truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 My fiance and I have been together for four years and she has never liked my parents, my mom especially. Now my family have gone out of their way to welcome her into the family and my fiance has refused to have anything to do with them. I have been patience because she her family was kinda messed up, when she was a kid she was shuffled between numerous foster homes while her grandparents traveled the world and wanted nothing to do with her. But I am running out of patience. My family is a huge part of my life and I'm tired of her bad mouthing them all the time. I am only home 3 or 4 days a month and I have to choose between spending time with my family or with her. No matter which I choose I always end up feeling guilty. Yesterday she told me that she didnt want me to go over to my families for christmas. I am to the point where I just want to give up. Any advice is welcome.
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 I should also mention that at first she did not make a good impression with my family, she said things about not caring what I did she was gonna do this and she told my mom that she didnt know if she loved me enough to marry me while I was supporting her while she went to school. But at my insistance they have given her multiple chances.
littlepiggy1 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Do you know why she doesn't like them? If you can find that out, you'll be one step closer to perhaps resolving it. Otherwise, you may end up having to choose between your family or her. Not a fun choice, but many a relationship has ended over such things.
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 I have asked her many times. all she tells me is that she doesnt want to deal with them and wont say anything more.
curiousnycgirl Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Wow this puts you in a real pickle. Unless you get to the bottom of it, I doubt this situation is going to improve, and if you guys are thinking of having children, it could be a disaster. From the little you have posted she sounds selfish (letting you support her while she goes to school, but not being in love with you). I would guess her experiences with her own family have soured her to the concept of family - but she's going to need to give your family a chance! Otherwise you are in for years of real hardship. I would rethink the idea of marrying this woman unless you can get this situation fixed! I'm sorry you are going through this.
dbtmarley Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Man is this woman's name Tina? Wow she sounds just like my ex wife, I swear!!!! I saw your other post regarding her... Hate to tell you this, but I think you should drop her. Everyone told me about my ex and I wouldn't listen... it's OK if you don't either.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 After reading your cheating thread about this same fiance who is lying and stealing money from you, I'd say forget about her and go see your family for Christmas. She is obviously a really spiteful and negative person. I'm sorry you have to put up with that
Woggle Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Are you sure you want to marry this woman? She is putting up a bunch of red flags.
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 well last night I gave her an ultimatum she either becomes part of the family or shes on her own. She hung up on me and I am assuming the answer is no. I'm gonna take your advice and drop her, something I probably should have done a long time ago. Thanks for the advice everyone.
bish Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 My fiance and I have been together for four years and she has never liked my parents, my mom especially. Now my family have gone out of their way to welcome her into the family and my fiance has refused to have anything to do with them. Trust me...run like hell. This isn't a situation of being a "momma's boy" ...I have lived this one...if she doesn't like your family..she has no respect for you. My XW hated my family and she turned out to be the most selfish wench on the planet. Trust me my man...you don't want to marry her. You will regret it.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Congrats on making a great decision truckdriving..you deserve better than that. Family is wonderful, and you should be with someone who loves both you and your family.
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 I've been thinking about this for awhile and I think a big part of why I have stayed with her for so long is because if I drop her then how am I gonna find another girl?
littlepiggy1 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Staying together simply out of fear of never finding someone else is one of the worst reasons to do so. It will be scary to become single again, and probably very painful at first. But in time you will heal and eventually find someone better.
sumdude Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Man is this woman's name Tina? Wow she sounds just like my ex wife, I swear!!!! I saw your other post regarding her... Hate to tell you this, but I think you should drop her. Everyone told me about my ex and I wouldn't listen... it's OK if you don't either. I thought it was my ex W.. LOL. She just couldn't get along with almost any female member of my family... now my mom and sis were a tough pair and made it hard on her... and she did try but she just couldn't take the competition or something like that..also came from a broken home where she was sometimes neglected. Very needy in the attention department. Watch out..
Lauriebell82 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I've been thinking about this for awhile and I think a big part of why I have stayed with her for so long is because if I drop her then how am I gonna find another girl? Awww, I know, but your doing the right thing! You'll find another girl, you really will. I know how you feel, my ex bf who I was with for 2 1/2 years and wanted to marry was a total loser who lied and couldn't find a job. I'm so glad I broke up with him, even though it was so painful and hard. Just keep thinking how nice it is going to be when you your gf loves your family and gets along with them so well. Think how thrilled your mom is going to be, and how much you can't wait for her to become a part of your family. Thinking about those kinds of things, helps you get through the pain. You are going to be so much better off, I promise!
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 keeping that stuff in mind will definitely help as well as staying on the road for a few months. Hopefully after a few months I will be OK enough to go home.
quankanne Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 trust me, you're going to find a woman who loves you to the point that she will do everything within her power to help your life go more smoothly because that what loving means to her, even if she's got to put aside hard or hurt feelings that she's got. Your ex just wasn't that caliber of person, bless her heart.
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