delnoire Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Just point of curiosity that concerns women. Well, first things first. My oldest daughter is eleven now and she's been bugging my gf (we've been together for about four years now) to let me allow her to start wearing thongs. which my gf has done a few times. About two years ago she was bugging me and to keep her off my back at the time, I said 'in two years you can' thinking she'd probably forget. I still don't really know what my thoughts are on this. I'm not some prude. I know pretty much all girls wear thongs nowdays, so I don't really have any good reason for telling her no. SO here's where I am confused. Since she was potty trained years ago she is always pulling wedgies out. I mean constantly. I think its almost obsessive compulsive with her. She can't sit still without pulling her underwear out of her crack every ten minutes, so I can't figure out for the life of me, why a girl like that would want to wear thongs! So women, help me out here. Am I missing something? Or is there some kind of link between thongs and wedgie relief?
norajane Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Personally, I'm not a fan of thongs because I wear a lot of pants for work and jeans when I'm off, and I don't really like the feel of my bare ass rubbing on coarse fabric, particularly wool pants. But I know many woman who love thongs and how you don't get visible panty lines with them. As for the wedgie thing, yes, it's different. The thong is supposed to be there, and once you get used to them, you don't feel it. Whereas the panty wedgie kinda creeps up on you and then is aggravating. As long as the thong isn't tight or made of scratchy material, it's actually pretty comfortable. What is your objection to thongs? I know men tend to sexualize them because a nearly naked woman with a thong is that much more naked when wearing one - are you thinking her desire to wear a thong is about her wanting to be sexy? There are plain white or color cotton thongs that really aren't much different from plain bikini panties. They aren't all red lacy things.
Rachel_0814p Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 I'm a woman, and in my opinion thong underwear are worn only A) to be sexy or B) so as not to cause panty lines. I think at 11, a girl shouldn't be concerned with either. 11 is too young to wear a thong, even just for fashion's sake. Perhaps at 13 it would be ok, but at 11, absolutely not. Why does your daughter want to wear a thong? Is it so she can be like the women on TV or in magazines, or so that when she bends over, the straps stick out of her jeans so that people will see and know she's wearing a thong?? That is a sign of sexualizing. I'm appalled that stores like The Limited Too who cater to pre-teen girls would even carry thong underwear. Whether they intend it or not, it is sexualizing. If you're still debating, try this thought on for size: Your daughter, in a skirt, is at a park playing with some smaller kids. Your daughter does a cartwheel, and for a couple of seconds, her undergarments are exposed. There are several men around and all of them catch a glimpse. Would it be such a big deal if she were in regular cotton panties? Would it be a bigger deal if she were in a thong and bare cheeks?? As for the material of the thong...The argument of material for such a young girl is hardly relevant. To say that plain cotton isn't as sexy as lacy red or black satin, etc. is just one person's opinion. My boyfriend thinks that me in white cotton panties, thong, bikini or otherwise, is the sexiest thing on the planet, next to being naked of course.
MissMaris Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 She wants a thong because it's in style. Probably one her friends commented on her underwear and made fun of her for being out of fashion. Kids at that age want what they want, not because it makes sense but because they want to fit in. Truthfully, I don't see the big deal about a thong. Older people sexualize them but to kids, that's just what all the other girls are wearing. I remember my mom not wanting to let me double-pierce my ears when I was thirteen. She thought it looked 'cheap'. In my mind it was just 'cool'. Same thing went for feather earrings, tight jeans, high-heeled clogs, streaks of pink in my hair and sparkly lip gloss. She is becoming a teenager. Choose your battles wisely. There will be many of them and you will want to stand firm on the really big stuff. I'd let the little stuff go.
Author delnoire Posted December 2, 2007 Author Posted December 2, 2007 I don't really have any objections to it really. First of all, I'd hope she would have enough sense not to do cartwheels or flips while wearing a skirt regardless of her underwear. Secondly. Old men are going to look anyways, no matter what. Men in general will and that will never change. And its no secret that girls have butts, no matter what age they are. If someone got a glimpse of some bare cheek, I don't really consider that a big deal. I was just wondering about the wedgie thing. A good question though. When I give her the okay, I know the first thing she is going to want to do is run out to somewhere like victoria secrets or fredricks of hollywood. I'd rather she stay away from those places because like the woman said, in the first comment, if she is going to wear thongs, I'd prefer that she not wear the sort they sell at either of those places.. does anyone know of any stores that sell to her age group (she's about average size for an eleven year old, slightly taller perhaps) that sell more plain, modest looking, less sexual looking thongs? I know she'll be upset if I don't let her get the frilly lacey stuff or whatever is popular at the moment, but its all about compromise I guess.
noturtypicalwife Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 just a thought but if you were willing to allow her to try them buy like 2 from Victorias Secret they have ones where the line is so thin and u can't even tell you have them on. I see it as a growing up thing her friends are prob doing it and so she wants to try I guess, you know her friends so I would assume if there were more to it you would know. Good Luck
norajane Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 What does her mother think? Have you discussed it with her?
