shiro kuma Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Hi, My ex-girlfriend messaged me on Facebook telling me to move on (I've been pouring my heart to her about trying to work things out...) and that she says that she has. My question is if she really has moved on, why does she still have me as her first friend on MySpace (I still have her as my first friend as well, we did that when we started dating last year). She still has all of the comments I sent her when we were going out on her profile (I still have the ones she sent to me as well). She doesn't check her MySpace that much but, I checked her profile today and it said that she logged in yesterday, she could have deleted me as her top friend, deleted all of my comments but, why hasn't she? is it possible that she hasn't moved on yet? as well as on Facebook, she still has all of my comments on her profile, comments I made of her photos, and she still has the photos that I took of her up as well. I don't know what this means but, I guess I might be over-analyzing...just a little . After she broke up with me she made me one her top friends on Facebook (second to her best friend), I did the same. Why?
Ocean-Blue Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Hi, My ex-girlfriend messaged me on Facebook telling me to move on (I've been pouring my heart to her about trying to work things out...) and that she says that she has. My question is if she really has moved on, why does she still have me as her first friend on MySpace (I still have her as my first friend as well, we did that when we started dating last year). She still has all of the comments I sent her when we were going out on her profile (I still have the ones she sent to me as well). She doesn't check her MySpace that much but, I checked her profile today and it said that she logged in yesterday, she could have deleted me as her top friend, deleted all of my comments but, why hasn't she? is it possible that she hasn't moved on yet? as well as on Facebook, she still has all of my comments on her profile, comments I made of her photos, and she still has the photos that I took of her up as well. I don't know what this means but, I guess I might be over-analyzing...just a little . After she broke up with me she made me one her top friends on Facebook (second to her best friend), I did the same. Why? Have you considered taking initiative and removing her from all of your lists? Having an ex on facebook, etc can be REALLY weird. You see what they're up to and vice versa...it's not the best idea if you ask me. My ex was on my friends list for a while and it made things much worse. If you've made efforts to tell her how you feel and she is not open to the idea of you two getting back together, perhaps you should back off and let her "move on" the way she wants. You don't want her holding on to you...to be her "just in case" guy.
Letranger Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 I think you definitely want to move on. I bet she lost respect for you by 'pouring your heart out'.
marlena Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 I agree with Ocean Blue. Why not take the initiative? Cyber stalking can only drag out your pain and delay your healing. When my ex and I broke up the first time, he sent me an invite asking me if he could add me to his contacts on msn. I flatly refused. I did not want this man to know my movements nor did I want to know his. When we got back together, he tried to talk me into it again but I stood my ground. I even removed my profile from the dating site we both belonged to (where we met) so that he wouldn't have the satisfaction of knowing what I was thinking or doing. I find all this stuff rather childish! And as Ocean Blue said if she doesn't want to give things a second chance after you have told her about the way you feel, best move on. Pleading will not fix things but only make them worse.
SmileyFace82 Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 I agree with the above... you just gotta let go and stop cyber stalking. I know cause i've been there and it does just slow down the process of you moving on. There are many reasons why she possibly still has you as her 'top' friend but it really isn't your concern anymore. She keeps you on there... you are feeling pain... she removes you... and you'll feel pain. Like i said there can be many reasons as to why she's keeping you on there as a top friend but it feels like it's all a part of a big game. You just gotta stop playing cause you can't win the way you are at the moment. She's holding all the cards at the moment. Move on... there is nothing you'll see on her facebook/myspace that will make you feel better by knowing what she is up to. What are you trying to get out of viewing her profile? Trust me, you will only get hurt. I won't go as far as deleting her off (as this would seem childish and petty) but you really have to stop viewing her page, you've got to make a huge effort and start meeting new people... you'll see the difference in no time.
starlite Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 She probably hasnt even thought of it. If she has really moved on, then you being in her friends list on an internet site doesnt matter. Did she change her status to single? I bet she did. She probably doesnt want to seem spiteful. A woman will not tell someone she has really moved on etc unless she really has. Listen to her words, and the fact that she is not sending mixed signals such as emails and phone calls etc. She is moving on...now it is your turn.
Author shiro kuma Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 Do they *EVER* come back...? or is that solely her decision if she does in fact initiate contact again? from what I heard, it's once you move on that they sometimes come back (I find that odd).
too old for this Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Once you've moved on you won't care if she wants to come back or not. That's just a fact, but in order to move on you have to stop what you're doing and not have contact with her. The fact that she has you as a top friend on her profile really doesn't mean anything. However, you're mind will keep going round and round wondering what does all of it mean. I know I've been there too. Keep some respect for yourself. If she has clearly asked you to move on, then she means it. It sounds pretty straightforward. Take care of yourself and move on too.
SmileyFace82 Posted December 4, 2007 Posted December 4, 2007 Yes i agree... why wait around for something that may never happen? You should move on and hold your head up high and enjoy your life. If she comes back then it's YOUR choice whether you want her back or not cause by then you should be in a state where you are in control of your life, emotions and feelings. I've gone against my own advice and have deleted my ex off my facebook. I still have strong feelings for her but i have decided that it wasn't do me any good seeing her pics and knowing what she is getting up to. Before i was worried about deleting her off because i was worried about what she thinks and what our friends think... but then i've reached the conclusion of... who cares. I need to do what makes me feel better and allows me to move on... although i feel like **** at the moment... i know in the long run it will be a positive move. Move forwards man, she's gone ahead of you and left you behind...there's no point waiting around stood where you are, you've got to move on too.
Author shiro kuma Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 So...on Saturday night at around 1:30 in the morning I get a text message from surprise, surprise, my ex-girlfriend, she sent me a text saying "Hey". I responded back with "Hi" yesterday evening then, five minutes later she responds back with "Hows things?", I haven't responded back yet. I miss her so much, I could go on and on about that but, it would not do a thing because in the end, it is her decision. Right now though, isn't the ball in my court? because she has not heard back from me yet.
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