Impudent Oyster Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Why would anyone mail a tape knowing full and well that it will alter the lives of 4 children ? The children will be the ones that catch the fallout... then the person who damages their lives in that fashion is the same one who wants to wind up being their step mother. Seems a bit hurtful Art, I'm being facetious. Did you not read my previous suggestion? About the hit man? I'm playing with the OP, just like they're playing with us.
Art_Critic Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I'm being facetious. Oh.. I guess it is the Santa hat.. Sorry IO...
Impudent Oyster Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Oh.. I guess it is the Santa hat.. Sorry IO... What, you really thought hiring a hit man was the answer....wow, now I'm disappointed...
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Since I'm with him almost every night and his wife has four kids to tend to. uh, yeah.Well ain't THIS guy Father of the Year? Produces a litter of kids with his wife and can't be bothered to be home with them cause he's knocking off a piece every night at your place? Let me guess - he's using these PRECIOUS CHILDREN as his excuse not to leave..right? The same PRECIOUS children that Father of the Year doesn't even bother with. Wow. He's quite the prize. Please tell me he has a brother JUST like his worthless a*ss and hook me up with the loser, will ya?
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 He said that she tricked him into at least two of the pregnancies by claiming to be on the pill and insisted not to use condoms as it insulted her. She wanted more kids and he didn't.LOL!! CLASSIC married man bullsh*t. Classic. What's even more classic is the women who believe this garbage. There's a fool born every minute.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 The only thing I'm fearful about if this relationship somehow does not work out, although I'm definitely positive it will. It's that a long time ago he taped us having sex on his camcorder. Now, I don't know what happened to the footage. I was a little tipsy when we took it and it was probably some of our hottest moments. Is there anyway to legally get the tape destroyed or prevent him from using it for anything?Good thing you're positive that this love-like-no-other is going to work out for you. I mean, let's face it - that'd be pretty scary to know that a guy who thinks NOTHING of lying, cheating, disrespecting his wife and basically DESERTING his children every night had a tape of me in my most vulnerable and private moments. Thank goodness this guy is full of character and integrity. Whew. I was worried for ya for a minute there.
4everloveu Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Please don't play with the fire b/c you will get burn. Epecially he had FOUR kids + wife to support after the D. Even you will be with him, how many job you need to work to help him out for the child support.
noforgiveness Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Well ain't THIS guy Father of the Year? Produces a litter of kids with his wife and can't be bothered to be home with them cause he's knocking off a piece every night at your place? Let me guess - he's using these PRECIOUS CHILDREN as his excuse not to leave..right? The same PRECIOUS children that Father of the Year doesn't even bother with. Wow. He's quite the prize. Please tell me he has a brother JUST like his worthless a*ss and hook me up with the loser, will ya? lol it's easy this way. He can come and go as he pleases. Wifey does the kids. Imagine if he divorced he'd have to actually take care of them and spend time with them. Ohhhh but wait twist is going to stepmom these kids who love her so he'll have that covered. Ohhhh wait mom will become less tired and take better care of herself because kids will be gone 50% of the time and she will have time for her. Then hubby will think she's hot as stepmommy does the crayons and glue mess in her hair and will be dying inside when she begins her new life and you step right into her old life.. This guy is pretty smart. You deserve him. Enjoy
hollaxatholly Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 The only thing I'm fearful about if this relationship somehow does not work out, although I'm definitely positive it will. It's that a long time ago he taped us having sex on his camcorder. Now, I don't know what happened to the footage. I was a little tipsy when we took it and it was probably some of our hottest moments. Is there anyway to legally get the tape destroyed or prevent him from using it for anything? First of all, you say you are definitely sure things are going to work out for you, so you want to be with this man, I would think you would trust him more than this? Plus, I'm POSITIVE he has ALOT more to lose than you do by showing this tape. That would just be completely stupid of him. I think you should be able to ASK him for the tape, and for you all to destroy it together and he shouldn't have a problem with that.
hollaxatholly Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Since I'm with him almost every night and his wife has four kids to tend to. uh, yeah. I wouldn't be too proud of that....those are HIS kids also, his wife shouldn't have to tend to them alone while he's out with you. You sound...happy..or proud...about that. You sound like a heartless OW, makes everyone look bad...try to put yourself in her shoes..I'm not judging you, I'm sort of an OW also, but have some kind of heart atleast, you just sound like u don't give a sh-t about anyone except yourself... Oh, and if you figure out this magic way to get her to go faster, please share it. Theres plenty of people who would probably give their left arm at this point for the answer to that....I'm pretty sure there is no way.
Lyssa Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 If you decide to send the tape, maybe a day before Christmas would really help...
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 If you decide to send the tape, maybe a day before Christmas would really help... Why not drop it off in person on Christmas morning?
Lyssa Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Why not drop it off in person on Christmas morning? In a Santa's helper's suit, maybe?