Author delnoire Posted December 3, 2007 Author Posted December 3, 2007 Her mother is a stripper, and doesn't have much to do with her or her sisters. Somehow though, I don't think she is opposed to something like thongs
Meaplus3 Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 Just point of curiosity that concerns women. Well, first things first. My oldest daughter is eleven now and she's been bugging my gf (we've been together for about four years now) to let me allow her to start wearing thongs. which my gf has done a few times. About two years ago she was bugging me and to keep her off my back at the time, I said 'in two years you can' thinking she'd probably forget. I still don't really know what my thoughts are on this. I'm not some prude. I know pretty much all girls wear thongs nowdays, so I don't really have any good reason for telling her no. SO here's where I am confused. Since she was potty trained years ago she is always pulling wedgies out. I mean constantly. I think its almost obsessive compulsive with her. She can't sit still without pulling her underwear out of her crack every ten minutes, so I can't figure out for the life of me, why a girl like that would want to wear thongs! So women, help me out here. Am I missing something? Or is there some kind of link between thongs and wedgie relief? First off IMO thong's are not worn for comfort, there worn to be sexy. I do not think it's at all appropriate for a girl age 11 to be wearing one. I would say a Firm NO. she's still a child.
Author delnoire Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 okay, so we finally went shopping on friday. It turns out victoria's secret has some pretty modest thongs, which my daughter and I could both agree on. I wasn't sure if any they had there would actually fit an eleven year old but she assures me the size 0 fits fine. (I couldn't or wouldn't bring myself to look and make sure, so I'll gladly take her word for it! lol) As for being too young, I don't see the big deal. Its only sexualizing if theperson looking is sexualizing. I've talked with her and I'm convinced she's not going to be flashing them around. Its just what the other kids are doing. When I was her age, having holes on the knees of your jeans was the big deal. And in retrospect, I realize it wasn't a big deal at all. I think this is a similar case. Twenty years from now people are going to be wondering why everyone was making such a big fuss over tweens and thongs.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 funny that this subject came out of the woodwork from a not-so-regular poster after it was just again mentioned recently. funny, funny. anyway, holes in jeans, that's totally different. how do kids know what underwear others are wearing unless it's talked about? and why is it being talked about? too bad the trend isn't wearing granny-panties, all the notes would say "are yours white or beige? check yes or no." no kid of mine would be caught dead wearing a trashy thong. yes, they are sexualized by the people seeing them...duh. that's the whole problem. i'm sure she won't tell anyone she's wearing them, especially her friends who have obviously convinced her to start. i bet she'll tell you she doesn't swear, doesn't drink, and doesn't have sex when the time comes. in 20 years, if we're all laughing at he fuss we made over kids wearing adult-oriented underthings it'll be because by then they're single parents at 11 and 12, and thongs won't seem so evil anymore. lovely. if you want to let her wear thongs, go ahead, she's your daughter. but let's not be naive.
TotalChaos Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Wow! It's scary how quickly kids are growing up these days! I wouldn't want my 11 yr old wearing a thong, but I agree with previous post that said there are probably bigger things to worry about. I have a gf and her daughter is 10yrs old. Already she's wanting to get her hair died and eyebrows waxed. I just can't believe it. I was still playing with dolls at age 10! How times have changed!
lovelorcet Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 She wants a thong because it's in style. Probably one her friends commented on her underwear and made fun of her for being out of fashion. Kids at that age want what they want, not because it makes sense but because they want to fit in. Truthfully, I don't see the big deal about a thong. Older people sexualize them but to kids, that's just what all the other girls are wearing. I remember my mom not wanting to let me double-pierce my ears when I was thirteen. She thought it looked 'cheap'. In my mind it was just 'cool'. Same thing went for feather earrings, tight jeans, high-heeled clogs, streaks of pink in my hair and sparkly lip gloss. She is becoming a teenager. Choose your battles wisely. There will be many of them and you will want to stand firm on the really big stuff. I'd let the little stuff go. I think this is what is going on really think about what battles you want to pick. I think where I am is a few years a head of the states in "thong fashion" and I see A LOT of young girls here not only in thongs but in jeans that easily show off the thong when they are hardly even bent over. On the other hand, visible panty lines have become a fashion sin here for woman of all ages.
