pantheralum93 Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Hi, I won't bother to go into the details of my break up with my ex. Been over 5 months now and even though we were only together for 5 months they were a wonderful, memorable 5 months. Since the break up, I have pretty much done sticked to NC. Although I did break down and try to call her once leaving a message as well as sending a few text messages. None of which she responded to. Unfortunately, the last exchange we had was not a pleasant one. She was accusing me of giving her number to someone from whom she recieved a nasty text message from and telling "us" to leave her alone. I simply replied "I didn't give your number to anyone" and left it at that not responding to her follow up text message. This was nearly 6 weeks ago now. At the time of her sending me the text to be honest I had no reaction other then disputing her claim. I was also going thru a difficult and crazy time though as I was evacuated from my home due to the San Diego Wild Fires. As time has gone on though I have to admit I have started to think about her again. I did love her and I still do care for her. I have wondered if her sending me the text message with such emotion might show she still cares (probably not, but couldn't help but wonder). I'm not looking or expecting to get back with her. I don't even know that I could trust her after the way she treated me during the break up. But here's my question. Should I call her or send her a text message wishing her a Merry Christmas...you know in the spirit of the season. Or should I just leave it alone at this point? I think it's a shame we can't reconcile in some fashion as we did have some wonderful times together and I never cheated on her or treated her badly or with disrespect. Your thougths are much appreciated.
Numerouno Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't do it, even if you paid me a million bucks (well okay, I'd take the million... but not a penny less!!!) Why? Cause it's chump behaviour ("Oh please honey, take me back, I'll be good this time, I'll scrub the dishes real hard for you!") You're a man aren't ya? If you send that text message it's saying that you're not a man. You lived without her before, so why would you want to give her the satisfaction in thinking that you're struggling (which is not that tough to handle!) now that she's no longer part of your life? No way !!! It's all about self respect. And it's also about time you got some buddy. I mean, let's assume she laughs at the fact that you are still sending her text messages. How does that make you feel? And what if she then shows it to her friend and they all have a good ol' girly giggle about it? And what if she doesn't respond? How's that gonna make you feel huh? Like crap. And I can't think of anyone that likes crap (except of course the guy who owns the garbage company ) It just gets you thinking about her more than you should be and that makes you feel even more crappier and so on and so on and so on. Screw that !!! Speaking of which... Yeah sure you had a great time. And it would be great to get those times again (blah blah blah)... And you can! You just gotta get off your ass, make up your mind to put the ex out of your mind and go shopping! There's always plenty of chicks to interact with at the mall. All you have to do is look like you're shopping and say "hi" to them. That's all you have to do! And, before you know it, you'll be thinking about the hot babe you're talking to, not that other chick who doesn't really give a f*** about you or your life.
Author pantheralum93 Posted December 2, 2007 Author Posted December 2, 2007 Hey NumeroUno. Thanks man. A bit harsh, but I do agree that it's probably not the best thing to do. I just find it hard to believe that she doesn't even care about me or my life as you put it. I fully admit that I made some mistakes, but I'm a good guy and I treated her with respect all the time. I think i atleast deserve her to have the respect and decency of apologizing. But it's her loss and perhaps in time she will realize that.
Numerouno Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 No worries! Always remember this, humans only care about what they want. And in this situation she doesn't want you, so she doesn't care. Make sense? I've got my fingers crossed! I got the "good guy" vibe from your first post and that's not necessarilly a good thing. Believe me, I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, the whole works (and fries too!) Now, I'm a different person who looks out for me and what I want! Not in a bad ass way, altough I'll gladly take that path if I have to. Good guys come last. I swear it. That's why I was emphasizing the word "man" in my previous post. In other words, you gotta get real about the whole situation. For example, it'd be nice to get that "respect and decency" you speak of, but you know it's because you were a "good guy" that you don't get what you think you deserve. I like your "it's her loss" attitude. It's healthy, it's positive, it's encouraging! But, let's keep it real, and remember that she most likely won't realize it (or won't admit to realizing it) and that's something to deal with and move on from! Oh, and by the way, DON"T SEND THE TEXT MESSAGE!!!
ArtBreaker Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Yes, say "Merry Christmas and best wishes" or something very generic and simple. it's the classy thing to do. better to keep your side of the street clean.
thelegend Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Don't send the text wait and see if she texts you. Like Numerouno said she'll look at it and laugh at you. If you were good to her she will miss you I promise you that. It'll take a couple of bad apples before she realizes she lost a good one then she'll be begging to come back.
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