A few issues I have

[BaconDrips]

I also know alot of you guys are married so you can probably help me here. Before you read this, know that I am 23, and my Girlfriend is 18.

 

I'm the jealous type. Like, tonight, my Girlfriend went to watch a movie with 2 guys from work at one of their apartments. I'm naturally paranoid, so automatically I assume she is going to cheat on me.

 

I know thinking that her going to some guy's apartment with another guy and her cheating on me isn't THAT far fetched, but every time I think logically about it I can shake it off.

 

The thing is, sometimes I CAN'T think logically about it! It drives me insane to think of her hanging out with other guys. Why can't I handle that? Sometimes I really think I have some deep emotional problems that are trust related.

 

Here's an example, though. There is this kid, Sean, at her work. Last week he was telling her that he wants to learn another language(she is Russian) he knew that she took some Japanese, so he asked her to teach him some. She showed him the basic Japanese alphabet, and he balked at it, so he asked her to teach him some Russian, and he'd teach her how to draw in return.

 

Am I not crazy if I think this guy is interested in her? I expressed this to her and she flipped out. "He's just a nice guy!", etc.

 

But to me, old fashioned as I am, it just seems like a way to get to know/get closer to someone better. Like, what is a 21 year old American kid possibly going to get out of knowing some Russian? It just seems fairly obvious to me that he has some interest in her(that's where she's at right now, watching a movie at his house with another Boy from work.)

 

Am I insane? Should I not let it bother me that she's completely alone with 2 boys I don't know watching a movie? I mean, I know I should trust her, but I just cannot handle the thought of losing her.

 

The thing is, my Girlfriend is VERY pretty, but she is admittedly slightly overweight(always has been, she says) and she has low self confidence about it. Now, for me, it doesn't bother me how big she is, I love her just the way she is, but she doesn't think she is pretty. At all. Which is insane.

 

I believe she is completely oblivious to other Men interested in her, because of her low self confidence.

 

Another story. There apparently is this 28 year old guy, Phillip, who comes into her work sometimes. He has a child. My Girlfriend and he have nice conversations whenever he comes in.

 

Friday, they were talking and in passing she mentioned me. He then said "Oh, then I won't ask you what I was going to ask then, because people get jealous for stupid reasons, etc."

 

I laughed at this, and asked her why she didn't think he was at all interested in her. She STILL doesn't! She just thinks he is a nice guy, same thing she said about Sean days earlier.

 

Is she completely blind to the fact that she is interesting, funny, and pretty? And that guys like that? Should I be happy that she is like this, or what? I mean, on one hand, I guess it's nice, because then I kind of feel safer with her, but on the other hand it's really frustrating to feel a certain way about someone and then they tell you how ugly they are.

 

Back to the start though, I really wish I didn't go through all these random scenarios in my head JUST because she is hanging out with Men. Do men hang out with Women just to be friends? I'm sure some do, but do 18 year old guys? I know from personal experience that most of my friends who were girls, ESPECIALLY if they were pretty, I would always think about them sexually. I kind of blame society for the way I feel. You always hear all these horror stories of infidelity. Infidelity is the one thing in life that I don't know how I would handle. I mean, I LOVE this girl. I know I'm young, and some of you older people will laugh at my youth, but I love her as much as I think I can at this point in my life. Thinking about her marrying another man tears me completely apart.

 

I would do anything for her, and I have. I want to marry her, have kids with her, live together. I guess how paranoid I am about losing her, coupled with the intense feelings I have towards her, and a fear of losing all of that, just tend to play cruel jokes on my mind. And I really don't think she deserves a Man like me who just can be so emotional at times. Ladies, have you ever encountered a Man like me? What have you done? What did you do to quell his fears, or did you ignore them?

 

I'm not TOO experienced in relationships, so I always love outside perspective. I know cliches are abound in this post(young love, already thinking about marriage) you're all probably thinking I'm naive and immature.

 

But I know what I want! I want her. When I wake up in the morning, she's on my mind. When I go to sleep at night, it's her. I even sleep with a scarf she made me, around my neck each night. It sounds puppy dog sure but when we're together everything is just perfect. I'm torn, because I want to tell her things like this but I don't want her to think that I am emotionally instable or that I don't trust her. Because I DO trust her, I think. I just don't trust other guys, and I don't think I'm good enough for her.

 

Jeez this must be a monstrous post. Can you guys PLEASE read this for me, it would mean a whole lot.

[LovesDog]

ok, yes all boys want sex no matter what there age. from a woman's perspective, though, we really do think we can just be friends with men. i was totally oblivious when i was 18 that men were hitting on me or interested in me. i was just a happy go lucky, fun-loving, attractive female with no interest in other men. if she is your girl and she loves you, then find no reason to be jealous. if one day you actually have evidence, then move on. you said that she nice, so is she honest? sounds like she is. she is also very young. if she is honest, then trust her. moderate to extreme jealousy is really a turn off, so try to turn it off. good luck!

[BaconDrips]

Thanks. That's the thing though, she is always laughing and flirting so it gets me thinking.

[PuppyLuv]

so is she not supposed to laugh and smile? or be happy around other humans? like if someone if friendly is she supposed to frown at them or yell "hey i have a bf!" ? what do u do if women are flirty with you?