hannah1 Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I have been married for over 10 years and we dated for 3 years prior. Neither have never cheated on each other and we used to be best friends. For awhile life was great and he is a good man. He has good christian values. But over the years we are so far apart. We went from having the same interests to our own. I am most frustrated in the fact we haven't had sex in months and it is because I am not initiating it. But if I initiate it it is all of 3 minutes. Hardly worth the trouble. And yes..that has been discussed many times. I have a very high sex drive and he has none...I thought I could fix it...but obviously..I couldn't. I had decided in my mind I was going to leave him a few months ago. He is being deployed to Iraq so I think it would be best to wait until he goes. Thinking more of I do love him...just not in that way anymore. I want him to focus on his training as I don't want him to die. I am afraid a separation at this point will cause him to stress over things he shouldn't and I am open to handling his personal business too. His job over there will be dangerous. I am the breadwinner so I am sure the house would stay to me as he can't afford it. He would have to find housing just for 4 months, furnish it and pay for it. It is a stress I don't want him to have. There are no children. I don't want it to get ugly....but not sure what is the best option. But while I made that decision it is harder and harder to wait as I feel I am wasting my life away...I want to move on...to what I don't know. But I feel like I spend my life sitting around because he is off training, at some meeting, or something. I just don't know what to do. As I said...he is a good guy..just nothing there and life is too short. He is young enough to meet someone and have a family...and so am I. Together there has never been an interest in that obviously...
cant let go Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 have you communicated your feelings to him at all. please don't just hit him with this out of the blue. it saddens me when people just give up on a great person because they just don't "feel it anymore." please consider working on your relationship and talking to your husband about your feelings. if you both agree that you are unhappy with each other, then perhaps you should part. but if either of you want to try and work on it, i say give it a chance. seek counseling.
empress Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 yes! i agree that you need to communicate with him first, throw everything out before you do anything.. you might lose the very person that mean to be with you impulsively. marrige is all about communications and stuff.. when i look at my parents, they are complitely in a very good term still after 40 years! and still so loving. they said to me that communication is very important... there are ups and downs in our life.. i am sure it applys to relationship too... i agree that you might need to discuss this with him... good luck! do update us k...
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