Ronni_W Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 My oldest daughter is eleven now and she's been bugging ... to let me allow her to start wearing thongs. About two years ago she was bugging me and to keep her off my back at the time, I said 'in two years you can' From a parenting point of view, you promised her this. Since you don't have a valid reason for not keeping your promise, it's a good opportunity to show your daughter she can trust you on your word. My guess is her interest is cos her friends are wearing it or it sounds cool or something rather childlike, like that. (Rather thongs than cigarettes, I'm thinking. And when it comes to the more important stuff down the road, you will have demonstrated that when you do say 'no', you've thought it out, have valid objections, and that you ONLY say 'no' when you do feel it is in HER best interest.) With luck she'll find them extremely uncomfortable and stop wearing them of her own accord. And you certainly can pray to whomever you pray to, that this will be the case (since it does make you uncomfortable, even though your reasons for discomfort are unknown.) So, I'd say buy them at Wal-Mart -- why get the nice, comfortable, expensive ones that she might get hooked on?
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If you get her thongs... you should take her to the family doctor for birth control pills... because IMO.. she's already sexually active. 11 years old is waayyy too young to wear this kind of underwear... maybe, as a parent, you should try to find out the real motive behind it... this is YOUR responsibility as a GOOD, responsible, caring father...
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 With luck she'll find them extremely uncomfortable and stop wearing them of her own accord. And you certainly can pray to whomever you pray to, that this will be the case (since it does make you uncomfortable, even though your reasons for discomfort are unknown.) WOW... why can't the father just put his foot on the floor and say no.. why do parents always have to 'wish the kid won't like it' as if it saves them from taking their responsibilities... Parents rely on so many other avenues so they won't have to say 'NO'... sad ... very sad.
norajane Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If you get her thongs... you should take her to the family doctor for birth control pills... because IMO.. she's already sexually active. 11 years old is waayyy too young to wear this kind of underwear... maybe, as a parent, you should try to find out the real motive behind it... this is YOUR responsibility as a GOOD, responsible, caring father... She was asking for them 2 years ago when she was 9 - do you think she was having sex then, too? My take is: Girls changing for gym class. Some girls are wearing thongs and they make fun of the 'little girls' still wearing 'little girl' panties. 'Little girls' feel bad and want to wear thongs, too, so they can be more 'sophisticated' and not get teased.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I didn't even dable with thongs until I was 18. She is a child. And should dress and act as an 11 year old. Out of the question here, it's a big deal because of the general thoughts that go along with it. I think you should put a stop to it.
MissCourtney Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I dont see a problem with her wearing thongs. And yes, your right, Victoria's secret makes thongs for all ages. Her friends probably wear them. And to me personally, I think thongs are comfortable. Just you know dont start leaving her alone with guys. Anyways, good luck with your daughters. -c and yes, kids are growing up way too fast now.
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 She was asking for them 2 years ago when she was 9 - do you think she was having sex then, too? My take is: Girls changing for gym class. Some girls are wearing thongs and they make fun of the 'little girls' still wearing 'little girl' panties. 'Little girls' feel bad and want to wear thongs, too, so they can be more 'sophisticated' and not get teased. Welll maybe she was starting to feel 'frisky' about the boys then.. they start really early these days... First, a little girl should have enough self confidence to not fall into the 'herd' fashion especially at that age. You just can't raise your kids according to what others think. It is your responsibilities not the class or the friends'.
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 hahahaha Just you know dont start leaving her alone with guys. I agree..unless he can chaperone her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.. We all know that, in real life, this is not realistic...
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If she's constantly pulling out wedgies, why not get her a fairly conservative thong that's too small? The experience should cure her need to follow fashion uniformity...
Ronni_W Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If she's constantly pulling out wedgies, why not get her a fairly conservative thong that's too small? The experience should cure her need to follow fashion uniformity... Yes, exactly! Why are supposed "adults" so intent on turning a poor 11-year old's normal desire to fit in, into something weirdly and wantonly sexual??? It's reminding me of the last BIG fashion change for women -- wearing pants -- then the fear was about all the "ladies" turning into lesbians. Now the "ladies" are turning into hookers!?! -- because of a piece of clothing??? What in heck are our hang-ups and freakish ideas about a pair of panties? Let's give our collective heads a shake, for Pete's sake!
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