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 In a Santa's helper's suit, maybe? While the kids are opening their presents of course.
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 This thread brings to mind the line from the Christmas carol, Merry Christmas to You. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire".
Lyssa Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 This thread brings to mind the line from the Christmas carol, Merry Christmas to You. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire". :lmao:
Triarge Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 How do I make her "go away" faster? She'll never 'go away'. Even if you MM leaves her and decides to move in with you she'll never be gone. You'll face her at kids birthdays, Christmas, and all the other holidays She will be in your life for the rest of your life while your 'with' the MM. It will be like having a boyfriend who has a permanant ex-girlfriend in tow. You'll see her so much that eventually you might become best friends, have tea/coffee and regale each other with stories of your fellow man.
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Go send the tape. He'll turn on you so quickly as it isn't your place to tell her about you and her husband. He is the one married to her, not you, so let him handle HIS marriage the way he feels most comfortable.
noforgiveness Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 show him this thread and see how he feels about you after reading it,
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 How do I make her "go away" faster? She'll never 'go away'. Even if you MM leaves her and decides to move in with you she'll never be gone. You'll face her at kids birthdays, Christmas, and all the other holidays She will be in your life for the rest of your life while your 'with' the MM. It will be like having a boyfriend who has a permanant ex-girlfriend in tow. You'll see her so much that eventually you might become best friends, have tea/coffee and regale each other with stories of your fellow man. Yes, this woman, his (maybe ex) wife will always be in your lives because of those children. One day YOU will be step-mom to ALL four of those kids. How do ya like them apples?? Or, do you plan on having nothing to do with them because they're not your own blood children? Since you obviously hate and disrespect his wife so much, how are you going to even care about the kids? Sorry, but it sounds like you need a reality check here.
frannie Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 My mm really needs help. I don't know what's wrong but his life is completely deteriorating at home and I comfort and console him as much as I can with plenty of sex, soft music, cuddling, and nice words. ... Now, I am wondering if there is any advice on how to speed up the process of my mm breaking things off. :lmao: Anyway, I just wanted to comment on the 3% 'statistic' that's bandied about. The statistic comes from one survey of professional men, who were questioned about their current partners. Of those who replied (honestly?), 3% of those men said that they were married, now, to a previous affair partner, and had been married for more than 5 years. So, the figure is not, "3% of those in affairs will end up married to their AP for more than 5 years", but "of professional men in this survey, 3% are currently married to their previous AP". We have no idea what percentage of those men had ever had affairs, or anything else which might lead one to calculate how many affairs end in marriage of the APs. Hope that clears that one up, but I very much doubt it. It's become something of a 'fact' in affairs forums.
JamesM Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Hope that clears that one up, but I very much doubt it. It's become something of a 'fact' in affairs forums. All statistics can be made to fit any scenario, but I think no one can argue with the fact that a relationship which begins on a foundation of lies and broken commitments will not suddenly transform into a relationship of trust and honesty. How do I make her "go away" faster? There really is nothing you can do or there should be nothing you WANT to do. This is a decision of the MM you are with. If he feels that you are more important than his family and wife, then he needs to take action. If his love for you transcends the skies, then his love for his family should pale in comparison. If you are such a great catch, then perhaps his eyes have not been opened up to the reality of that fact. When you step in and "help" him make his decision, then your likelihood of a good relationship will drop. He needs to make his own decision. While I have a dim view of men who conduct affairs and say they will leave their families (knowing full well that most do return to their families), I have some sympathy for the OWs who have this pollyannish view that for some reason their MM is in a situation not of his own making or choosing. And worse, the situation can only be made better if he attempts to either fix it or leave it. This MM like so many others CAN choose to leave his "horrible" situation if he so chooses. Unfortunately, most MM don't leave because they really don't want to leave...despite what they tell their mistresses. I have one suggestion as to how you can help him leave....suggest that he begins counseling so that he can obtain courage to leave. This counseling may actually open his eyes to what he is and who he has become.
Impudent Oyster Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I've reconsidered my advice to send the tape in a plain brown wrapper. I think a nice, festive Christmas wrapping with a shiny red bow is much more appropriate. Something the whole family can gather around and watch after Christmas dinner. What a fab idea!
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I've reconsidered my advice to send the tape in a plain brown wrapper. I think a nice, festive Christmas wrapping with a shiny red bow is much more appropriate. Something the whole family can gather around and watch after Christmas dinner. What a fab idea! And what a turkey dinner it will be...
justice Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 How do you make her go away faster? That isn't your place. You had no right to even engage in a relationship with a man you knew was married. Don't you even think about his kids or the fact that you are hurting someone who obviously loved this man? How can you even claim to love him when you are acting so selfishly. I hope you do get him. And I hope he does cheat on you just like he cheated on his wife with you. In my opinion you don't even have a conscience. Wake up honey, the karma bus is on its way to your door. You do a great discredit to most of the ow at this board.
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