sumdude Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 I've been dating someone for a few weeks now. Someone I dated years ago and we've hooked up again. Thing is the we have been intimate a couple times.. I was able to perform but I just coudn't seem to get 'there'... Don't get it. Last night we had a great evening, dinner, a movie I lit the fireplace we started making out and there were just no fire down below for me. I can't tell if this is still something in myself that I'm going through after the divorce or a simple lack of chemistry. Not that uptight about it and taking my time. I told her that it was me and I was sort of still in limbo and she would need to be patient.
compassion42 Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Maybe it's a little of both? It sounds like you're fine with it which is great though. Most men would get freaked out if they couldn't....Glad she's willing to hang in there with you. Hopefully you'll be back to normal soon.
CD111 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Maybe you are subconsciously really anxious about the whole deal. Gosh I would be, getting back together with someone whom you married years ago does have a certain amount of uncharted territory associated with it. Who knows maybe you just aren't ready yet. My ex couldn't make it happen either the first time we were going to have sex. He was just too nervous about the whole deal. But, after he got over that he didn't have any issues.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Are you really that attracted to her or is this a situation you fell into, which is convenient and comfortable? Y'know?
Author sumdude Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 Just to clarify. I dating a woman now who dated 9 years ago. We dated for about 6 weeks back then. After I dated her I met my now ex wife who I was with for 7 1/2 yrs.. up until this January.
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 It probably means you're still not 100% ready to have sex with someone else.
Author sumdude Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 It probably means you're still not 100% ready to have sex with someone else. Could be, who knows? I'm not going to overthink it though.
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Right. If you overthink it, you'll mess it up so just go with the flow, relax and let whatever happen, happen.
CD111 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Oh ok, thanks for the clarification. You're right don't over think the situation.
Author sumdude Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 Are you really that attracted to her or is this a situation you fell into, which is convenient and comfortable? Y'know? Yeah pretty much seems that way .. at the moment.
MrMichael Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 sumdude, I appreciate your comments bro, in regards to your deal, I would say things will come within time..7 yrs and change is a long time to be w someone, and thats the timeframe between when you 1st dated this girl and now correct? married in between to someone else, there is probably alot on your plate with in regards with how you ended up dating this person once again.were you intimate w/ her before you married your x? I wouldnt stress on it though...you are obviously into her, or you wouldnt be lighting a fireplace to set the mood.. sounds like there is just alot on your mind and therefore you are not 100% "there" down below.> quite normal
Kasan Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 As someone who has read/is reading your posts, I wonder if you are ready to move on. Intellectually yes, but you still seem to be grieving the loss of your marriage. Maybe it's just to soon?
Author sumdude Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 sumdude, I appreciate your comments bro, in regards to your deal, I would say things will come within time..7 yrs and change is a long time to be w someone, and thats the timeframe between when you 1st dated this girl and now correct? married in between to someone else, there is probably alot on your plate with in regards with how you ended up dating this person once again.were you intimate w/ her before you married your x? I wouldnt stress on it though...you are obviously into her, or you wouldnt be lighting a fireplace to set the mood.. sounds like there is just alot on your mind and therefore you are not 100% "there" down below.> quite normal This sounds about right.. I'm just very stressed in general right now. Job stress, family stress, holidays, some left over emotional stuff from the divorce too I guess. Damn it if one of the things that usually de-stresses me seems to be an issue right now too!! lol have to laugh or I'd go wacko...
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1433076&postcount=542 I think this is the big reason why ... That and the other stresses in your life.
Author sumdude Posted December 4, 2007 Author Posted December 4, 2007 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1433076&postcount=542 I think this is the big reason why ... That and the other stresses in your life. Oh lord.. it finally hit me smack in the face, I guess I can laugh about it now. I subconsciously set myself up. yikes... I had no idea at the time on Saturday.. It was a year to the day.. I had a fire lit in the same room with an x-mas tree ..and the ex W. Oh damn.. No effin' wonder! I think I could use a change of venue , just for while.. dang brain..
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