faithe Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Here's my break-up story: I have just recently broken up with my bf of 3 yrs about 3 days ago (11/28)...not because I wanted to but because he was leaving for his new job in another state and has no plans for us whatsoever. We actually broke up the night before he was suppose to leave because I could not bear not knowing what's going to happen to us. He never mentioned anything to me about him visiting me or me coming to visit him. There was never a talk about the future with him. So that night, I put up a brave facade and asked him what's going to happen to us when he leaves and I got his usual I don't know. That is his answer to all questions which followed after that. I thought to myself that I was maybe asking the wrong questions so I asked him if he loves me enough to make it work then he said I don't know and I was so hurt and I told him that it was over. He did not put up a fight or anything. I was the one who broke up with him but I am the who is hurting because I am the one left behind and I am the one who wanted to make the relationship work. I invested so much into our relationship for nothing. During the 3 years that we have been together, he broke up with me twice. It was not because of cheating but it was mainly because to me it seems like he is the kind of person who does not believe that you have to put effort into a relationship. That when it becomes difficult he wants out and does not want to try any harder. We literally did not do anything when we were together except watch TV and eat. We used to eat out a lot every Friday or Saturday but that eventually turned into a eat in front of the tv kind of thing. He never tells me his plans. He never told me where he was looking for a job and when he got the job out of state he never asked about my plans...nothing at all. I know that I am better off but I am lonely. I was so lonely last night I sent him a what's up message but he did not reply...and I guess that was not enough rejection for me so I called...he did not pick up. I tried calling and texting my friends but none of them were available. I was so depressed that I just cried and cried. I am ok at times...like right now, I am all alone on a Saturday but I have no impulse to call him...not yet. I hope I'll be okay. I don't know if I'll believe in love again. This is my 3rd relationship and the longest one at that and I am getting tired of this cycle.
WakeUpPeople Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Its hard and tough, and it shall be a long road ahead. Take it from me long distance relationships dont work, especially when both parties do not feel the same for each other and even if they do as time goes on that love starts to fade because you do not have each other physically..Its hard to accept...but its the truth. Any hope u have in returning back together remove from ur head and also why would u want to be with someone who cheated on u more than once and does not know wiether he loves u or not. Remove anything that reminds u of him...Please going into NO CONTACT, NO CALLIN HIM, NO EMAIL, NO TEXT, NO NOTHING that means talking to him...its going to be hard but its a must..move on with your life it does not stop with one person..Its a learning experience that one must go through to toughen up..Because if u speak to him all u gonna have is more pain and hope..start focusing on urself and whats important to U!!! stay active and busy it'll help your mind...everytime u find ur self thinking of me, dont think of the good think of all the reasons why is no good for and when u can do better... Everyone learns the haRD way..i can tell u what to do but its up 2 what u do wit the information..and ur not gonna understand what I mean until u find the strength to open ur own eyes. - THE WAKE UP CALL
Mylife Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 i know what u mean by the attitude of he wants out if doesnt work for a bit...tht was part of the reason y me and my ex had to split too..he just didnt want to put any effort or try harder to make it work...and when i asked y dont u just try...he said he didnt feel like it...:S...how awkward...well anyways...trust me on one thing...rite now yes u r sad...i was there...6 weeks ago...but trust me with time..u will be like pheww i am outta that...but u will still think of him and stuff...at times feel sad...but in a way u will feel it that he didnt at all care??...and put no efforttt...and u will be feeling happier that u dont have to deal with that anymore..
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 i know what you mean...because i know exactly how you feel i suggest that u tell yourself that u are worth more than that...that no guy is worth your tears NO GUY!...leave everything to god...dont talk to him no texts or calls or nothing..dont chase after him dont beg him to be with you that is the worst thing a girl can do..dont shed any tears for someone who doesnt shed any tears for you...dont love a guy who doesnt love you the same way....dont think about him while hes out having fun probably talking to other girls joking around with his friends...us girls go through some shyt and its time for us to respect ourselves and not let a guy step on our asses all the time im getting tired of the same shyt every time also...its like a pattern when you actually fall in love with that person and you want to spend most of your life with them and out of nowhere something happenes and you go your own way...then where the hell did all those months or years go?? to the trash!..my x bf wrote me a letter a long time ago telling me he wanted to be with me "for a long ass time" and wanted to spend most of his life with me because he loved me and all the bull shyt...guess what i did last night?? i took that letter and i ripped it in little pieces and flushed it down the toilet..because it was shyt and thats where shyt goes IN THE TOILET!.....now you if you have anything that reminds you of him take them out throw them in the trash if their big things any letter burn them or do like me and flush them in the toilet...if you have any pictures or videos in your phone where he is in delete them!!delete his number from your fone!...take him away from your life dont keep anything that will remind you of a son of a bitch! cusz thats what men are when it comes to relationship BITCHES!...stay by yourself or dont force yourself in a realationship to soon.. and if you do please do me a big favor and dont get attached to him....because your going to be like you are right now deppressed crying going to loveshack for any advice...not having fun watching romantic movies wishing that was you and that nigga...listening to songs you guys used to like toguether or that reminded you of him...quit being weak start being strong...be like a man..dont think with your brain think with your dick..althou in this case it would be..dont think with your brain think with your pussy..lol good luck god bless
Author faithe Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 thanks for all of your input...it feels good to hear all those things. it's not like i don't know what to do but it helps me to hear it from other people. i just have to take it one day at a time and concentrate on graduating by the end of spring and finding a job. i am not ready to enter into another relationship. although i'd like to make new friends since none of the people whom i called last night so that i can avoid calling my ex never picked up...none of them returned my calls either. i hate self-pity, i really do but i just don't know what else to do when i get pangs of loneliness. my ex was my whole world and now he's gone. i feel like some piece of trash he just threw out because he has no use for me anymore and that it will be too inconvenient for him to continue with our relationship since he moved away. everyone whom i've told about the breakup all said that they had no idea how selfish he is. i guess i knew that about him but i was in denial and kept on with the relationship because i did not want to be alone and i had hope that he would realize that he could never be without me and we would live happily ever after...so much for that.
kymberann Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Well you are not a piece of trash. It just isn't working right now. He is neither right or wrong and same with you! But I know what it feels like to be lonly, even if you did spend all that time with him. it was not for nothing. Give it time, I bet you will hear from him Until then you have LS!
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