Phateless Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Somehow I'm slipping... I'm all insecure and feeling incapable again. I'm over analyzing, second-guessing, and blowing it with women. Not sure how I did this to myself. I had this one girl that I can tell is so interested, and over the course of two conversations I feel like I'm turning it around and totally blowing it. I don't even know how I do it, although I see it happening as I do it, if that makes sense. ggaaahhhh!!!!
Leia Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Have you been dating a lot lately? With different girls... that could be the cause of your over-analyzing your dates....
Jilly Bean Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Well, I really think being so conscious of it means it is within your ability to change this behavior that is so distressing, right? That's got to be encouraging. I would take that energy you are spending now being mad at yourself and turn it around and use it so you won't repeat these patterns.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Somehow I'm slipping... I'm all insecure and feeling incapable again. I'm over analyzing, second-guessing, and blowing it with women. Not sure how I did this to myself. I had this one girl that I can tell is so interested, and over the course of two conversations I feel like I'm turning it around and totally blowing it. I don't even know how I do it, although I see it happening as I do it, if that makes sense. ggaaahhhh!!!! Maybe you are focusing too heavily on changing yourself that you are holding yourself back. Change takes time...
Author Phateless Posted November 28, 2007 Author Posted November 28, 2007 Have you been dating a lot lately? With different girls... that could be the cause of your over-analyzing your dates.... I've been meeting a lot of people but haven't been going on any dates. I went downtown tonight and I met several girls and I could tell they were good opportunities but I just didn't have anything to say to them. <shrug> It's weird, I feel like I can attract them initially but I just can't find a way to connect right now. I'm just gonna back off and do my own thing until my mental state changes, I guess...
BeautifulMystique Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I went through the same thing and I realized it was me that had a problem. So I backed off from the dating scene and spent time going through my needs, wants and emotions. What I was lacking, I worked on it and what I had, I made it better - still working on some things but I am a better person now. Just waiting for the right moment to go out and date again. I hope you will take the time to focus on yourself.
Author Phateless Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 I went through the same thing and I realized it was me that had a problem. So I backed off from the dating scene and spent time going through my needs, wants and emotions. What I was lacking, I worked on it and what I had, I made it better - still working on some things but I am a better person now. Just waiting for the right moment to go out and date again. I hope you will take the time to focus on yourself. I think you're dead-on. That's what I've decided as well, to just quit worrying so much about women and to focus on what's going to make me successful in life. I already know for a fact that I won't have a problem when I'm ready, so I should just calm the F down.
WIGIRL Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Always remember that you cannot "make" every woman like you or be interested in you either. Don't blame yourself for that. That is just how it goes.
oppath Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 I think you're dead-on. That's what I've decided as well, to just quit worrying so much about women and to focus on what's going to make me successful in life. I already know for a fact that I won't have a problem when I'm ready, so I should just calm the F down. Right, and you are also getting over a recent breakup, right? I know how it is, that rush, not exactly rebounding, but meeting people but it only being on the surface. It is disappointing and you think "is it me? My skills?" It's important to step back and focus on your life in general. The dates will come. They will probably come in droves, a bunch of women in a row, and then months or two with nothing. That is how it usually goes unless you force it to much. Here's a thought...despite these women being opportunities that you would normally close, maybe you are trying to connect with them too long and it is just not there, when normally you would have bailed earlier.
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