indianlover Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I'm frustrated with my MM. He's supposedly coming into town this weekend, but I haven't heard from him in a long time. When we were together (living in the same country) he was awful with email/calling etc. So I know this is just him being him but its so frustrating! Plus it makes me wonder if he's changed his mind on this whole thing. And that makes me mad he wouldn't be man enough to just tell me instead of not contacting me. Arg!
bestadvisor Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Maybe, unlike you, he has morals and decided not to continue with the affair. He is married, leave him alone.
Author indianlover Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 Hey thanks for the cheap shot ba. Maybe you should also read the forum rules.
overandout Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I'm frustrated with my MM. He's supposedly coming into town this weekend, but I haven't heard from him in a long time. When we were together (living in the same country) he was awful with email/calling etc. So I know this is just him being him but its so frustrating! Plus it makes me wonder if he's changed his mind on this whole thing. And that makes me mad he wouldn't be man enough to just tell me instead of not contacting me. Arg! That's the thing; we don't really know what they are thinking. There are several xOW on here who didn't get proper closure from their mm. He either "disappeared", or stopped calling despite saying he would, or made dates and then kept cancelling. Mine did the second trick. It made me feel worthless and hurt that he couldn't even be bothered to sit down and tell me. Some of them don't want to face their OW when it is over for obvious reasons. However it taught me a lesson about his character and the way he deals with conflict and made me vow to not get involved with a mm again. Of course sometimes they just disappear into their "caves" for a while to make you miss them if you have been giving them a hard time--it's all about control. You have to make your own closure, although it is hard especially when you want someone to acknowledge your pain and frustration.
Author indianlover Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 That's the thing; we don't really know what they are thinking. There are several xOW on here who didn't get proper closure from their mm. He either "disappeared", or stopped calling despite saying he would, or made dates and then kept cancelling. Mine did the second trick. It made me feel worthless and hurt that he couldn't even be bothered to sit down and tell me. Some of them don't want to face their OW when it is over for obvious reasons. However it taught me a lesson about his character and the way he deals with conflict and made me vow to not get involved with a mm again. Of course sometimes they just disappear into their "caves" for a while to make you miss them if you have been giving them a hard time--it's all about control. You have to make your own closure, although it is hard especially when you want someone to acknowledge your pain and frustration. Hi oo, Thanks for the kind words - I read some of your early posts and can see where you are coming from. I'm probably in a similar situation and should have guessed. When we were together he rarely talked about anything bad - I think there is so much stress and bad stuff in his life when he's with me he just wants to be happy and is good at pretending he's happy. And I already know he's an awful communicator anyway. So those two things together mean I'm not going to hear about any of it. But also knowing him he'll come into town and give me a call and "not realizing" he should have called before he came into town. Where is my Dr. Perfect anyway?
nadiaj2727 Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Hi indianlover... in my opinion this doesn't sound like the right man for you, and I don't know if it's because he's married or if it's because he just doesn't treat you right, period (or both). It sounds like he's always used you (as an outlet to vent about his stressed life and be happy) but not been there for you (not calling/ emailing, seeing you when he's in town, etc.) What is it that you like about him? Why are you staying with him? Would you accept this treatment from a single guy? Just wondering. Good luck. ~Nadia
mopar crazy Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Looks like he has gotten on w/ his life w/o you, try to do the same. He is M, stop waiting for him and go out and meet someone new.
Recommended Posts