Thought2012 Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Ok im letting it all come out clearly so the women here can tell me whats going on I have known this girl for almost 5 years,we knew eachother about 2 years hung out,always had a flirty thing going on...and then all of a sudden she moved...so we kept touch by email Until one day we traded cell phone numbers and start talking on the phone....and we figured out that we started falling in love... We kept touch BY PHONE for 2 years! And i ended up taking a trip to her state...as soon as i got off the plane it was instant chemistry...we held hands and such...ended up making love a couple days later...but we spent like 8 days and when i left we both cried...but i promised her i would return soon I came back and we were closer then ever...because i spent time with her for that week i might have become a bit too attatched...and her mom had a talk with her and convinced her to take a break with me... So she called me and instead of a break said we shouldnt talk anymore because she felt i was acting obsessive...so she said things around the line of "have a good life i wish u the best" and i was so upset... She texted me a day later (which to me says she obviously not completely over it) and says we can talk but I NEED to let her call me...and i said hey thats great she took me back in her life atleast...so everything was cool i have no problem giving her space,my only problem was the whole "have a good life" thing like dude we have been friends for so long i still wanna be friends with you...but i still have feelings for her So we have been speaking every so often...we had 1 hour conversations on the phone a couple times...started getting a little closer and boom... Last night we ended up having phone sex...she was drunk,i was buzzed,we were both alone in our bed...so it natrually happened...(we have done this before) so we hang up and im stoked because im like hey atleast she still finds me desirable I made a mistake...by texting her today basically saying whats up hows it going and she calls me later saying "you still call or text me everyday and i feel bad for what we did last night...we shouldnt have done that...im over you...but then i think about stuff so...but yea we should only be talking like 2 or 3 times a week" I wish she would stop denying the fact that she still might think about me...i want her to be happy and i want her to go out with friends and meet guys/girls BUT i was her friend first so i feel like we should be able to be comfortable as friends...but its tough...i really need to lay low and any time she starts calling me or texting me i have to appreciate her attention and not mistake an inch for a yard... So alas,the last thing we said before we hung up earlier was: She said - "alright well have a nice night ill talk to you later" I said - "alright you too just hit me up whenever you want" And we said goodbye and hung up I went out to a hangout tonight which was chill...but as soon as i got outta the party i started thinking about things...so now here i am...wondering when ill hear from her...upset,because now i dont have the freedom of talking to her whenever i want.... So women...what is she saying? Its obviously not "im done with you" and its obviously not "i want you back" so...should i really work on giving her space and just continue to let our friendship grow? Cuz thats what i do and it always ends up becomming sexual and then she regrets it and feels bad...so i dont know what the hell to do now... She too important to me to just let go...i just cant seem to be reading her actions correct...ladies please help
colorfulbutterfly Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Hi there, It would help to know how old are you two? My guess is that you are very young. It sounds like she likes you and after the "talk mom had with her" she is fighting to stay away from you. Either way, give her the space she wants, keep yourself busy and continue on with your life and see how it plays out (so you don't go insane).
BettyBoop Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 ...and her mom had a talk with her and convinced her to take a break with me... So she called me and instead of a break said we shouldnt talk anymore because she felt i was acting obsessive...so she said things around the line of "have a good life i wish u the best" and i was so upset... Last night we ended up having phone sex...she was drunk,i was buzzed,we were both alone in our bed... ...we shouldnt have done that...im over you... So women...what is she saying? Its obviously not "im done with you" and its obviously not "i want you back" so...should i really work on giving her space and just continue to let our friendship grow? I wonder how you acted to make her think you were becoming "too obsessive"? That's usually only creepy for girls...especially if it hasn't been that much intimacy. My guess is as long as you try to be friends with her, you will never get over her. Hence, my advice is to distance yourself from her and try to move on with your life. Having phone sex with you means nothing, she probably only wanted something and you happened to be around, and since she knows you like her - she knew she wouldn't be rejected. I think she likes you because you are a nice guy, but she doesn't love you. And she has set her heart to it that you and her will never be. She is trying to tell you to move on by her "I'm so over you" and "goodbye have a good life", but perhaps she likes having you around for boosts of "oh this guy loves me - he'd do anything for me". That's not love. I still keep in touch with my ex simply because I want to know what he is up to - not because I love him or want him. My advice is to let her go, explain that you cannot be friends. Then get busy with life, start checking out other girls and appreciate them. Work at the gym. Hang out with your friends. She and you will never be, and therefore you should not waste anymore time on her, sweetie. Because the time you spend longing for her...is simply time lost when you could have been finding someone who WILL love you as much as you love them. And who WILL want you to call them often, and not just want you to be "friends". Best of luck!
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