Loss of a baby

[Lyssa]

I got home this morning from an overseas trip. As soon as I saw my parents, I knew something was up. They were happy to receive me back home but I can tell they were sad as well.

 

As I got into the car, they told me that my SIL had a miscarriage. I was devastated to say the least! It's not my baby but it makes me so sad. It must be because it was their first attempt at it & the fact that I was so excited about getting another niece/nephew. I was hoping it'd be a nephew since I have 3 nieces but the hope is lost now.

 

My SIL isn't ready to meet anyone at the moment which is understandable. I'm not too sure if they will try again since she'll turn 40 next year and told my mother, she isn't so sure about trying again. It's really sad because they are good people. My SIL has such a big heart and is amazing. She has got to be the best SIL I have & for this to happen to them, it really breaks my heart.

 

I hope she is coping well. My brother is an optimistic person so he was fine over the phone. That or he didn't want me to worry. It's hard for me to accept this right now. My mother can't say enough of this : everything happens for a reason.

[marlena]

I am sorry for your family's loss. Your sister is emotionally vulnerable right now so of course the idea of trying again so soon after her loss is one she rejects. She might have a change of opinion a year from now. Lots of women have children in their early forties! Once again, my condolences.

[Meaplus3]

I got home this morning from an overseas trip. As soon as I saw my parents, I knew something was up. They were happy to receive me back home but I can tell they were sad as well.

 

As I got into the car, they told me that my SIL had a miscarriage. I was devastated to say the least! It's not my baby but it makes me so sad. It must be because it was their first attempt at it & the fact that I was so excited about getting another niece/nephew. I was hoping it'd be a nephew since I have 3 nieces but the hope is lost now.

 

My SIL isn't ready to meet anyone at the moment which is understandable. I'm not too sure if they will try again since she'll turn 40 next year and told my mother, she isn't so sure about trying again. It's really sad because they are good people. My SIL has such a big heart and is amazing. She has got to be the best SIL I have & for this to happen to them, it really breaks my heart.

 

I hope she is coping well. My brother is an optimistic person so he was fine over the phone. That or he didn't want me to worry. It's hard for me to accept this right now. My mother can't say enough of this : everything happens for a reason.

 

Lyssa, I'm so sorry to hear of your SIL's loss. This is never an easy thing to accept at first. I myself had 2 miscarriages. One was very early on and the other was at 12 week's and hit me out of the blue. In both cases I was devestated. I however over time managed to go on and have 3 children.

 

The best thing for your SIL and brother in law to do at this time is to work through the loss together. Your mother is very correct to say that everything happen's for a reason it's so true. Your SIL needs time to grieve before she is ready to try again. I think that grieving time is Diff for everyone. Hug's to you! She will be in my prayer's.

 

AP:)

[blind_otter]

I'm sorry to hear about your SIL's loss. I've had two miscarriages as well, one at 11 weeks and another at 14 weeks. It's always a difficult thing to deal with. When she's up to it, go and visit with her and try to cheer her up and distract her. I remember it was nice when others showed me sympathy because it is a sad situation. I'm pregnant right now and I'm constantly worried about miscarrying.

[Lostgurl]

Hi Lyssa, I'm so very sorry to hear about your family's loss. It's such a hard thing to go through. Hugs to you.

[quankanne]

Lyssa, I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage – best thing is to just be there for your brother and his wife in whatever manner they need the most. And my guess is to just listen when they talk. And maybe let them gently know that despite this loss, their baby was able to bring a special joy to the family for the time he or she was here, and that's priceless ...

[bigheartkindsoul]

Hey girl, sorry to hear that news.

 

{{{{hugs}}}}

 

for you and your family

 

xxxx

[Lyssa]

Marlena - Thank you. I don't think she's that old not to try for another one, you know but it saddens me to have this happened to them.

 

Thank you, AP. I'm sorry to hear about your loss too! It must have been really hard. I can't imagine going through something like this. You must be very proud of your 3 children! Thank you for keeping her in your prayers!

[[[hugs]]]

 

BO - Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I will definitely visit her when she's ready to welcome visitors. I would have loved to go straight away from the airport as we are close but I have to respect her for not wanting any visitors at the moment but I did talk to her for a bit just now. She sounded fine. I'm pretty good at cheering people up so I am really looking forward to spending some time with her and my brother. How long have you been pregnant now? Is everything fine?

