butterfly_stained Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost two months. I live in Dallas, Texas, her in a small town in Louisiana two hours away from New Orleans. I met her over a convention forum when she PM'd me randomly. From then on, after a few replies back and forth, we began IM'ing each other until the convention came along. We met for the first time there, and I'm not lying when I say that I was immediately attached. At that point in time, even after our ages-long goodbye filled with hugs and pouts and "I don't wanna leave you!"s, I considered myself straight as a board. Men, men, men. Then, a week after the convention, she told me she liked me romantically, and wondered why I was straight. It was a funny conversation, when I look back on it. Weeks passed, AIM conversations were had, pictures passed around, and I started feeling something for her. It was unreal to me, I didn't understand it. Now, like most girls out there, I'd had my share of crushes and some heartbreaks, but this time I was trying to fight against it, push away the feeling that was slowly taking me over. Two months after the convention, on the same day I got my new truck, I let her know that I wanted to be with her. It was like a game of tag; me the unsure, previously-straight girl who'd never been in a relationship before, her the slightly more confident and most experienced by one boyfriend, both going back and forth with "really?"s and "yes"s. The first weeks were amazing...I was the happiest I'd ever been, I was doing well in school, and I had her...I realized, maybe around the beginning of November after every spazz and worry attack I'd had over her common disappearances from the internet (she's always signed on and doesn't carry her phone with her all the time...or keep it on), after every text message chat, after every call, that I truly loved her. At first, I loved her, but it was still mostly friendship love. Now, I feel like I'm dying without her. See...she hasn't been talking to me lately. All the IMs and text messages and calls...gone. This past week was the worst for me. I had no contact with her, despite that I sent her texts and IMs every day, asking and pleading for her to contact me, to let me know she's okay and safe. Then she text'd me yesterday, saying she was sorry for not talking lately, she had been depressed and suffered a mental breakdown. But her best friend for 7 years comforted her and helped her get over it, and that was it. She told me she'd tell me about it that night, but last night the only explanation I was blessed with was short and sweet, and left me feeling hollow. I felt horrible...I felt horrible that I couldn't be the one she'd come to. Does she not trust me anymore? We promised in the beginning that if we thought it wouldn't work out, we'd tell each other and stay friends. So now I wonder if she knows how much it hurts and pains me. Am I just too needy and clingy? Too dependent? Do I ask for too much? Am I just another burden that she has to deal with? Now I ask, what do you think? Is this just a case of long-distance? Or a major symptom of college-girl-addicted-to-World-of-Warcraft? Or something else? Please, I'm so confused...
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