kitkat289 Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I want to know how it feels when you are in NC mode? Please share your feelings and experiences.I have never been able to do it for more than 3 weeks.In the last 4months of our break-up, sometimes its him who calls and sometimes i cannot resist calling him and then we go back into NC again for like 1 week or so.Things are messed up.I frankly dont know where this relationship is going.This is for sure that he isnt dating anyone as of now because he tells me everything frankly and our relationship was based on friendship.I mean to say that even after we broke up and took time apart....it felt like the same when we started talking, except his mushy talks which i didnt encourage. All those feelings keep coming back after we do NC and feel stronger for each other.And moreover after a month he would be in my city for a job.After NC when we talk he breaks down at times when I control my feelings and vice-versa.All I can see is we getting back together when he is here...I dont know...we keep doing the wrong things. Please help
Author kitkat289 Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 someone please reply.I need to know if something like this has happened with you and how did you did your best.Please guide me.
too old for this Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Hi KitKat...I've actually had a similar experience. I was in a relationship for almost 6 years. We broke up after the first 2 yrs but I ended up staying in the apt we shared because I couldn't afford to move out. Very bad thing to do. Things happened and we got back together. 2 years later we broke up again and I kept in contact with her. I didn't know if she was seeing other people or not because I had my own place. We talked, we went back and forth. I tried to get her back for months. She finally acquiesced and we started to see each other again. I thought we were back in a relationship, but apparently I was wrong. It was all very confusing. Well, 4 months ago(after another year together) she broke up with me again. BTW she initiated all of the breakups. After this last time I have not contacted her, other than about loose ends. I would say if both of you are willing maybe therapy will help you either get it together or let it go. NC isn't easy but if you feel the relationship isn't going anywhere it might be the best thing to do. If I would have known then what I know now I would never have gone back with her after the first breakup. It seems that once that breakup occurs it is really hard for a relationship to ever survive.
Author kitkat289 Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 hey thanks a lot...6 years is a long time.You know whats more interesting is that I will be married in 2 or 3 years as in our country parents start worrying once their daughter turns 25 and more.I can see this thing worrying him a bit,not really but he has asked me a few times if any marriage proposals were coming my way or my parents were looking for a guy just to pull my leg.(By the way they know I will find someone myself and he also thinks so) So you know what I mean to say is that if we see each other for like another 1 or 2years, chances are that we will get married to each other since we were very committed since the beginning of the relationship so much that our parents knew about it and didnt see any problem (which isnt very common here in India).He told me that he's afraid of commitment after all that, so cannot say anything and gave me a hint that he would propose to me when he's settled (he's in his final year) and is ready for marriage.
bustertypsy Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Hi Kitkat and I'm sorry you're feeling lowly.Your situation is not unusual.I think you are both finding it equally as hard to let go.It's obvious you both still have great respect for each other.I'd love to know why you both ended things? All I can say about NC is that it is a way to heal yourself by letting go.Constantly having contact just complicates matters and prolongs the pain.It just sounds to me that there seems to be the ingredients of serious love still there between the two of you.If you think you have both learned things from your split up and are both willing to commit 100% then maybe you should consider talking about a reconciliation. Maybe it's not that simple cos I don't know your history,but there still seems to be strong feelings between you two.
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