spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I went to campus this morning to print something and realized I was in the exact same spot, at the exact same time, that I spotted him a couple of months back. It dawned on me: I could see him again. I switches my glasses in favor of a pair of shades, slipped the hood of my sweatshirt over my head, and positioned myself on a bench across the street, newspaper in hand. Pretending to read. After five minutes he walked by, alone. He looked the same. Same clothes and shoes and everything. Same strut. Completely oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. As tempted as I was to "run" into him, I knew it'd look shady, with me in disguise. Instead I followed him to class. Then I went to the library to check myself out in the mirror in the bathroom. My hair was slick with oil and I wondered about the last time I showered. I washed it in the sink, slicked on some lipgloss, and now I'm waiting for it to be 10:45 so I can wander over to the engineering complex where his class is to find out what he does next. And maybe run into him on accident, if I feel thin enough.
BeautifulMystique Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 When was the last time you showered? Why didn't you say hi to him? Is this a crush?
Star Gazer Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 My hair was slick with oil and I wondered about the last time I showered. I washed it in the sink, slicked on some lipgloss, and now I'm waiting for it to be 10:45 so I can wander over to the engineering complex where his class is to find out what he does next. And maybe run into him on accident, if I feel thin enough. How can you be so concerned about being "thin enough to run into someone," but yet not consciously make a decision on a daily basis to shower and be clean? Drug use. Dropping out of school. Now borderline stalking while filthy. You're really starting to scare me, Spookie. I'm starting to think the name fits.
Author spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 Especially when your target is emerging from a building with exits on all sides and you don't want to risk being spotted making circles around it. Guzzling down the extra-large latte some sucker bought for me in the coffeshop outside the library (we were reading the same book), I planted myself behind some bushes across a lawn from his building in a spot with a decent view of two of the exits. Unfortunately this is a school of 50,000 and as soon as the bell rang for passing period my view was entirely obstructed. I considered doing a walk-by, but after weighing the pros against the cons I decided I was afraid he'd see me. (Pros: a$$$ looks good in these jeans; cons: sweatshirt is covered with unidentifiable stains, hair is filthy and while he's claimed in the past my slovenliness is endearing I know I'm not looking my best.) I think next time I'll bring binoculars and try spying from the high-rise dorm across the street. It ought to have a good vantage point of most of the building.
blind_otter Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 You really are just wallowing in creepiness. Doesn't that make you feel bad?
Author spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 Drug use. Dropping out of school. Now borderline stalking while filthy. You're really starting to scare me, Spookie. I'm starting to think the name fits. Don't be afraid. I've stopped the drinking and the drugs after someone told me, and several other people confirmed, that I was 5th percentile annoying sober, 30th drunk, and 95th high. I tended to self-medicate for the benefit of those around me as I feel awkward when I'm not under the influence, but apparently people like me better sober, so there's no point. As far as dropping out of school goes, at this point I'm so tired of poverty that I think I've finally learned the importance of education. So next semester I'm going back.
serendip Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Especially when your target is emerging from a building with exits on all sides and you don't want to risk being spotted making circles around it. Guzzling down the extra-large latte some sucker bought for me in the coffeshop outside the library (we were reading the same book), I planted myself behind some bushes across a lawn from his building in a spot with a decent view of two of the exits. Unfortunately this is a school of 50,000 and as soon as the bell rang for passing period my view was entirely obstructed. I considered doing a walk-by, but after weighing the pros against the cons I decided I was afraid he'd see me. (Pros: a$$$ looks good in these jeans; cons: sweatshirt is covered with unidentifiable stains, hair is filthy and while he's claimed in the past my slovenliness is endearing I know I'm not looking my best.) I think next time I'll bring binoculars and try spying from the high-rise dorm across the street. It ought to have a good vantage point of most of the building. I can understand googling an ex from time to time...even though that's considered to be internet stalking...but this is creepy
Author spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 Spookie-- How is your housing situation? It's fine. I splurged on some mac and cheese and beer, cooked everyone dinner, and now they think we're friends. They told me it HAD been about the mess, which was misattributed to me (Reuben's the messy one). Although, last night at 5 in the morning a homeless person banged on our door and as I went to inspect I realized someone had left it unlocked and that he was turning the doorknob. Luckily I thought fast enough to grab a knife from the kitchen, pose intimidatingly (our door is made of glass and you can see in from the outside), and scream loud enough to wake the house. He turned around and walked away without coming in, leaving me scared sh!!tless and unable to fall back asleep.
tomwiz Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I'm not goign to lie, this whole post/thread really creeps me out
jmargel Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Either this is a troll who has come out from under their bridge or you are posting here looking for help. I'm assuming that you are not a troll. Your stalking and your actions makes me think that you think of yourself in a bad way. You have no self-confidence and assume that you are not worthy enough of someone to love you. Though I don't know you or your past.
