AngeloWolfe Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Well, it's been a wonderful and fantastical road with my girl, but I must say something has really made me wonder. We've been going steady for quite some time, and we have not yet had intercourse yet. But... we've talked about it. A lot. We've fooled around, all the good stuff you do around intercourse that leads up to it and what-not. However... there is a slight bit of discomfort. You see, she's still a virgin. And.. I felt kind of bad because I'm not. But! I don't go into past details about it. She's very comfortable with the idea of us making love, but she is afraid that the relationship is going to be 'just about sex'. Now, I already am well aware that it's not, and it's not something we HAVE to do to be happy. But.. it's confusing the crap out of me! We get so intimate, so into it, but she starts backing up when we're almost ready. I know i'm not doing anything wrong... is it me? Or is it just the first-time nervous feet?
PuppyLuv Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 I'm sure for her its a nervous and trust thing more so than an attraction issue. I think its great that you respect her wishes and please continue to do so. For some women who are virgins, especially adult ones its hard to finally get to a place where you feel completely comfortable and open to have sex with someone. There are issues of trust like "what if its bad and he doesn't want to go out with me anymore?" "or will i even see him again after its over?". Also its something that has been a part of her identity for so long, it might be hard to change things. But if you guys are fooling and have made a commitment to be exclusive then it sounds like it will happen, you just have to just follow her cues and continue to wait.
Lovegod Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 but she is afraid that the relationship is going to be 'just about sex'. Sounds like society bull5hit programming. Being scared of sex because it'll become all sex. Here's a news flash: once you two start having sex, you'll go on a sex binge and she'll be just as guilty of initiating it. Try fingering her or eating her out first. Ease her into sex as a good thing. If she backs off about the whole eating out thing, just tell her that you've been craving it for a while
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