luckychuckie Posted May 30, 2003 Posted May 30, 2003 I am a man 55 years old . When I was 12 my Mom sent me to stay with my Aunt & Uncle , who , had a farm 130 miles from where we lived , for Summer break . My Aunt had a Niece who was 10 at the time , who I got to see a few times during the summer ,for about 3 years in a row . We were attracted to eachother immediately and it stayed that way . Until one year I wasn't sent to the farm anymore .We wrote a few letters ,but decided it just wasn't going to work out , being minors . After I turned 17 I joined the Navy . Following Basic Training , I was transferred to Key West , Fl. I wrote to her and she was excited to hear from me , and replied with a very nice letter . But, my next letter went unanswered . We both know now , the parents kept us seperated . After all these years , and three marriages , I wanted to find her to see how she was doing . I called and spoke with her Husband who was very nice and told me that she was at work , but that he would have her call me . She called and wanted to see me .She said her Husband is 67 and she has been married 29 years . But she is not Happy with this marriage ,but , she just accepted that this was what her life was supposed to be . He is unable to perform , for one thing ,and in general , she is just another part of the house , in passing by , goes unnoticed . We have been together six times in three months for conversation . We are in love with eachother , but not sure what to do , or how to do it . When she says to me , " What are we going to do ? " I suggest that she talked with an attorney . But , one problem is , her grandson of 11 has lived with her since he was 3 , and she is trying to get him back to his Mother . Another problem is , she loves her husband , but not in love with him . We know that , this will hurt some people if we get together , but , we wanted to be together when we were teens , and our parents wouldn't let us . Also , that 130 miles still seperates us , and that is still a problem , but I can relocate now . I'm retired . She has told me , that she wants to be with me . And I with her . We are just not sure what steps to take and when to take them . Can I get some advice from the staff or other members ? I'm sorry , I forgot to mention , she always has put everyone elses needs before hers . But she's working on that . I know habits are hard to break , and that may be a part of what's slowing us down . But I'm willing to wait . Thank you in advance , for any help ! Luckychuckie
Tony T Posted May 30, 2003 Posted May 30, 2003 I think you're making a major assumption that a relationship between the two of you will work. Making a decision like that after a number of phone calls and a little contact is not very wise. Before the two of you start dating in person to see if this is something that will work long term, I suggest this old lady friend divorce her husband so she is free to make a move. Once all the emotional and legal garbage is over with, that would be the time to explore things. I personally think you're making a major mistake by thinking you were meant to be with a lady who is obviously vulnerable and in a loveless, boring marriage. She's probably go for just about anybody who called on the phone. I think it was very nice of her husband to relay your message to her. I don't think it's very nice of you to carry on behind his back. Take the high road and have her become free before you take this further.
Author luckychuckie Posted May 30, 2003 Author Posted May 30, 2003 Your advice is well taken . Thank you Tony . Luckychuckie
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