Kasan Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 No, I don't think that she is a troll--if you go back and read some of what she has written, you will find that she seems real although she does/ has some strange experiences, and makes some really bad choices.
Author spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 I'm not goign to lie, this whole post/thread really creeps me out I just reread what I wrote and it creeps me out too. It' bee two days since I last slept. I think I need sleep. I'm assuming that you are not a troll. Your stalking and your actions makes me think that you think of yourself in a bad way. You have no self-confidence and assume that you are not worthy enough of someone to love you. Right now it's not a confidence issue, it's a fact; I'm not worthy. Hopefully I can get sh!!t together enough so that this stops being true but in the meantime I'm not gonna lie to myself. I miss my ex so much and I want to contact him but honestly, if I were him, I'd stay the f&*k away. But, the knowledge that he would do that would hurt so much, that it's not worth the risk that making contact entails. So I can only look on from afar, hoping he's ok.
underpants Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 This thread is hilarious. Spook. I know you fancy yourself a sociopath. If you are gonna be one, for gosh sakes be a smart one. Don't scare your ex away by stalking him. Don't drown yourself in booze and drugs. You have to be very sober, alert and calm to really mess with people. You did your survey of the underbelly of society. Now get your hiney out of the strip club and into a better job (even if for a little less money). Get your hiney back into school. You will want to achieve a higher status to be convincing that you fit into society. Child.... bathe regularly!!! That is all.
Author spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 This thread is hilarious. Spook. I know you fancy yourself a sociopath. If you are gonna be one, for gosh sakes be a smart one. Don't scare your ex away by stalking him. Don't drown yourself in booze and drugs. You have to be very sober, alert and calm to really mess with people. :laugh:ldn You did your survey of the underbelly of society. Now get your hiney out of the strip club and into a better job (even if for a little less money). Get your hiney back into school. You will want to achieve a higher status to be convincing that you fit into society. Child.... bathe regularly!!! That is all. Thanks for getting it. =) I did hope to be amusing. I don't feel sociopathic anymore but I do feel a disconnect with society at large, like I have no interest in relationships of any kind and prefer to spend my days hanging out alone and entertaining myself. BTW I was kidding about the binoculars. Sort of. I don't think I'd go that far, unless I really had to to sneak a peek.
Kasan Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Well, I didn't want you to know that I laughed at your post, as I was afraid that it might send you over the edge, but girl you have a talent for writing, as well as understatement. I especially enjoyed your rant about your roommates and how they were kicking you out, although I am glad that you all made nice. As long as you're good, that is all that matters.
Ssheena Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Let me ask you something. How did you feel once you saw him? What do you supposed would have happened if he had seen you or you had "accidentally" bumped into him? Can you imagine what you would have said, what he would have said? Especially, looking dissheveled/dirty. I'm right there with you on the anti-social thing as right now, I could f*ing give a hoot what anyone else in this world thinks of me. Whether it is the change of the seasons, the lack of sunlight, whatever - I'm just going into hybernation. My mind is still going and I'm thinking of what I'm going to do, what's important to me but my stupid x-boyfriend - bahhhhh. I know from past experiences that I have to take the time to go through all this, and I've done your path before too. Breakfast? 3 shots of tequila. Wake and bake? Yup. Been there, done that. Eventually, it comes down to - the only person who is ever, ever going to take care of me is me and if I want something done, I need to do it myself. I think you will eventually be amazed at how strong and resourceful you actually are.
e.clipse Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Thanks for getting it. =) I did hope to be amusing . . . BTW I was kidding about the binoculars. Sort of. I don't think I'd go that far, unless I really had to to sneak a peek. ha. funny posts. as a suggestion, if you ever do feel you really need to have a sneak peak, you should talk to ariadne for information on proper binocular usage.
sb129 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Spookie, did things finish with that guy, you know the one you were posting about a few weeks back? How come you haven't slept in two days? Thats some bender.
sb129 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 ha. funny posts. as a suggestion, if you ever do feel you really need to have a sneak peak, you should talk to ariadne for information on proper binocular usage. Funny post from you too.... you know alot about some of the regulars for a first time poster!
LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 You can stalk me! I love your writing. Gunna have to read your old posts now. I was very much entertained, even if it is your real life. You seem like a great person, dont let some chump bring you down!
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