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Ugh, more confusion!


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Posted
You're not listening to me lauriebelle. The next time he starts jacking around with you, just grunt. If he asks "What?", you tell him you were using manspeak, didn't he understand it?

 

LOL, awesome!

Posted
You're not listening to me lauriebelle. The next time he starts jacking around with you, just grunt. If he asks "What?", you tell him you were using manspeak, didn't he understand it?

 

THAT, my dear, is THE BEST single piece of romantic advice I have EVER seen anywhere. WELL DONE.

:D

Posted
I think he made a lame joke and you're reading way too much into it.

 

I still agree with this. I don't think it has anything to do with when he will propose or if he's seriously thinking about it.

Posted
I think you need to not use the following words (and their varied forms) in conversation with him:

 

1 - marriage

2 - engage

3 - nuptual

4 - chapel

5 - ring

6- bridesmaid

7 - dress

8 - tuxedo

9 - cake

10-honeymoon

 

Girl, for some reason, this boy is seriously tweaking over the thought of marrying you. I wouldn't be so convinced that things are as rosy as you think. I mean, within a few days, he has gone off twice about the prospect of marriage with you. Perhaps you are sending out some kind of vibe that you are not aware of, and he is feeling some kind of pressure from you. What do you think?

 

How can you avoid cake? :laugh:

Posted
Tell him it better be an E or F in color, with very little inclusions... :lmao:

 

Looks like someone's been looking at rings :laugh:

 

How can you avoid cake? :laugh:

 

My bf would be bummed if I never said the word cake :laugh:

 

I'm quoted! How exciting! :)

Posted

 

My bf would be bummed if I never said the word cake :laugh:

 

I'm quoted! How exciting! :)

 

Part of my job is supplying the cake for everyone's birthday's at work. If my bf calls what would I say? "I'm at the strip club next door to my work" :laugh: (yes we have both a strip club AND a cake shop next to the building.)

 

It was just too genius to not use :laugh: And it's better then using more conspiracy-alien loving Muse lyrics

Posted

Better yet, Coco. In Boston, we have a bakery that makes cakes of various nekkid body parts. It's called SWEET AND NASTY. :)

Posted
Better yet, Coco. In Boston, we have a bakery that makes cakes of various nekkid body parts. It's called SWEET AND NASTY. :)

 

:laugh: Imagine being able to say "I own the Sweet and Nasty in Boston on such and such street" :p

Posted
Better yet, Coco. In Boston, we have a bakery that makes cakes of various nekkid body parts. It's called SWEET AND NASTY. :)

 

You live in Boston too! :bunny:

Posted

Only half of the year - well, officially for Red Sox season, so April - October. Boston is my hometown (North End). GO PATS!!! ;)

 

And you've been to Sweet and Nasty, right? :)

Posted
Looks like someone's been looking at rings :laugh:

 

 

 

I was thinking the same. :laugh: I had to look up some of those terms. I've decided that when I get married I want a 20 carat flawless blue diamond, nothing less. ;)

Posted
THAT, my dear, is THE BEST single piece of romantic advice I have EVER seen anywhere. WELL DONE.

:D

Haha...

 

I've thought of another one, since Lb's a therapist.

 

"Honey, did you want to engage in sex?"

 

Can anyone read the subliminal message? :laugh:

Posted
Haha...

 

I've thought of another one, since Lb's a therapist.

 

"Honey, did you want to engage in sex?"

 

Can anyone read the subliminal message? :laugh:

 

You're on fire tonight, girl. I'm making a list over here... ;)

  • Author
Posted
Haha...

 

I've thought of another one, since Lb's a therapist.

 

"Honey, did you want to engage in sex?"

 

Can anyone read the subliminal message? :laugh:

 

LOL, actually last night when I was on the phone with him and he was watching tv, so I said "Honey how am I supposed to engage in conversation with you if you aren't paying attention?"

 

I don't think he picked up on it though, so who knows!

