shoegirl02 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Hey.. ok I am new here, so I'm not sure exactly how to go about this.. Thanks first and foremost to anyone who reads and/or responds... First of all, over the last 5 months or so I have dated several different guys... each for at least a month and then it came down to them wanting more (sexually) and me wanting to know what we were... Each one wanted nothing but a hook up, so I ended the relationships. I am not good at separating my emotions and I just didn't want to be in a relationship like that... So this has made me very cautious about other guys, but I don't want to judge this new guy based on the other ones... Ok so the new guy... I met him at the beginning of this year through one of my good friends. At the time, they were friends with benefits. I didn't think much about it because I knew she kind of had a thing for him. Well, a couple of months later he added me as a friend on facebook and started messaging me every once and a while. When we first met we lived in the same town, now he is in graduate school 3.5 hours away... So over the last few months we have gotten into the habit of messaging on a regular basis, sometimes they will just be flirty messages other times serious. Well when he came home for Thanksgiving break he asked me to go have drinks one night. We ended up having a nice dinner and drinks. He's asked me to come visit him where he's at school, but I am not sure that I want to do that yet... Basically my question is - he was friends with benefits with my friend so is he expecting the same thing from me? I know its not what I want, and I don't want to judge him because of my recent past, but it is hard.... Sorry, this is long, basically I want to know what you all think his intentions are... Thanks!
dbtmarley Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I know there are no moral laws to persecute people with, but it does seem a bit shady that he would screw your friend and move on to you. You definitely must like him, however I would use caution with this fellow. My gut instinct is telling me that this guy may have many benefits coming his way. I was once wrong in my 38 years of life so this could be my second coming... Just come right out and ask him and tell him that is not what you want.. If the text messages from you are filled with sexual innuendos it might be best to stop for he might be getting the wrong impression.
Kamille Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Basically my question is - he was friends with benefits with my friend so is he expecting the same thing from me? I know its not what I want, and I don't want to judge him because of my recent past, but it is hard.... Like DBTMarley I am wondering if the friend still matters in all of this. But that being said, I think that as long as you know what you want and are confident that you won't settle for less, then you have nothing to fear from this guy. If he wants a FWB arrangement, then you're out of there. If he wants more, he will find a way to let you know.
Jilly Bean Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I personally would cringe at the idea of screwing anyone my gf's had already bedded. I do just fine finding my own guy, and don't need their leftovers.
Recommended Posts