SYRACUSE03 Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 For the readers that read and responded to my past posts...thanks. Brief overview. G/f broke up 3 1/2 months ago, together 4 1/2 years. Live in same town. Only for about the last month has she distanced herself more. During the breakup, we still hung out and made some attempts at reconciliation (or at least on my part) but it never materialized. However, everything was and is very amicable. Anyway, I've been doing well with the advice on LS but today I saw her vehicle (not her) in town. All I did was think, stare and get very uneasy and anxious. This day seems to be getting worse when I thought I was doing well. I hate feeling this way. Any advice would be helpful on how to deal with this. I was making good progress but now I feel that I'm back at the beginning. I didn't think that a quick glimpse of anything about her would do this to me. Definately unexpected and my mind is going a mile a minute. Thanks for reading.
Frankie24 Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 When im anxious i use bach's rescue remedy dont know if this may help you
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 I'm unfamiliar as to what it is.
Frankie24 Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I'm unfamiliar as to what it is. http://www.rescueremedy.co.uk/ info is on here i use it daily as I used to suffer panic attacks its rather good
iwanttolive Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Hi Syracuse, if you feel this way you probably have not closed the chapter of loss. For me, I thought of why the r/s could nvr work out, not now, not in the future, so though feeling crappy and in a mess, i was thankful i learnt early and suffer less. You may feel so small, unwanted and a failure if she initiated the break-up but the truth is you yourself were not happy in the r/s. In fact the r/s probably wore you out but you din give up trying. When i've had enough throwing away my life being sad over someone who does not appreciate me and who's probably having a time of his life, I told myself i have so many other things to live for. When I see something that reminds me of him, sure i felt a stab on my heart, but i quickly replace the thoughts with things i should be thankful for and my dreams. Syracuse, hope you will be happy again and free your life again because everyone deserves it. As I read the threads posted, i feel everyone who's been hurt identify with the same feeling, and i'm just glad so many people understand...
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted December 2, 2007 Author Posted December 2, 2007 iwanttolive - Thanks for atking the time to post. You are right, I haven't closed this chapter. I am trying day in and day out. It's been rather difficult and I never had someone just "walk away". I still feel guilty, upset, etc. I know I did the rights things when I was with her and there are areas where I could have improved. Whatever the reason(s) are that she left, I cannot change that now. I do hope I find someone who accepts me who I am, accepts my faults and is there for me when I need her most. I'm just exhausted trying to find that person when I thought I did. I can't blame her for everything. There are certain things/actions that I should have done and I never did and I still don't know why...that's why it's tougher than expected.
vcrandom42 Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Reading about your situation, I can completely relate. The hardest thing about a breakup is the uncertainty and all the unanswered questions... as you say, "closing that chapter." With my breakup (2 mos. ago), my friend explained it best when she said I'm "trying to file this away so I can move on, but I'm having a hard time filing it as a "good" or "bad" experience." In my case, that was bc I was dealing with somebody who really taught me a lot, and encompassed some of the best qualities I would want in a partner, but lied through his teeth about certain things. It's difficult knowing that 90% was great, but there's that 10% that I can't wrap my mind around... Each new emotion, each "why?" question we obsess about, or new piece of information we find (them moving on, or ex's breaking NC, seeing them around town), further prevents that chapter from being closed. Progress and 'moving on' is a journey, and one with twists and bumps in the road (and a few U-turns here and there). I'm learning that now. It's been 2 months with as much NC as possible (we work together), and even though I'm thinking about him less and less, every so often it will just overwhelm me, or I'll see him at work, and I'll feel like I'm back at Square 1. There are U-turns. You saw your ex, which triggered something within you, and you took a few steps back...but that's natural. It's SO HARD when you live in the same town. But I'd bet you bring up some triggers for her, as well... just keep moving forward!
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 vcrandon42 - thanks for reading and responding. I do feel like I went back to square one. I really thought I was doing well. I've lost weight (proper diet - not stress), working out, changed the furniture around in the house...all sorts of things to break the norm. Then bam! it's like all that stuff I did, didn't make a difference. It is very hard in the same town especially when I got along with her folks and I see them too. The constant reminders are what's getting to me. As for compatibility and someone who encompasses your best qualities, that's my boat too so it makes it that much harder. As you said, deep down I do hope I bring up some triggers...for nothing more than to see that it was worth it and she does somewhat miss what we had. Thanks again for responding.
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