Posted

LOL. LB, are you trying to send him over the edge? Wasn't this on the non-approved word list, unless used, as Trial suggested, with the word SEX? ;)

  • Author
Posted
LOL. LB, are you trying to send him over the edge? Wasn't this on the non-approved word list, unless used, as Trial suggested, with the word SEX? ;)

 

lol, nah I just wanted to see if he'd pick up on it..which he didn't. Maybe I should try using it with the word SEX though...

Posted
lol, nah I just wanted to see if he'd pick up on it..which he didn't. Maybe I should try using it with the word SEX though...

 

I have to ask... what is his sense of humor like?

 

I freely admit that I am the type of guy who would say these things primarily as a joke. However, if I were in his situation, I would also use that joke as a double meaning... to display my ultimate intent.

 

I dont know anything about him... however, it does seem that his sense of humor is similar to mine!

  • Author
Posted
I have to ask... what is his sense of humor like?

 

I freely admit that I am the type of guy who would say these things primarily as a joke. However, if I were in his situation, I would also use that joke as a double meaning... to display my ultimate intent.

 

I dont know anything about him... however, it does seem that his sense of humor is similar to mine!

 

Well, the past few weeks have just been strange regarding like the future and marriage and things..which is what is really confusing me. First he started talking about our wedding, everything was fine, then he got weird and changed the subject. Then the joke about engagement, which shocked the hell out of me becaues I don't even think he had used the word "engagment" in any kind of context regarding us as a couple.

 

He usually doesn't have a sense of humor about marriage or engagement or anything. He has been talking about a house recently, but I have made it clear that I won't buy a house together until we get married so he knows that. And he talks about the house in the fact that it IS going to happen. I don't know what to think right now, maybe it was just a joke, but it took me by surpise cause usually he wont' even say the word engagement.

 

Actually the christmas present I told him I wanted was a birthstone ring, and he got real weird and said that to him there is only "one ring for him to buy, and you know what ring that is." (his exact words). So he wouldn't even SAY the word engagement. So his actions for the past month or so has been very scattered regarding marriage and engagement. This is why i'm so confused. I really don't know what to make of the situation.

 

The reason I even posted this was because he doesn't usually joke about anything to do with our future/marriage/engagement. He usually won't even talk about it, let alone joke about it!

Posted

The reason I even posted this was because he doesn't usually joke about anything to do with our future/marriage/engagement. He usually won't even talk about it, let alone joke about it!

 

He doesnt usually joke? Is he a very serious person or does he lean towards the carefree side?

 

He wants you to move in together... and he is aware that this will not happen without at least an engagement. Hmmm.... does your gut tell you that these two facts are linked?

 

It's very obvious that he is thinking about marriage and engagement. The question remains.... Why is he passively bringing this up? Is he typically direct with you? If so... how do you normally respond to that?

  • Author
Posted
He doesnt usually joke? Is he a very serious person or does he lean towards the carefree side?

 

He wants you to move in together... and he is aware that this will not happen without at least an engagement. Hmmm.... does your gut tell you that these two facts are linked?

 

It's very obvious that he is thinking about marriage and engagement. The question remains.... Why is he passively bringing this up? Is he typically direct with you? If so... how do you normally respond to that?

 

He makes jokes, but NEVER about marriage/engagement. He is very conservative, so he doesn't usually make perverted or nasty jokes or joke around all the time with me. He makes me laugh, but he's usually not "Mr. Comedian." He is usually very weird about talking about marriage or engagement, so I don't have any idea why he would even crack a joke about it. My gut is telling me that he did that for some other reason, and that it really wasn't just a joke.

 

We have talked about moving in together next summer when I finish my Masters degree, but thats an apartment not a house. I told him I would never buy a house or get into a mortage without being married. I didn't tell him that I would want to get engaged before moving into an apartment together, however I would expect to get engaged within that year following. I'm not any hurry to get married, but like I said in the next few years, yes I do want to because I will be getting older.

