privyet Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I first posted in the infidelity section. For a long while, we were stressed over not being able to have kids, then we decided to adopt, then he pulled out of that & decided he didn't want to adopt, and probably didn't want kids at all. I fell into a depression. In addition, he has always been work-obssessed and so there has been little "fun" time for us. I guess we neglected the relationship. Also, I sort of feel like I'm on eggshells around him a lot of the time. He says I demonize him, but there is definitely an element of emotional abuse in the relationship - always has been. But now I just can't handle it anymore. He had an emotional affair with someone in his office - he did finally call it quits but it almost ruined our marriage. Now yesterday i had surgery on my hip; when we got home he went upstairs to his study right away and wouldn't help me get something to eat & sit down. I yelled for him to help me, and he told me he doesn't like me anymore, and wants me out of the house. ??? All because I was upset that he just couldn't be a bit kinder to me. That's really all i want is a bit of kindness. I've asked him this all along - he still says he's not that bad and I demonize him. I can't tell anymore if it's me - am I really the misery he says i am? I am happy when I'm with other people. He will lose his temper and throw me out of the house but ultimately he does not want me really to go. We've been married almost 13 years. I have finally said I'm leaving, but I'm incredibly scared, and the worst is - i feel guilty, i feel sad for him. I don't think he ever meant to hurt me, he just is a very, very difficult person....Last week, we were really good - he even said to me "thank you for staying with me" - like he KNOWS how hard it is sometimes...He will not go to counselling.
bestadvisor Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 He had an emotional affair with someone in his office - he did finally call it quits but it almost ruined our marriage. Now yesterday i had surgery on my hip; when we got home he went upstairs to his study right away and wouldn't help me get something to eat & sit down. I yelled for him to help me, and he told me he doesn't like me anymore, and wants me out of the house. ??? All because I was upset that he just couldn't be a bit kinder to me. I would be very suspsicous of this "emotional" affair. Either way, it seems like that this affair is still going on.
Recommended Posts