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Posted

Hey guys, I am in a bad situation here. I had been dating the most wonderful guy for 4 years, and about two months ago I broke up with him. I felt like I needed to be single for a while, because I am young (21) and I just felt like we needed to experience what else was out there for us. He was devastated when I did this. I didn't know what else to do, I was scared of not knowing what else is out there for me, and what I was "missing out on."

 

During the past couple months I have met some guys, and dated one for a little bit. But it doesn't feel right :( I feel like I can't be with anyone but my ex boyfriend. I miss him so much, and him and I had such a special bond with each other. I don't know what I was thinking when I broke up with him-- I feel like a completely different person and I just want back what we had. I talked to him about this, and now HE is the one that does not want a relationship again. I asked him about maybe getting together sometime in the future, after he takes some time. He keeps telling me that he doesn't think so, that he doesn't feel like he used to about me.

 

I know that this is all my fault, that if I had never broken up with him in the first place, things would all be fine. I feel so terrible and I am so heart broken. :( The hardest part is that I did this to myself and it could be easily preventable. I don't know what to do with myself, and all I can think about is him. I have tried to explain to him how much he means to me and how much I miss him, how much I need him. He understands, but he doesn't feel the same way.

 

We had such a perfect relationship, we were both completely in love with each other. I am scared that he will never love me again and never want to be with me. The farther we drift apart, the less he is going to want give it another try with me :( I know I messed up. I have made the biggest mistake of my life.

 

I know you can't make someone fall in love with you. He says he "will always love me", but this is just tearing me up inside.

 

Please help me, what should I do? Is there any way or anything else I can say to him to make him realize how perfect we are for each other?

 

Thank you so much for your help...

Posted

Sorry to hear about the situation. I wish it was that easy for me.

 

What did he do or say after you broke up with him? Does he know you dated other guys? I'm sure he still hurt and only thinking how you did this to him. Is he calling you or you the one contacting him? 2 months is still to soon to see what's going on with him. I wouldn't pressure him to getting back together, I would just be a friend and limit your contact so he realize if he misses you. Who knows you may change your mind again or he may change his mind.

Posted

thats what happenes when either one in the realtionship breaks up..leaving the other person suffering and deppressed wondering what they did wrong and hoping for another chance trying to forget about them at the same time..after a while the "dumper" starts realizing that the made a mistake that what they had was what they always wanted and they should had never broken up and then its too late....i am not trying to be mean but this is your fault and now you got to deal with the consequences....you broke up with him and left him when he was in love with you you let him go.. now he doesnt want you back because he feels that your treating him liek your little puppy.. like someone you can come back to when ever you feel like it...no one wants to feel that way...trust me...now all you got to do now is try to win him back..start fresh hang out for a while and get his trust back like before.. show him you still care for him and that you love him and that you are willing to work things out again.. forget the past and start new...he will give in if he still loves you and if you guys had something beautiful when you were toguether....

Posted

My post is a little harsh but I am not about to sugar coat what has happened. (How old is he?). I know you are hurting but I want to be honest.

 

Why did you feel the need to be single? What do you want to experience? What else is out there? Please be specific because if he treated you right, you were in love and happy, what were you looking for?

If you love him and he loves you...what am I missing? Did you want a better looking guy? A wealthier guy? Party excitement? Isn't the object to be happy? If you found it at such a young age, be thankful, don't look for an out.

 

Are you kidding me??? You were with him for 4 years and within the 2 months apart you dated more than one person? What kind of respect did and do you still have for him...none. It seems that you had someone in the wings before you broke up with him and now "the grass wasn't greener". He deserves better than how you treated him. Much better.

 

I'm sorry but you hurt him, and you hurt him bad. I know the feeling of being dumped when I thought things were perfect. Don't you think for the last 2 months he's been sitting around saying, "what did I do wrong" and blaming himself?

 

OK...with that said, we all make mistakes and it's how we learn from them that make us stronger and wiser. If you truly love him, make it known. He will have a hard time trusting you again. Put yourself in his shoes. Don't you think that if he lets you back in his life, he's taking a huge risk? Not to mention that after you broke it off, you immediately dated. That can't sit to well with him and if he doesn't know about that, then you should question how much you truly loved him during the relationship.

Posted

I'm sorry but I have to agree with Syracuse. If you had the perfect relationship then why walk away from that? Women have to understand there are still good guys out there and they don't deserve that kind of selfishness. If you want him back you are going to have to stop asking to come back. Things like this take time and he's shut his feelings off from you. So you're going to have to be patient and just be cool with him. I'm sorry darling but it's all up to him if he wants to come back there isn't much you can do but pray. But anything is possible.

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