn't matter who does it after the first date.
Krytie TV Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 She said it doesn't matter... I said it did. I was elaborating on her response. I tend to not get others' permission before posting.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 OK, dreamland warning. It matters because some people have a fundamental problem with having to be the ones to initiate almost all of the time. I personally cannot stand a partner who expects me to do the calling and to make all of the plans. To me, that says that person in passive and boring/uncaring. Who wants someone like that? It's good to know your limit and your expectations of others when going in. I agree as far as always having to initiates things, That is actually what my tlast thread was about. But what i am stating is that it has only been a couple of dates.. It the want to start seeing more of each other and it seems like she is alwasy the one who is calling then yes, let him know he has to start initiating things
desertguy Posted December 4, 2007 Posted December 4, 2007 That's about right, the guy usually initiates the first 2 or 3 dates, at least that's what I usually do. After that, it's pretty much even in my experience, which is the way it should be IMO. One person shouldn't have to initiate all the time. Of course I have had instances where theres almost instant chemistry, and observing these rituals and rules makes no sense, who wants waste time on games in that situation?
jerbear Posted December 4, 2007 Posted December 4, 2007 I usually do the pursuit and occasionally she would pursue after a few dates. After that it would level out to being at home so "no dates" and dates just happen.
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