 

To answer your other question, I don't have any clue why he is passively bringing this up. He talks about a future together all the time, I know he wnats that, but things about marriage/engagement are confusing with him. He sends me mixed messages about the whole thing and I don't really like to get into it with him because I don't want him to think I'm pressuring him to get engaged. I don't know what to do???

  • Author
Posted

Oh my goodness..my little girl brains are twirling...

Posted
Oh my goodness..my little girl brains are twirling...

 

I understand why this is confusing you.

 

It helps to know that he tends to be conservative. Does that mean his family is conservative as well?

 

Is he typically a direct communicator?

 

Here is a thought. Just as you are afraid to talk about it... due to making him feel pressured. Is ther a possibility that he as well is afraid to speak to you about it. It may be that he just wants to talk to you about it, understand what you want, what you desire, but fears talking to you about it. As though having that talk would build expectation with you or some similar fear.

 

I think if this continues direct communication is the only way to solve this. You would be suprised how effective a direct question sometimes is.

 

Example. He stresses the word engaged in a sentence.

 

You laugh, and say, "Engaged? Is there something on your mind?" If he does fear talking about it, you may need to uncover and address it before he opens up.

 

Then again... I could be completely off base!

  • Author
Posted
I understand why this is confusing you.

 

It helps to know that he tends to be conservative. Does that mean his family is conservative as well?

 

Yes, in a way. They don't object to like premarital sex or anything, because when we go visit his family we sleep in the same bed. I'm thinking maybe his mom did say something to him about his intentions with me regarding marriage/engagement, so maybe thats why he is acting weird.

 

Is he typically a direct communicator

 

Yep, about every issue EXCEPT marriage/engagement. We talk around teh subject. He's never outwardly talked about it to me with the expectation that we are actually talking about our future. It's very strange.

 

Here is a thought. Just as you are afraid to talk about it... due to making him feel pressured. Is ther a possibility that he as well is afraid to speak to you about it. It may be that he just wants to talk to you about it, understand what you want, what you desire, but fears talking to you about it. As though having that talk would build expectation with you or some similar fear.

 

Hmm, I actually never thought of that. I mean the joke had to mean something, there is no way he would have just made that joke just to be funny. Do you think I should try to directly talk to him about our future regarding engagement/marriage? I'm confused as hell, and it's really driving me nuts! I have to try to do it in a non-threatening way though, any ideas?

Posted

Yep, about every issue EXCEPT marriage/engagement. We talk around teh subject. He's never outwardly talked about it to me with the expectation that we are actually talking about our future. It's very strange.

 

Hmm, I actually never thought of that. I mean the joke had to mean something, there is no way he would have just made that joke just to be funny. Do you think I should try to directly talk to him about our future regarding engagement/marriage? I'm confused as hell, and it's really driving me nuts! I have to try to do it in a non-threatening way though, any ideas?

 

Well if this is the only topic he is not direct about. Then that means something is up. It means something is preventing open discussion about this.

 

As long as you make it clear that he brought up the topic, he may appreciate you showing that it is something which is ok to talk about.

 

If he acts like your bieng oversensetive... then you can back off.

 

Just make sure he knows what your expectations are in regards to engagement.

Posted
Oh my goodness..my little girl brains are twirling...

 

STOP it!

 

You are freaking yourself out over nothing! It's not like your bf is angry or upset or pushing you away. All he's doing is making jokes and mentioning words like marriage and engagement, and YOU are the one freaking out.

 

There is nothing for you to DO. Why do you keep asking what you should do? Nothing. Your relationship is great, isn't it? You're happy, aren't you? So what exactly is the big deal here?

 

Why are you freaking out so much?

 

I mean the joke had to mean something, there is no way he would have just made that joke just to be funny. Do you think I should try to directly talk to him about our future regarding engagement/marriage? I'm confused as hell, and it's really driving me nuts! I have to try to do it in a non-threatening way though, any ideas?

I don't understand. WHY do you feel the need to talk to him about it? What is it that you want to KNOW so badly?
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