 

Thank you, LG. It's hard and everyone is down right now at home. [[[hugs]]]

 

I'm trying my best to be there for them, Quankanne. I texted them earlier before the phone call cause I wasn't sure if any of them wanted to talk. Turned out my brother called and started making jokes. Not only grieving time differs from one to another as AP said, I know the way one deals with it is diff too - as the case of my brother . I guess he has to stay strong for both of them as my SIL is not herself right now.

 

Thank you so much for your posts. The posts made me cry - in a good way of course! I really hope my SIL will want to try again because she would make a great mother and my brother has always been a great uncle to all 3 nieces of ours. Thank you for your kind words, it made me feel much better and I will definitely pass the condolence to my family.

[Lyssa]

Thank you, BHKS. I needed the hugs!!

 

[[[hugs]]]

[Lizzie60]

that is sooo sad.. I'm sorry for you and your SIL and brother. This must be a very hard thing to accept.

 

Big hugs to you and them. xxx

[blind_otter]

BO - Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I will definitely visit her when she's ready to welcome visitors. I would have loved to go straight away from the airport as we are close but I have to respect her for not wanting any visitors at the moment but I did talk to her for a bit just now. She sounded fine. I'm pretty good at cheering people up so I am really looking forward to spending some time with her and my brother. How long have you been pregnant now? Is everything fine?

 

You're a good SIL. She's lucky to have someone like you in her life.

 

I'm only 7 weeks along now, so I'm still worried. Thanks for the shout-out.

 

I do hope things get better soon for your SIL and Bro.

[Meaplus3]

Marlena - Thank you. I don't think she's that old not to try for another one, you know but it saddens me to have this happened to them.

 

Thank you, AP. I'm sorry to hear about your loss too! It must have been really hard. I can't imagine going through something like this. You must be very proud of your 3 children! Thank you for keeping her in your prayers!

[[[hugs]]]

 

BO - Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I will definitely visit her when she's ready to welcome visitors. I would have loved to go straight away from the airport as we are close but I have to respect her for not wanting any visitors at the moment but I did talk to her for a bit just now. She sounded fine. I'm pretty good at cheering people up so I am really looking forward to spending some time with her and my brother. How long have you been pregnant now? Is everything fine?

 

Thank you, LG. It's hard and everyone is down right now at home. [[[hugs]]]

 

I'm trying my best to be there for them, Quankanne. I texted them earlier before the phone call cause I wasn't sure if any of them wanted to talk. Turned out my brother called and started making jokes. Not only grieving time differs from one to another as AP said, I know the way one deals with it is diff too - as the case of my brother . I guess he has to stay strong for both of them as my SIL is not herself right now.

 

Thank you so much for your posts. The posts made me cry - in a good way of course! I really hope my SIL will want to try again because she would make a great mother and my brother has always been a great uncle to all 3 nieces of ours. Thank you for your kind words, it made me feel much better and I will definitely pass the condolence to my family.

 

Thank's Lyssa! Yes I am extra proud of my 3 littleone's! You have a heart of gold and your SIL is very lucky to have you!

 

AP:)

[Meaplus3]

You're a good SIL. She's lucky to have someone like you in her life.

 

I'm only 7 weeks along now, so I'm still worried. Thanks for the shout-out.

 

I do hope things get better soon for your SIL and Bro.

 

Blindotter, I understand just how you are feeling right now, as I went through that 3 times, with each of my pregnancy's. One thing my doctor's did for me was to offer an early ultrasound to check for a fetal HB. I believe I had each one of those at about 9 week's. I found comfort in that. I will pray for you. Hug's!!

[Lyssa]

Lizzie, thanks! Yes it is. Still can't accept it, really. xxx

 

Thanks, BO. We're all lucky to have one another! I'll hold my two thumbs for you and your baby!

 

AP - [[[hugs]]] Thanks.. as I stated above, I'm lucky to have her as my SIL. She really treats everyone in our family well. Takes good care of my parents too so you can imagine how painful it is for me to accept this happening to them.

[WanderingDove]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My condolense to you and family. Family bonding is important and I hope things will be better for your brother and wife. Do spend time with her when you are able to.

[Lyssa]

Thank you, WanderingDove and welcome to LS.