Jen17 Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Hey all, I really need some advice, I'm not sure what to do. I have known this guy for a few years now, but about 12 months ago he text me and asked me out. He is about 23 years older than me. I told him I wasnt interested, but I was still prepared to be friends with him. He agreed to this. He had been going through some tough times and I gave him my support. He still texts me at least every month for a chat etc, and I thought he had accepted being just friends. But when I bumped into him the other week, he acted really strangely. He kept walking past me and his friends obviously knew who I was as they all smiled at me. He also seemed to be really nervous which is really unusual behaviour for this particular guy. I bumped into him again recently, and he said Hi, but things are just so awkward. I feel bad if I dont speak to him, but then if I do does it look like im interested? His text messages have been increasing recently too and the number of kisses at the end have started to increase. I just would have thought by now he would have moved on to someone else. Does anyone have any ideas what I should do or how to act when he is around? Or why this guy is acting like he is? Thanks
Dynamo Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Hey all, I really need some advice, I'm not sure what to do. I have known this guy for a few years now, but about 12 months ago he text me and asked me out. He is about 23 years older than me. I told him I wasnt interested, but I was still prepared to be friends with him. He agreed to this. He had been going through some tough times and I gave him my support. He still texts me at least every month for a chat etc, and I thought he had accepted being just friends. But when I bumped into him the other week, he acted really strangely. He kept walking past me and his friends obviously knew who I was as they all smiled at me. He also seemed to be really nervous which is really unusual behaviour for this particular guy. I bumped into him again recently, and he said Hi, but things are just so awkward. I feel bad if I dont speak to him, but then if I do does it look like im interested? His text messages have been increasing recently too and the number of kisses at the end have started to increase. I just would have thought by now he would have moved on to someone else. Does anyone have any ideas what I should do or how to act when he is around? Or why this guy is acting like he is? Thanks He probably just really liked you and feels sort of embarrassed that you aren't interested in him, thats why he acts awkward/nervous around you (I know, I do the same thing).. Don't worry about it, you did nothing wrong (Better to tell him you weren't interested up front then to lead him around). You've already told him your not interested so he should know that. No reason to stop talking/being friendly to him though
Author Jen17 Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 Yeah I dont see any reason not to be friendly, but some of my friends think I should just ignore him. I did find it a bit werid the other week when he seemed to go out of his way to walk by me- why do u think he did that?
JCD Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Because he likes you and is seeing if you like him. You keep being friendly to him so he interprets that as in you're interested in him, even if little bit. If you don't want him and you want him to get over you, you have to stay away from him for his own good.
Dynamo Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Because he likes you and is seeing if you like him. You keep being friendly to him so he interprets that as in you're interested in him, even if little bit. If you don't want him and you want him to get over you, you have to stay away from him for his own good. While I believe that would work, I personally don't think thats the only way (or even the best way) to do it.. Maybe try talking to him again, and tell him you are only his friend? I can't speak for other guys but when I get this message I stop trying to pursue a relationship immediately. Of course since I still like them I'm still naturally nice and outgoing for them, but I won't try to push it on her. It's your call really, do what you feel is right and tell him if it bothers you.
JCD Posted December 4, 2007 Posted December 4, 2007 That works only if he can still backpedal out of his crush but I think in this case he is in love so NC would be best for him. For a while I mean.
Author Jen17 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Posted December 5, 2007 I think he may have finally got the idea. He text me the other day but it was all related to a particular subject I had to update him on. He didnt end the texts with kisses or anything. The fact that he is still maintaining contact- is that a sign he has accepted the friends idea or is he still hoping for something more?
compassion42 Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 It sounds to me like he got the message and is willing to maintain a friendship with you.
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